'jc' Night Watch: revision, finish writing

I’m not quite happy with how it turned out, but it contains all the events
I wanted to add to this chapter. I’ll probably spend a long time trying to
improve the language at some point.

jc-night_watch.html

@@ -8,12 +8,15 @@
   <span class="quote speech">Shit! Two minutes.</span><br />
   She begins running for the platform. Warm air hits her face as she enters
   the station &ndash; and the all too familiar stench of piss. She looks at
-  the signs. Something is off but she can&apos;t quite tell what.
+  the signs. Something&apos;s off but she can&apos;t quite tell what.
   She runs along, looking for her platform, until she reaches the other
   end of the tunnel.<br />
   It hits her: <span class="quote non-speech">Wait...
-  Where the fuck is platform 6?</span><br />
+  Where the hell is platform 6?</span><br />
-  She runs back. Platform 6 is nowhere to be seen. Someone grabs her by
+  She runs back. Platform 6 is nowhere to be seen.
+</p>
+<p>
+  Someone grabs her by
   the shoulder.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Michelle?</span><br />
   She opens her eyes and lifts her head, looking around in confusion.
@@ -25,27 +28,28 @@
   She remembers. She was supposed to be on night watch until two.
   <br />
   <span class="quote speech">What time is it?</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Three AM.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Three A.M.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Sorry.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">All good, nothing happened.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">What about the fire?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Still embers.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Phew.</span><br />
-  She stands up, holding on to the table with one hand and moving her hair
+  She stands up, holding on to the table for support with one hand while
-  out of her face with the other. She thinks
+  moving her hair out of her face with the other. She thinks
   <span class="quote non-speech">When did I fall asleep?</span>
   Last thing she remembers, it was still bright outside.
-  <span class="quote non-speech">8 PM? No, it's June. 9 PM?</span>
+  <span class="quote non-speech">8 P.M.? No, it's June. 9 P.M.?</span>
   She yawns.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Wolves howling. Michelle suddenly feels very awake. Jack grabs a gun
+  Their attention gets abruptly captured by wolves howling. Michelle
-  and checks that it is loaded. Michelle grabs her bow and quiver with
+  suddenly feels very awake. Jack grabs a gun from the safe and checks
-  arrows. They walk over to the entrance and look around. It&apos;s still
+  that it is loaded. Michelle opens a drawer and grabs her bow and quiver
-  dark outside, but barely bright enough to see. The sky over the mountain
+  with arrows. They walk over to the entrance and look around. It&apos;s
-  ridge to the north-east is a faint green, the rest is deep blue with
+  still dark outside, but barely bright enough to see. The sky over the
-  stars. A pack of wolves is down by the river, minding their own business.
+  mountain ridge to the north-east is a faint green, the rest is deep blue
-  The two watch them for a while before concluding they probably
+  with stars. A pack of wolves is down by the river, minding their own
+  business. The two watch them for a while before concluding they probably
   aren&apos;t a concern for now. Jack puts the gun into the
   <span class="comment">holster?</span> on his belt and Michelle lays
   bow and quiver down and sits by the embers.
@@ -58,27 +62,36 @@
 </p>
 <p>
   Soon enough, the fire is back in its full form. Jack goes inside and
-  reemerges with two seat cushions <span class="comment">translate:
+  reemerges with two <span class="comment">seat cushions?</span>,
-  Sitzkissen</span>, blankets, and some snacks. They sit down next to
+  blankets, and some snacks. They sit down next to
   each other on the cushions on the ground, facing the fire.
   Michelle feels her back getting cold and puts one of the blankets over
   her shoulders. Jack seems to have other priorities &ndash; he opens
   a preserved can of cashews and starts munching. She grabs a handful
   and starts eating as well, staring into the warm glow of the flames.
-  The heat radiating from the fire fills her body with a fuzzy warmth.
+  The heat that starts radiating from the fire fills her body with a fuzzy
+  warmth.
 </p>
 <p>
-<!--
+  She wakes up to find herself laying on her side, still facing the fire,
-She wakes up to discover herself laying on her side, head on his lap,
+  with her head on Jack&apos;s lap. She feels him twirling her hair through
-and him twirling her hair through his fingers.
+  his fingers. Everything around them is bright as day.<br />
-"I didn&apos;t know we were close like that."
+  She says: <span class="quote speech">I didn&apos;t know we were close
-"Sorry."
+  like that.</span><br />
-He stops.
+  <span class="quote speech">Sorry.</span> He stops.
-"I don&apos;t think we are. You were tired enough to let your guard down."
+  <span class="quote speech">I don&apos;t think we are. You were just very
-She moves the arm she is laing on to a more comfortable pose.
+  out of it.</span><br />
-"Well, let&apos;s cringe about that when it&apos;s daytime."
+  Michelle adjusts her pose, moving the arm she is laying on to a more
-
+  comfortable position, but stays put.<br />
-//TODO: find exact Pineapple quote and lift it if it fits here. :)
+  <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m fine with this. We can cringe about
--->
+  it later... By the way, what time is it?</span><br />
+  Jack looks at his watch. She hears the segments of the metal
+  <span class="comment">wrist band?</span> moving near her ear.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Around 04:30 A.M.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Okay, good night.</span><br />
+  <span class="comment">Thank you to PineappleJoy for the inspiration
+  for this wonderful dialog. :)<br />
+  I&apos;m not sure if I should keep it though, because this isn&apos;t
+  gonna go anywhere.</span>
 </p>
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