- Jack drives into a dried-out river. A bit away from the other side is a - group of houses that – while they have certainly seen better days - – aren't ruins. The truck struggles to get traction in the - sand on the other side of the river bed. After getting stuck, he backs up - and turns into the river. He accelerates, the engine roars, then he - steers it back onto the side of the river. The truck gets stuck again. - This process repeats twice more before they finally make it out and back - onto the tall grass that covers the area. Jack drives over to the remains - of a road that lead to the settlement. + Jack drives into a dried-out river. In the distance on the other side is + a group of houses that, while they have certainly seen better days, + don't look abandoned. The truck struggles to get traction in the + sand on the other side of the river bed. After getting stuck, Jack backs + up and turns into the river. He accelerates, then steers back onto the + river bank – to no avail. He turns back into the river again. + The engine roars. First gear, second gear, third gear... Then, he steers + back into the side of the river. rephrase bc + repetetiveness +
+
+ The suspension bottoms out as the truck plows uphill through the sand,
+ barely making it out of the river. Annie holds her shoulder that had
+ been pushed into the seat belt.
+ Can we not do that again, please?
+ response?
+ Jack turns around and drives onto the overgrown remains of a road leading
+ to the settlement.
He parks in front of an old store.
This is it, I guess.
They get out and start walking towards the door. A small dog runs up to
- greet them, jumping around, running in circles, and wagging its tail.
+ them, barking, jumping around, running in circles, and wagging its tail.
It picks up a stick and drops it in front of Annie. She crouches down,
- pets the dog, and picks up the stick. The dog bites into the other end
- and pulls on it.
- note: need reason for Jack to go ahead, also better
- wording
- I'll be inside.
- Jack goes into the store.
+ pets the dog, and picks up the stick.
+ I'll be right there, Annie says
+ to Jack before throwing it.
+ Okay. Jack goes into the store.
- note: need to state that the man appears to be in
- his 60s
- After playing with the dog for a bit, Annie follows. The man behind the
- counter is talking to Jack:
+ After playing fetch for a bit, Annie follows. Behind the counter is a man
+ who appears to be in his 60s. He is talking to Jack:
I mean in the long run. We have plenty of food
right now but, since the <river name> has changed course, we
don't even have enough water to grow crops for ourselves. The
@@ -45,7 +50,7 @@
Listen, we don't just need a little bit of
water. The amount of water we need can't simply be carried here or
we'd do it ourselves. And we need it regularly and consistently.
- When the <river> still flowed here, water userd to flow into our
+ When the <river> still flowed here, water used to flow into our
irrigation system upstream and got distributed to all the fields and
greenhouses from there.
I know you need an industrial quantity of