diff --git a/01-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html b/01-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html index dba0530..84971e9 100644 --- a/01-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html +++ b/01-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html @@ -165,26 +165,29 @@ AgriWorks Login: █

She is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man.
- "What's on your mind that you call now?" + What's on your mind that you call now? Note to self: Improve this, it doesn't sound right to me
- "Uhhh..." She makes a short pause. "This might be a little - bit weird but someone contacted me from a location called - ‘Cryo Facility 53'. I wondered if you happen to know - where that is." or anything about it
- "Cryo Facility? Haven't heard anyone talk about these in a - while... Are you sure?"
- "Yes, it says here: Cryo Facility 53."
- "What does he want?" + Uhhh...
+ She makes a short pause.
+ This might be a little bit weird but someone + contacted me from a location called + "Cryo Facility 53". I wondered if you happen to know + where that is. or anything about it +
+ Cryo Facility? Haven't heard anyone talk + about these in a while... Are you sure?
+ Yes, it says here: Cryo Facility 53.
+ What does he want?

Annie relays what Jack had told her about his situation and asks who would be the right person to help him.
- "That's a bit of a tricky question... These cryogenics - facilities are outside the dome." + That's a bit of a tricky question... These + cryogenics facilities are outside the dome.

- *Missing dialog here:* + Missing dialog here:

- "Next stop: Center Square" + Next stop: Center Square
Annie looks up. That's the station she has to get off at. She only needs to be at work in the afternoon so she decided to get the manual for Jack. @@ -71,27 +71,32 @@

Annie makes her way up the stairs and enters through the large wooden doors. She walks up to the counter.
- "Hello, how may I help you today?" The guy behind the counter - smiles. "Borrowing the next stack of fantasy books?", he asks. -
- "Uhm... Actually, no", Annie replies as she takes her library - card and a piece of paper out of her bag. "I have a quite unusual - request. I am looking for" - she glances at the piece of paper - - "a manual for a B three three F Y dash A F bunker door."
+ Hello, how may I help you today?
+ The guy behind the counter smiles.
+ Borrowing the next stack of fantasy books?, + he asks.
+ Uhm... Actually, no, Annie replies as she + takes her library card and a piece of paper out of her bag.
+ I have a quite unusual request. I am looking + for - she glances at the piece of paper - a + manual for a B three three F Y dash A F bunker door.
The guy types into his terminal for a moment. Annie places her library card on the counter. With a worried look, he turns back to her:
- "I'm afraid, that information has recently been classified. - There is a note about terrorism in here."
- "So there is no way to get it?"
+ I'm afraid, that information has recently been + classified. There is a note about terrorism in here.
+ So there is no way to get it?
He musters her for a second, then he takes the card and scribbles something on it before putting it back.
- "I can check you against a list of people with security clearance. - One moment, I'll get it."
+ I can check you against a list of people with + security clearance. One moment, I'll get it.
He gestures and nods towards the exit. Then, he turns around and walks towards a door on the left, seemingly taking his sweet time. Annie gets the message, grabs her library card and makes a swift exit. Just as she leaves, she hears him call out to someone else:
- "Dorothy, she left. What do I put on the list?"
+ Dorothy, she left. What do I put on the list? +
+ Input on how to format this dialog is appreciated. +
heavy door falls shut, Annie hurries back to the train station and gets on the first train that comes, she takes out her library card and checks the note - such and such station, 10:30 PM diff --git a/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html b/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html index 565a359..c22dd7c 100644 --- a/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html +++ b/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html @@ -91,28 +91,33 @@ the lines. Annie presses the button; the door opens.

- "Hey, wait..."
+ Hey, wait...
The guy had made his way to the door and looks directly at her. It's him from behind the library counter.
- "We're gonna take this one for a couple stations."
+ We're gonna take this one for a couple + stations.
Annie steps aside and he gets on the train as well.
- "My name is Lucas, nice to meet you." He extends his hand as - the doors close.
- "Annie." He probably knew that already, right? "Sorry for - being late."
+ My name is Lucas, nice to meet you.
+ He extends his hand as the doors close.
+ Annie.
+ He probably knew that already, right?
+ Sorry for being late.
The hum of the motors sets in and the train begins to move.
- "Perfect timing, I'd say." He makes a short pause before - continuing quietly: "So about that interaction we had earlier today - - I assume you want to leave the dome?"
- "Not directly..."
- "Okay then disregard my question and we have never met."
- "Wait. You say there is a way out of the dome?"
- "Well, there might be. Some friends of mine say there is." + Perfect timing, I'd say.
+ He makes a short pause before continuing quietly:
+ So about that interaction we had earlier today + - I assume you want to leave the dome?
+ Not directly...
+ Okay then disregard my question and we have never + met.
+ Wait. You say there is a way out of the dome?
+ Well, there might be. Some friends of mine say there + is.
Annie thinks about it for a moment. Before yesterday, she wasn't even aware that there was a world outside the dome - and now she might find out about a way to go there?
- "Tell me more." she replies. + Tell me more, she replies.

They get off at a station near the city center - a place that is never @@ -134,11 +139,11 @@ feels dense and depleted, and carries the smell of alcohol. Live musicians are playing Idk? Music genre? Need ideas on a small stage area in the corner.
- "Hey Kate, I'll take a some very - alcoholic drink? "Braincell Rattler"? Idk and my uhh... - friend here looks like she needs a coffee."
- "Okay. Going to the back room?"
- "Yeah."
+ Hey Kate, I'll take a + some very alcoholic drink? "Braincell Rattler"? Idk + and my uhh... friend here looks like she needs a coffee.
+ Okay. Going to the back room?
+ Yeah.
Coffee sounds good... The back room? Annie raises an eyebrow. He opens a door next to the counter and gestures her to follow.

@@ -147,41 +152,46 @@ the same with her jacket. She looks into the room: A bunch of people sitting around a large, round table - to her surprise including her grandpa.
- "Grandpa Karl?" Language intuition - question: Is this how one would realistically refer to their grandpa? -
- "Hi Annie!" TODO: Fix this
+ Grandpa Karl? Language + intuition question: Is this how one would realistically refer to their + grandpa?
+ Hi Annie! TODO: Fix + this
Before she has time to voice her confusion, they get interrupted:
- "Here you go, your drinks. Enjoy!"
+ Here you go, your drinks. Enjoy!
Lucas walks up to the window that connects to behind the counter.
- "Thank you!"
+ Thank you!
Annie takes a second to regain her composure. I don't think this is a great way to say that, Idk. - "Thanks." + Thanks.

They sit down at the table. Karl starts introducing people and some introduce themselves. Then, he continues talking about the group's mission:

-

- "We are working on getting the city officials to change their - stance on some things. When the city was built, it was seen as sort of - a plan B for humanity in case things would get worse. It wasn't - built as a place where we could go and hide forever in isolation. Over - time, knowledge of the outside world stopped being an imagination of a - possible bright future, and instead it became something to be worried - about. ‘What do you mean, you want to go there? Do you really want - to go where the air you breathe is literal poison and die?' +

+ TODO: whole paragraph speech formatting + We are working on getting the city officials to + change their stance on some things. When the city was built, it was seen + as sort of a plan B for humanity in case things would get worse. + It wasn't built as a place where we could go and hide forever in + isolation. Over time, knowledge of the outside world stopped being an + imagination of a possible bright future, and instead it became something + to be worried about. ‘What do you mean, you want to go there? + Do you really want to go where the air you breathe is literal poison + and die?'

-

- My dad used to always say - and maybe this was naive hope on his part - - that it would get better one day and that we could open up the airlocks - and leave. That was many, many years ago. It's been over a century - now since the city was sealed - even if it was naive hope on his part, - we should at least take a look outside and see for ourselves what - it's like."
- Voices of agreement all around the table. +

+ TODO: whole paragraph speech formatting + My dad used to always say - and maybe this was naive + hope on his part - that it would get better one day and that we could + open up the airlocks and leave. That was many, many years ago. It's + been over a century now since the city was sealed - even if it was naive + hope on his part, we should at least take a look outside and see for + ourselves what it's like.
+ Voices of agreement all around the table. move + this outside of the speech paragraph

- "I mean we have that manual at the library." says Lucas. - "It's just classified because they really don't want - anyone to open or use the air locks." He reaches into his pocket - and pulls out a key chain. "If you want, you can try getting it - - I can't because I disappeared from a birthday party with an excuse - and they are probably waiting for me to be back." He places the - keys in the center of the table.
- Karl says "I would love to, but I'm afraid I can't run if - things go south."
+ I mean we have that manual at the library. + says Lucas. It's just classified because they + really don't want anyone to open or use the air locks.
+ He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key chain.
+ If you want, you can try getting it - I can't + because I disappeared from a birthday party with an excuse and they are + probably waiting for me to be back.
+ He places the keys in the center of the table.
+ Karl says: I would love to, but I'm afraid I + can't run if things go south.
A bunch of other excuses from other people. Finally, Annie takes the - initiative: "I could go. Anyone want to help me with this?" + initiative:
+ I could go. Anyone want to help me with this?

diff --git a/06-Library-At_Night.html b/06-Library-At_Night.html index 307f4dc..c4439d1 100644 --- a/06-Library-At_Night.html +++ b/06-Library-At_Night.html @@ -53,22 +53,22 @@ with computer equipment. To the right is a shelf with boxes.

- The two paragraphs below are really not ideally formatted. Depending on - how the styling for literal speech turns out, I might need to touch up - the formatting for all dialogs and monologs in the story. + Again, request for formatting suggestions below...

- "I guess this is it. Let's take a look at the instructions - Karl gave you." Isabelle says in a hushed voice.
- Annie pulls the note out of her bag. "First step is turning on the - terminal... Hey, Lucas said something about using a new floppy disk, can - you search for that?"
+ I guess this is it. Let's take a look at the + instructions Karl gave you. Isabelle says in a hushed voice.
+ Annie pulls the note out of her bag.
+ First step is turning on the terminal... Hey, Lucas + said something about using a new floppy disk, can you search for + that?
Annie walks over to the terminal; Isabelle turns to the boxes on the shelf. Annie puts the keys on the desk and inspects the terminal for a power switch.
- "There's a box with cookies back here." She pulls it out - from behind the terminal. They giggle.
- "I want one", says Isabelle.
+ There's a box with cookies back here. +
+ She pulls it out from behind the terminal. They giggle.
+ I want one, says Isabelle.
Both end up taking a cookie before stashing the box behind the terminal again.

@@ -76,48 +76,59 @@ Annie flips the power switch. The terminal makes a bonk sound and a crackling noise. She feels the hairs on her arm stand up as she inadvertently moves it in front of the screen.
- "Whoa..." The screen begins to light up. "... I guess - this is supposed to happen." Annie looks back at the note.
- "‘Turn on main power switch on computer'...", she - mumbles to herself. She looks at the racks. They are mostly filled with - what looks like large drawers with buttons on them. The one in the - center is different. It has a bunch of empty panels, some panels with - buttons and lights on them, and some other devices. + Whoa...
+ The screen begins to light up.
+ ... I guess this is supposed to happen.
+ Annie looks back at the note.
+ ‘Turn on main power switch on + computer'..., she mumbles to herself.
+ She looks at the racks. They are mostly filled with what looks like + large drawers with buttons on them. The one in the center is different. + It has a bunch of empty panels, some panels with buttons and lights on + them, and some other devices.

- "I found you a new floppy disk." Isabelle interrupts her. She - pulls a large, square, floppy thing, half-wrapped in a paper sleeve, out - of one of the boxes. She pulls the paper sleeve off. Turns out, it's - another sleeve made out of thin plastic with some openings that were - previously covered by the paper containing a black, glossy circle.
- "Lucas said to put it in the computer and push a lever down." -
+ I found you a new floppy disk. Isabelle + interrupts her.
+ She pulls a large, square, floppy thing, half-wrapped in a paper sleeve, + out of one of the boxes. She pulls the paper sleeve off. Turns out, + it's another sleeve made out of thin plastic with some openings + that were previously covered by the paper containing a black, glossy + circle.
+ Lucas said to put it in the computer and push a + lever down.
They look back and forth between the floppy disk and the computer until Isabelle points to a device in the center rack with a large, flat slot - and says: "It could fit in there." She walks up to it and - inserts the disk. Then, she pushes on the mechanism in the center of the - slot. It latches in place. "What's next?"
- "The note says to turn on the 'main power switch'", - Annie repeats while inspecting one of the panels with buttons. - "Maybe this one?" She points at a key switch.
- "Let's try." Isabelle hands her the keys. One of them - fits and turns. + and says:
+ It could fit in there.
+ She walks up to it and inserts the disk. Then, she pushes on the + mechanism in the center of the slot. It latches in place.
+ What's next?
+ The note says to turn on the 'main power + switch', Annie repeats while inspecting one of the panels + with buttons.
+ Maybe this one?
+ She points at a key switch.
+ Let's try.
+ Isabelle hands her the keys. One of them fits and turns.

Fans come on; they hear the loud noise of air rushing through the computer. Some of the lights and buttons light up. Annie looks at the note again:
- "‘Spin up boot hard drive'... Lucas has also written - here: 'Number 2'" The two look back at the racks.
- "These drawer thingies here have numbers on them, maybe that's - what they mean?" Isabelle presses the power button on number two. - It starts blinking. The device makes a loud clonk noise followed by a - motor accelerating inside. Clicking and more mechanical noises. The - power switch stops blinking and stays lit up.
- "The last step on the note is to press ‘reset' and - ‘load' and to enter something into the terminal. They also - wrote down a list of commands that might help us to find and copy the - manual, and ‘Good luck!'..."
+ ‘Spin up boot hard drive'... Lucas has + also written here: 'Number 2'
+ The two look back at the racks.
+ These drawer thingies here have numbers on them, + maybe that's what they mean?
+ Isabelle presses the power button on number two. It starts blinking. + The device makes a loud clonk noise followed by a motor accelerating + inside. Clicking and more mechanical noises. The power switch stops + blinking and stays lit up.
+ The last step on the note is to press + ‘reset' and ‘load' and to enter something into the + terminal. They also wrote down a list of commands that might help us to + find and copy the manual, and ‘Good luck!'...
Isabelle pushes the buttons and they walk over to the terminal.

@@ -132,8 +143,9 @@ putting it back into its sleeve

- "Shhh." Isabelle gestures for Annie to be quiet. She whispers: - "Do you hear that?"
+ Shhh.
+ Isabelle gestures for Annie to be quiet. She whispers:
+ Do you hear that?
Footsteps. Annie nods. Someone is in the building - and probably heard them. Quickly, she puts the disk into her bag.

@@ -141,7 +153,7 @@ Opening and closing the door as quietly as possible, they sneak out of the room and back towards the stairs. The footsteps are coming closer.
- "Shit", Isabelle whispers.
+ Shit, Isabelle whispers.
They turn around and sneak to the other end of the hallway. It opens up into a room filled with crates that has small windows near the ceiling. The footsteps are making their way down the stairs. Annie reaches for @@ -152,10 +164,11 @@ struggles for a moment to get onto the crate. After she finally manages to get up, Isabelle pulls her through the window - not a moment too soon.
- "You, stop!", rephrase?? a man - yells at them from inside, "Stay where you are!"
+ You, stop!, + rephrase?? a man yells at them from inside, + Stay where you are!
They start running.
- "I'm gonna catch you." + I'm gonna catch you.

Isabelle runs ahead, leading Annie into a dark alley. She climbs onto a @@ -163,7 +176,7 @@ continue running on the ledge until reaching a wall at the end of the alley. Isabelle jumps, grabs hold of the railing at the top, pulls herself up, and climbs over it.
- "Wait here." She disappears.
+ Wait here. She disappears.
Annie looks around nervously. What if she was caught now?
A moment later, Isabelle returns holding a ladder. Annie climbs up and pulls the ladder up after herself. Isabelle takes it and stashes it on @@ -171,7 +184,9 @@ of the metro. The Central Square station is close by, they run towards it along the tracks. Just as they make their way onto the platform, the rails start ringing.
- Isabelle says with a smirk on her face: "I don't think he - expects our getaway vehicle to be yellow and red..."
+ Isabelle says with a smirk on her face: I don't + think he expects our getaway vehicle to be yellow and red... + alternative wording: Ketchup and mustard express + XD

diff --git a/ga-Who_Died_Today-Emily_intro.html b/ga-Who_Died_Today-Emily_intro.html index 7dc0994..9a02d7a 100644 --- a/ga-Who_Died_Today-Emily_intro.html +++ b/ga-Who_Died_Today-Emily_intro.html @@ -78,7 +78,8 @@

Emily turns around to find her older sister Lena sitting against the wall - tears running down her face. After a moment to fully wake up and - grasp the situation, she asks: "Who?"
+ grasp the situation, she asks:
+ Who?
Lena snivels and points to the ring on her finger. Dictionary to the rescue! Is that the right word? ... A grim but not uncommon way for days to begin lately. That leaves five diff --git a/html_resources/style.css b/html_resources/style.css index 6b0eaa4..5781534 100644 --- a/html_resources/style.css +++ b/html_resources/style.css @@ -82,6 +82,30 @@ span.paper_green { background-color: #D0DBA6; } +span.speech { + color: #303030; +} +span.speech::before { + color: black; + content: "\25b8"; +} +span.speech::after { + color: black; + content: "\25c2"; +} + +span.thought { + color: #303030; +} +span.thought::before { + color: black; + content: "\25b9"; +} +span.thought::after { + color: black; + content: "\25c3"; +} + .comment { font-style: italic; color: gray; diff --git a/notes/Readme.md b/notes/Readme.md index 591f992..92670f0 100644 --- a/notes/Readme.md +++ b/notes/Readme.md @@ -8,8 +8,8 @@ Notes to self: * official name: "Lunar Biosphere" * Double-check that I changed all references of Annie leaving the city to not imply this was planned. I changed my mind about the situation; it was something that came from plans going wrong. * quoted strings: - * treat literal speech and other quoted strings differently - * format literal speech differently from the rest of the paragraph - * format suggestion: use ▸◂ as quotes and a slightly different font style + * treat literal speech, literal thoughts, and other quoted strings differently + * format literal speech and literal thoughts differently from the rest of the paragraph * versions of this as span and paragraph * paragraph version needs to deal with the fact that speeches can have multiple paragraphs + * what is CSS property "quotes"?