diff --git a/mc-welcome_home.html b/mc-welcome_home.html index b011ff1..a14475b 100644 --- a/mc-welcome_home.html +++ b/mc-welcome_home.html @@ -11,31 +11,32 @@ it?
Gonna guess that's our campfire – nothing to worry about.
- response? + I hope you're right on that.

-

- Annie and Jack walk over a crest? ridge?, - revealing a view of the small valley beyond. - Is there a distinct word for a terrain feature - like a very small valley?
- The bunker is set into the mountain on the other side, the large open - door visible from afar. There is a small cleared space between it and - the road, surrounded by bushes. Someone is sitting there, next to - a fire.
- lay of the land info (for Jack opening the door - scene): from their current PoV, there is a road below them, coming from +

+ lay of the land info (for Jack opening the door scene):
+ from their current PoV, there is a road below them, coming from the right, crossing the the valley over a bridge, and turning back to the right where it passes the bunker and continues around the other - mountain
- They start making their way down to the road.
+ mountain
+ Maybe, since this is Annie's perspective, it might be fitting + to lay it out again. +

+

+ Annie and Jack walk over a ridge, revealing a view of the small valley + beyond. The bunker is set into the mountain on the other side, the large + open door visible from afar. There is a small cleared space between it + and the road, surrounded by bushes. Someone is sitting there, next to + a fire. They start making their way down to the road.
Jack takes a radio off his belt and speaks into it: research todo: radio protocol
Michelle, we're just entering the valley.
We? You got company?
Annie.
- I see. Am cooking – any food allergies - or other dietary restrictions I should watch out for?
+ I see. I'm cooking – any food + allergies or other dietary restrictions I should watch out for? +
Annie shakes her head.
She says no.
Okay, see you in a bit.
@@ -45,42 +46,59 @@ It takes them a while to get to the road. The pavement is cracked with plants growing out of it. Ahead of them is a bridge over a small river. They cross it about half-way where Annie stops and turns to the railing. - She almost leans against it, before the thought - What if it breaks? shoots into her - head. She grabs on to it and shakes ... herself. The railing stands firm. -
- At some point soon-ish after this, Annie will try - this and the floor under her will give out. From then on, she will be - afraid of going too close to railings / edges.
- Jack joins her looking down at the small river below and says: - Learning quickly, huh?
- - What she got to say? What she seeing? + She almost leans against it, befefore a thought shoots into her mind: + What if it breaks? + She grabs on to it and shakes ... herself. The railing stands firm.

- After a moment, they continue along the road. It makes a sharp turn to - the right into a slight incline along the hillside. They walk for a few - more minutes and reach the bunker. As they approach, the person they saw - earlier – presumably Michelle – comes out of the bunker and - adds some ingredients to a pot on a tripod over the flames. + Jack joins her looking down at what's below and says: + Learning quickly, huh?
+ Seeing it once is good enough.
+ A small stream flows there, cutting deep into the ground, lined by + a thicket of bushes on either side.
+ Jack asks: Are you familiar with + raspberries?
+ They are very rare and expensive.
+ Look over there.
+ He points to one of the bushes which, on a second look, is full of + berries.
+ Ooooh!
+ They walk to the other side of the bridge and go to the bush.
+ After picking a few berries, Jack says: + I think we should come back later with + a bucket.
+ Annie agrees and they make their way through the bushes to the stream, + where they wash and eat the berries. +
+ Note to self: At some point soon-ish after this, + Annie will try testing the railing on a bridge or building and the floor + under her feet will give out. From then on, she will be afraid of + going too close to railings / edges.
+

+

+ They continue along the road. It makes a sharp turn to the right into + a slight incline along the hillside. They walk for a few more minutes + and reach the bunker. As they approach, the person they saw earlier + – presumably Michelle – comes out of the bunker and adds + some ingredients to a pot on a tripod over the flames. Jack introduces the two to each other – it is Michelle.
So you join us out here after all?
- Yeah, things kinda went south quickly. -
+ Yeah, things went south kinda quickly. +
Well then, welcome to your new home for the - time being. + time being.
They all sit down around the fire and Annie recounts the events of the recent past while the meal continues cooking.

- The ensuing conversation is interrupted by a noise in the bushes. - Michelle tilts her head, then turns around.
+ The ensuing conversation is interrupted by a noise in the bushes around + them. Michelle tilts her head, then turns around.
Is that a dog? There's a dog here!
A medium-sized, brown dog runs out, sniffs them all, barks and then runs - off on the road, disappearing around an outcrop. A moment later, it + off on the road, disappearing around a rock outcrop. A moment later, it comes back, followed by a guy wearing a long, dark green coat that has been patched a few times. He is wearing a backpack and holds a long staff, using it as a walking stick.