02 Unlikely Encounter: Attempt to fix some of the problems that arise from this not being the first chapter anymore

02-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html

@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
-  That came from the hallway. She steps outside her office to locate the
+  That came from the hallway. She steps outside her office to find the
   source of this noise. Everyone else had already gone home and she was
   about to leave as well so this is weird.
 </p>
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
-  It sounds clearer, it comes from down there. Annie walks down the
+  The sound is clearer, it comes from down there. Annie walks down the
   stairs and turns on the lights. She rarely goes to the basement, usually
   just to add to the piles of archived paperwork on the rows of shelves,
   but she had no idea there was anything other than the archive down here.
@@ -56,34 +56,33 @@
   leather chair in front of it. Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was
   apparently placed there in the absence of a desk lamp. The desk itself is
   a mess, apart from a neatly organized row of books towards the wall,
-  holding all sorts of tools and cables. Front and center is a terminal...
+  holding all sorts of cables and other things. Front and center is a
+  terminal...
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP
 </p>
 <p>
-  ... and apparently it is the source of the beep sound. The terminal is
+  ... and apparently it is the source of the beep sound. She had never
-  a device that looks like kind of a weird TV. It has a screen to display
+  used one before but taking a quick look can&apos;t hurt &ndash; and
-  text, a couple adjustment knobs, and a flat section with rows of buttons
+  besides, this beeping is slowly getting annoying. She walks up to it and
-  with letters and symbols on them. The reception desk has one of these
+  begins to inspect it... <span class="comment">wording!!</span>
-  things; they always use it to order new office supplies and for other
-  important-sounding work...
 </p>
-<ul>
-  <li class="comment">
-    might want an image of a dumb terminal somewhere
-  </li>
-  <li class="comment">
-    might need to drive the point home even harder that the flat part of
-    the terminal is a keyboard - Annie may or may not know this
-  </li>
-</ul>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP
 </p>
 <p>
-  The text on the terminal blinks. She had never used one before but
+  ... ugh. That&apos;s kinda loud. The terminal looks like kind of a weird
-  taking a quick look can&apos;t hurt...
+  TV. It has a screen to display text, a couple adjustment knobs, and a
+  flat section with rows of buttons with letters and symbols on them. The
+  reception desk has one of these things; they always use it to order new
+  office supplies and for other important-sounding work...
+</p>
+<p class="heavy">
+  BEEP BEEP
+</p>
+<p>
+  The text on-screen flickers.
 </p>
 <pre class="terminal">
 Hello, anyone there?
@@ -124,11 +123,10 @@ Thank you. Appreciate it.
 </pre>
 <p>
   That took a while to... type?... Is that the word? The rows of buttons
-  are arranged in a strange order... Annie looks around. A pile of papers,
+  are arranged in a strange order... Annie looks around. Lots of cables,
-  an empty cup, some pens and pencils, a screwdriver and other tools, a
+  a pile of paper, an empty cup, some pens and pencils, a screwdriver and
-  rubber duck - what an odd place to find a rubber duck... A phone! She
+  other tools, a rubber duck - what an odd place to find a rubber duck...
-  picks it up - no signal. <span class="comment">Signal might be the wrong
+  A phone! She picks it up - no signal. <span class="comment">Freizeichen?
-  word in an age where everyone has a radio transceiver in their pocket
   </span> Weird. Maybe it&apos;s disconnected. She looks on the floor and,
   sure enough, there is the plug - not for much longer as she finds a
   phone socket and plugs it in. Strange electrical noises. She tries to
@@ -136,7 +134,6 @@ Thank you. Appreciate it.
   the terminal. She drops the receiver back on the cradle and types into
   the terminal again:
 </p>
-
 <pre class="terminal">
 i cant call anyone the phone is only making weird noises
 
@@ -193,17 +190,13 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
   <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s a bit of a tricky question...
   These cryogenics facilities are outside the dome.</span>
 </p>
-<p class="comment">
-  Missing dialog here:
-</p>
 <ul>
   <li class="comment">
-   needs to explain to the reader that the city is inside a large concrete
+   needs to imply that the dome is under a mountain / underground
-   dome under a mountain
   </li>
   <li class="comment">
-    his dad had mentioned it in passing when talking about the old world
+    hint at the fact that the city was built with the
-    and attempts to overcome the impending doom of humanity
+    intention that ppl would return outside when it is safe again
   </li>
   <li class="comment">
     explanation of what &quot;cryogenic sleep&quot; is
@@ -214,9 +207,8 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
 </ul>
 <p>
   Slowly, she sets the receiver back on the cradle. What would she tell
-  Jack? What could she do for him? And the outside world was real? A whole
+  Jack? What could she do for him? And the outside world - people could
-  world, much bigger than the city, that she had never heard anything but
+  survive there? She looks at the terminal but nothing had changed.
-  rumors about? She looks at the terminal but nothing had changed.
 </p>
 <p>
   Annie ponders over what she had just learned for a moment, then she gets
@@ -251,39 +243,23 @@ Hm. Okay...
   really is nothing she could do about it.
 </p>
 
+<p class="comment">
+  TODO: Fix this
+</p>
 <pre class="terminal">
 is there anything else i could do for you
 
-Let me think for a moment.
+Yes. I might be able to force the door open if I had a service manual for
-......
+it. Do you think you can get me a copy?
-..............
-...
-......
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-  More dots followed. A lot more. Then this:
-</p>
-
-<pre class="terminal">
-................................
-Sorry for taking up your time.
-I think I might be able to improvise some tools down here. If I had a
-repair manual for the door, I think, I could get out. Do you think you can
-get your hands on one?
 
 i dont know  where would i find it
-</pre>
+
-<p class="comment"> service manual </p>
+You are in the city under the mountain, right?
-<pre class="terminal">
+
-You are in the city under the mountain, right? The dome city?
-</pre>
-<p class="comment">reword this</p>
-<pre class="terminal">
 yes &lt;name of city&gt;
 
 If memory serves right, there is a library in the city center. They should
-have it. I need the repair manual for a Neotek Dynamics B33FY-AF Bunker
+have it. I need the service manual for a Neotek Dynamics B33FY-AF Bunker
 Door.
 
 yes   but how would i get a book to you