From 34c6fc343ecfb3daadaff71e92fe5c3b3651b2d3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: BodgeMaster <> Date: Fri, 3 May 2024 08:26:00 +0200 Subject: [PATCH] 'ja' Erosion: revision, continue writing --- ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html | 67 ++++++++++++++++++++++++--------- 1 file changed, 50 insertions(+), 17 deletions(-) diff --git a/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html b/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html index 4e77a84..5ffdeb8 100644 --- a/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html +++ b/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html @@ -10,15 +10,17 @@
I'm gonna ... need a moment.
Water?
- She lifts her head and Jack hands her a glass. After taking a couple sips, - she sets it down, unsure whether it helps or makes it worse, and rests - her head again.
- Just let me sit here for a moment.
- After a while, she lifts her head again.
- So what year is it? ... and what's our + She raises her head and Jack hands her a glass. After taking a couple + sips, she sets it down, unsure whether it helps or makes it worse, and + rests her head again.
+ Just let me sit here for a moment. +

+

+ After a while, she lifts up her head again:
+ What year is it? ... and what's our mission?
- Twenty-one-oh-six. We don't have a - mission, uplink's dead.
+ Twenty-one-oh-six. We don't have an + explicit mission, uplink's dead.
You're kidding.
Nope.
How'd you get woken up then?
@@ -26,11 +28,41 @@ You survived that?
That was the least of my challenges.
- Jack recounts his side of the events of the past - amount of time as well as some of the things he had read about in - the logs or talked about with Annie. + Jack briefly recounts his side of the events of the past + amount of time as well as some of the things + he had read in the logs or talked about with Annie. +

+

+ Michelle's dizziness goes away and the burning sensation in her body + begins to fade. She slowly gets up, takes a few cautious steps forward to + the table, and leans on it.
+ So? She looks at Jack. + What now? Any plans?
+ I guess, for now, exploring the area and + taking a look at the uplink. I wanna see if we can fix it.
+ Michelle thinks for a moment.
+ Sorry but I don't quite feel ready for + a hike like that. I'm gonna need a little bit longer.
+ Take your time. +

+

+ After a short pause, Jack walks over to the kitchen area, saying: + If you want, I got some leftover baked potato + wedges...
+ Ooh yeah, something to eat would be really + nice right now. Did you make your usual spicy dip to go with them? +
+ Yup.
+ He places a small bowl filled with a dark red paste on the table. + Then, he takes the Backblech? with the + wedges and puts it in the oven to reheat them. +

+

+ Michelle turns around and picks up the glass off the floor before sitting + down at the table. + Idk they eat, guess I'll need to describe that + in a bit more detail... Then they get ready to leave.

-

missing section

They step outside and, following what remains of the old path, start walking. It is narrow and winded, overgrown, and has partially @@ -43,11 +75,12 @@ and says: Well, that could be a reason why the uplink is down – it literally is down.... Michelle reaches the edge and and sees what Jack had stopped for: - A huge ravine estends towards the top of the mountain where a landslide - had left nothing but a cliff and a huge pile of rubble. At the top of - the mountain, teetering on the edge, are two buildings – all - that's left of the ground station. The rest of the buildings and - the dish lay strewn around in pieces down below. + A large ravine? wash? extends towards the + top of the mountain where a landslide had left nothing but a cliff and + a huge pile of rubble. At the top of the mountain, teetering on the + edge, are two buildings – all that's left of the ground + station. The rest of the buildings and the dish lay strewn around + in pieces down below.

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