'jc' Night Watch: revision, continue writing

jc-night_watch.html

@@ -3,11 +3,11 @@
   Night Watch
 </h1>
 <p>
-  There&apos;s the station. Michelle looks up at the clock. 06:41.
+  There&apos;s the station. Michelle looks up. The morning twilight gives
-  The morning twilight gives the sky a pink hue.<br />
+  the sky a pink hue. The station&apos;s clock shows&nbsp;06:41.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Shit! Two minutes.</span><br />
-  She runs for the platform. Warm air hits her face as she enters the
+  She begins running for the platform. Warm air hits her face as she enters
-  station &ndash; and the all too familiar stench of piss. She looks up at
+  the station &ndash; and the all too familiar stench of piss. She looks at
   the signs. Something is off but she can&apos;t quite tell what.
   She runs along, looking for her platform, until she reaches the other
   end of the tunnel.<br />
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
   around her. Jack leans forward and sets a lantern with a candle on the
   table.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Don&apos;t you wanna sleep in your bed?
-  Your body would thank you.</span><br />
+  Your body would appreciate it.</span><br />
   She remembers. She was supposed to be on night watch until two.
   <br />
   <span class="quote speech">What time is it?</span><br />
@@ -30,34 +30,55 @@
   <span class="quote speech">All good, nothing happened.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">What about the fire?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Still embers.</span><br />
-  She stands up, holding onto the table with one hand and moving her hair
+  <span class="quote speech">Phew.</span><br />
+  She stands up, holding on to the table with one hand and moving her hair
   out of her face with the other. She thinks
   <span class="quote non-speech">When did I fall asleep?</span>
   Last thing she remembers, it was still bright outside.
-  <span class="quote non-speech">8 PM? No, it's June. 9 PM?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote non-speech">8 PM? No, it's June. 9 PM?</span>
-  <span class="comment">something has to be said here, dialog/paragraph
+  She yawns.
-  feels unfinished</span>
 </p>
 <p>
-  Wolves howling outside get their attention. Michelle suddenly feels very
+  Wolves howling. Michelle suddenly feels very awake. Jack grabs a gun
-  awake. Jack grabs a gun and checks that it is loaded. Michelle grabs her
+  and checks that it is loaded. Michelle grabs her bow and quiver with
-  bow and quiver with arrows. They walk over to the entrance and look
+  arrows. They walk over to the entrance and look around. It&apos;s still
-  around. It&apos;s still dark, but barely bright enough to see. The sky
+  dark outside, but barely bright enough to see. The sky over the mountain
-  over the mountain ridge to the north-east is a faint green, the rest is
+  ridge to the north-east is a faint green, the rest is deep blue with
-  deep blue and some stars are visible. A pack of wolves is down by the
+  stars. A pack of wolves is down by the river, minding their own business.
-  river, minding their own business. The two watch the wolves for a while
+  The two watch them for a while before concluding they probably
-  before concluding they probably aren&apos;t a concern for now. Jack puts
+  aren&apos;t a concern for now. Jack puts the gun into the
-  the gun into the <span class="comment">holster?</span> on his belt and
+  <span class="comment">holster?</span> on his belt and Michelle lays
-  Michelle lays bow and quiver down and sits next to the embers.
+  bow and quiver down and sits by the embers.
 </p>
 <p>
   She grabs a few sticks of dry fir, needles still attached, and pushes
   them into the embers. After a bit of blowing on them, they go up in
-  flames. Jack dumps a pile of dry fir and other sticks on it and they
+  flames. Jack dumps another pile of fir and other sticks onto it and they
   both blow on the flames.
 </p>
 <p>
-  <span class="comment">This chapter ends with Michelle sleeping next to
+  Soon enough, the fire is back in its full form. Jack goes inside and
-  the fire.</span>
+  reemerges with two seat cushions <span class="comment">translate:
+  Sitzkissen</span>, blankets, and some snacks. They sit down next to
+  each other on the cushions on the ground, facing the fire.
+  Michelle feels her back getting cold and puts one of the blankets over
+  her shoulders. Jack seems to have other priorities &ndash; he opens
+  a preserved can of cashews and starts munching. She grabs a handful
+  and starts eating as well, staring into the warm glow of the flames.
+  The heat radiating from the fire fills her body with a fuzzy warmth.
+</p>
+<p>
+<!--
+She wakes up to discover herself laying on her side, head on his lap,
+and him twirling her hair through his fingers.
+"I didn&apos;t know we were close like that."
+"Sorry."
+He stops.
+"I don&apos;t think we are. You were tired enough to let your guard down."
+She moves the arm she is laing on to a more comfortable pose.
+"Well, let&apos;s cringe about that when it&apos;s daytime."
+
+//TODO: find exact Pineapple quote and lift it if it fits here. :)
+-->
 </p>
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