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Unlikely Encounter, notes/story: minor language fix and notes for logic fixes

master
BodgeMaster 2023-08-17 17:32:17 +02:00
parent 94cbdf8dfe
commit 654a369607
2 changed files with 7 additions and 2 deletions
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6
01 Unlikely Encounter (Annie intro).md
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@ -68,7 +68,7 @@ That took a while to... type?... Is that the word? The rows of buttons are arran
``` ```
i cant call anyone the phone is only making weird noises i cant call anyone the phone is only making weird noises
That’s probably because the modem I am connected to is on the same line. I’ll disconnect. I will dial in again in a bit. Talk to you then. This modem is probably on the same line, I’ll disconnect. I will dial in again in a bit. Talk to you then.
LINE DISCONNECTED - LINE DISCONNECTED -
Tue, 2106-06-01, 19:16 Tue, 2106-06-01, 19:16
@ -76,6 +76,10 @@ Tue, 2106-06-01, 19:16
AgriWorks Login: █ AgriWorks Login: █
``` ```
*notes for improvements:*
- *This would be a good place for Annie to ask about what a modem is. Could help to fix the terminal dialog.*
- *Also an opportunity for Karl to get very interested in Jack’s situation.*
Annie picks up the phone again - but who to call? Her coworkers would probably make fun of her or be annoyed. Also, this place, ‘Cryo Facility 53’, she had never heard of it. The only one who might know more about that place is her grandpa, as he had thoroughly studied the plans of the city in his spare time back in the day. So she dials his number... Annie picks up the phone again - but who to call? Her coworkers would probably make fun of her or be annoyed. Also, this place, ‘Cryo Facility 53’, she had never heard of it. The only one who might know more about that place is her grandpa, as he had thoroughly studied the plans of the city in his spare time back in the day. So she dials his number...
She is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man. She is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man.

1
notes/story.md
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@ -30,6 +30,7 @@
* also the idea comes up that they could ask Jack to help them in return for them helping him to get out * also the idea comes up that they could ask Jack to help them in return for them helping him to get out
* has to end with law enforcement arriving at the bar for an unrelated reason and Kate telling them to gtfo * has to end with law enforcement arriving at the bar for an unrelated reason and Kate telling them to gtfo
* \[partial\] Emily intro * \[partial\] Emily intro
* Before this chapter, there needs to be some sort of hint of what is coming (for example, Jack mentions the moon habitat or Annie asks why he was frozen)
* Emily wakes up, Lena is in her room crying * Emily wakes up, Lena is in her room crying
* introduces that ppl die from some disease on the moon * introduces that ppl die from some disease on the moon
* breakfast * breakfast