From 9b6942441ad3c6583015c86a5d782c099ae678b1 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: BodgeMaster <>
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2024 20:47:25 +0200
Subject: [PATCH] 'na' Telescope: add more details and dialog into the existing
 text

---
 na-Telescope.html | 34 ++++++++++++++++++++++++----------
 1 file changed, 24 insertions(+), 10 deletions(-)

diff --git a/na-Telescope.html b/na-Telescope.html
index 521a133..6b2f400 100644
--- a/na-Telescope.html
+++ b/na-Telescope.html
@@ -3,14 +3,15 @@
 <h1>Telescope</h1>
 <p>
   Michelle says: <span class="quote speech">I know the way.</span><br />
-  Jack extends his hand with the keys.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Wanna drive?</span><br />
+  Jack extends his hand with the keys.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Sure.</span><br />
-  She takes them and the four get in the truck. A few moments later,
-  Michelle pulls onto the road in front of the bunker.<br />
-  James asks: <span class="quote speech">How far is it?</span><br />
+  She takes them and the four get in the truck. James joins Michelle in
+  the front while Annie and Jack take the rear seats. A few moments later,
+  Michelle pulls onto the street in front of the bunker.<br />
+  James asks her: <span class="quote speech">How far is it?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">A decent bit. Used to be about an hour on the
-  highway. If it&apos;s in even somewhat decent shape, I&apos;d say
+  highway... If it&apos;s in even somewhat decent shape, I&apos;d say
   we&apos;re gonna make it there in about that time.</span><br />
   She turns right at an intersection onto the on-ramp, saying:<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Gonna find out very soon...</span>
@@ -18,12 +19,25 @@
 <p>
   The pavement is cracked and has potholes, and the highway is partially
   overgrown but, despite this, its condition is somehow good enough.
-  Michelle floors it and the remains of the city outskirts flies by.
+  Michelle floors it and the truck rattles and shakes as it accelerates
+  on the uneven asphalt. James <span class="comment">hangs on to the handle
+  </span>in the door as the remains of the city outskirts fly by.
+  Michelle notices it:<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">You don&apos;t need to hold on, that seat
+  belt is gonna hold you.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">How are you not absolutely terrified by the
+  speed you&apos;re going?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">You get used to it after a while... Also,
+  I know the capabilities of this car very well &ndash; I used to drive
+  one like this.</span>
+</p>
+<p>
   Within a few minutes, they make it out of Ivydale, leaving its valley
-  behind. The mountains make way for an area of plains and
-  <span class="comment">low, smooth</span> hills. She takes an exit onto
-  another highway. The large, rusty signs above it still indicate the
-  proximity of Sentinel Shores where they haven&apos;t faded completely.
+  behind. The mountains make way for an area of plains and shallow hills.
+  She takes an exit onto another highway. The large, rusty signs above
+  still indicate the proximity of Sentinel Shores where they haven&apos;t
+  faded completely. <span class="comment">feels like something is missing
+  here</span>
 </p>
 <p>
   The highway takes them north, around the western part of Ivydale&apos;s