She is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man.
- What's on your mind that you call now?
+ What's on your mind that you call
+ now?
Note to self: Improve this, it doesn't sound
right to me
- Uhhh...
+ Uhhh...
She makes a short pause.
- This might be a little bit weird but someone
+ This might be a little bit weird but someone
contacted me from a location called
"Cryo Facility 53". I wondered if you happen to know
where that is. or anything about it
- Cryo Facility? Haven't heard anyone talk
- about these in a while... Are you sure?
- Yes, it says here: Cryo Facility 53.
- What does he want?
+ Cryo Facility? Haven't heard anyone
+ talk about these in a while... Are you sure?
+ Yes, it says here: Cryo Facility 53.
+
+ What does he want?
Annie relays what Jack had told her about his situation and asks who
would be the right person to help him.
- That's a bit of a tricky question... These
- cryogenics facilities are outside the dome.
+ That's a bit of a tricky question...
+ These cryogenics facilities are outside the dome.
Missing dialog here: @@ -338,8 +340,8 @@ ok thats good
- The light of day, Annie thinks to herself, - what does it look like? + The light of day, Annie thinks to + herself, what does it look like? reword this
@@ -364,10 +366,10 @@ Tue, 2106-06-01, 20:12 AgriWorks Login:- Is that a yes or a no?, Annie wonders, + Is that a yes or a no?, Annie wonders, still slightly puzzled by the whole situation. She starts reading all that's still on the screen. - The light of day, she quietly says to + The light of day, she quietly says to herself.
diff --git a/02-Wake_Up-Jack_intro.html b/02-Wake_Up-Jack_intro.html index f1ec193..cf56bb5 100644 --- a/02-Wake_Up-Jack_intro.html +++ b/02-Wake_Up-Jack_intro.html @@ -2,14 +2,14 @@
- Ahh fuck! Jack exclaims in pain as he wakes
- up. He has a terrible headache. As he moves his hands up to hold his
- head, he realizes that his entire body hurts.
- Owwowwowwowwoww... Ouch!
- Emergency defrost complete. Entering low power
+ Ahh fuck! Jack exclaims in pain as he
+ wakes up. He has a terrible headache. As he moves his hands up to hold
+ his head, he realizes that his entire body hurts.
+ Owwowwowwowwoww... Ouch!
+ Emergency defrost complete. Entering low power
mode. announces an automated voice.
- He thinks to himself: Get it together, Jack! You
- knew this was gonna happen. You have trained for this. Where are the
+ He thinks to himself: Get it together, Jack!
+ You knew this was gonna happen. You have trained for this. Where are the
meds again? ...
@@ -36,15 +36,17 @@ – the usual Neotek equipment. He looks to the right: More preservation chambers. Instead of a wall, there's the bunker door – door is a bit of an understatement, it's a massive gate. - A small slither of light passes under it. These - fucking idiots... They didn't reseal it properly. + A small slither of light passes under it. + These fucking idiots... They didn't + reseal it properly. not sure if this is speech or a thought or both
He walks over to the door's control panel. The paint is flaking off
revealing the rust underneath. Jack attempts to press a couple buttons
- but they get stuck and nothing happens. Fuck.
+ but they get stuck and nothing happens.
+ Fuck.
He turns back to the inside of the bunker looking for tools,
contemplating the tradeoff between waking up a couple years too soon and
getting slowly poisoned by the air, and being locked inside a bunker due
@@ -57,10 +59,10 @@
few buttons to fully shut it down. The lamp in the ceiling turns off,
the door closes, the status lights turn off. After passing two other
empty preservaton chambers, he reaches the one that remains active.
- Hello Michelle.
+ Hello Michelle.
He checks the status lights of her chamber.
- I think I'm gonna leave you in there until I
- find a way out of here. Should be fine...
+ I think I'm gonna leave you in there
+ until I find a way out of here. Should be fine...
He continues past the remaining empty chambers to the back of the bunker.
@@ -75,21 +77,22 @@ There needs to be a mention of him trying to turn on a lamp but it only flickers for a short moment. He leans over the desk with the terminal and flips the power switch. - Bonk! Seems to work, at least. While waiting - for the tube to warm up, he walks over to the rack and sits down + Bonk! Seems to work, at least. While + waiting for the tube to warm up, he walks over to the rack and sits down on the floor in front of it. He inspects the status lights. - CPU is idle, serials are idle, primary hard drive - is powered up – all good. Secondary hard drive is powered down, - let's change that... He pushes the power button and hears the - spindle spinning up. The power button blinks. There is some intermittent - rattling from the drive, probably a shot - bearing. It takes an unusually long time for it to get up to - speed. Impatiently sitting there, Jack waits for the drive to be ready. - Clicking form the mechanism unlocking the heads followed by a ringing - scratching noise. Of course, he thinks, - quickly pressing the power button again. The scratching stops and the - spindle motor turns off. That's gonna be an - ugly head crash. He looks around for other ways to get the manual. + CPU is idle, serials are idle, primary hard + drive is powered up – all good. Secondary hard drive is powered + down, let's change that... He pushes the power button and + hears the spindle spinning up. The power button blinks. There is some + intermittent rattling from the drive, + probably a shot bearing. It takes an + unusually long time for it to get up to speed. Impatiently sitting there, + Jack waits for the drive to be ready. Clicking form the mechanism + unlocking the heads followed by a ringing scratching noise. + Of course, he thinks, quickly pressing + the power button again. The scratching stops and the spindle motor turns + off. That's gonna be an ugly head + crash. He looks around for other ways to get the manual. He could try calling someone, maybe the lines to <dome city> still work.
@@ -97,11 +100,12 @@ Not exactly excited by the prospect of calling random people, but not seeing another option, he reaches for the phone. It lifts off the wall with a quiet click and Jack begins to dial. He holds the receiver to his - ear - silence. Welp, that's that. + ear - silence. Welp, that's that. He puts it back on the wall.- I wonder what happened over the years... + I wonder what happened over the + years... He walks over to the the teleprinter and opens the lid to find that something has eaten most of the paper. He removes the remains and opens one of the cabinets under the desks. By some miracle, whatever ate the @@ -124,7 +128,7 @@ Welcome to INUX! $ █
- Over a hundred years, huh...
+ Over a hundred years, huh...
He types a few commands.
diff --git a/03-A_Simple_Errand-Annie_library.html b/03-A_Simple_Errand-Annie_library.html
index 2c579ac..1c844fb 100644
--- a/03-A_Simple_Errand-Annie_library.html
+++ b/03-A_Simple_Errand-Annie_library.html
@@ -22,8 +22,8 @@
- Next stop: Central Square
+ Next stop: Central Square
Annie looks up. That's the station she has to get off at. She only
needs to be at work in the afternoon so she decided to get that manual
for Jack.
@@ -71,30 +71,31 @@
Annie makes her way up the stairs and enters through the large wooden
doors. She walks up to the counter.
- Hello, how may I help you today?
+ Hello, how may I help you today?
The guy behind the counter smiles.
- Borrowing the next stack of fantasy books?,
- he asks.
- Uhm... Actually, no, Annie replies as she
- takes her library card and a piece of paper out of her bag.
- I have a quite unusual request. I am looking
+ Borrowing the next stack of fantasy
+ books?, he asks.
+ Uhm... Actually, no, Annie replies as
+ she takes her library card and a piece of paper out of her bag.
+ I have a quite unusual request. I am looking
for – she glances at the piece of paper –
- a manual for a B three three F Y dash A F bunker
- door.
+ a manual for a B three three F Y dash A F
+ bunker door.
The guy types into his terminal for a moment. Annie places her library
card on the counter. With a worried look, he turns back to her:
- I'm afraid, that it has recently been
+ I'm afraid, that it has recently been
classified. There is a note about terrorism in here.
- So there is no way to get it?
+ So there is no way to get it?
He musters her for a second, then he takes the card and scribbles
something on it before putting it back.
- I can check you against a list of people with
+ I can check you against a list of people with
security clearance. One moment, I'll get it.
He gestures towards the exit. Then, he turns around and walks towards a
door to the left, seemingly taking his sweet time. Annie gets the
message, grabs her library card and makes a swift exit. Just as she
leaves, she hears him call out to someone else:
- Dorothy, she left. What do I put on the list?
+ Dorothy, she left. What do I put on the
+ list?
Input on how to format this dialog is appreciated.
diff --git a/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html b/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html
index fefad53..8e7f7f6 100644
--- a/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html
+++ b/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html
@@ -91,33 +91,34 @@
the lines. Annie presses the button; the door opens.
- Hey, wait...
+ Hey, wait...
The guy had made his way to the door and looks directly at her.
It's him from behind the library counter.
- We're gonna take this one for a couple
+ We're gonna take this one for a couple
stations.
Annie steps aside and he gets on the train as well.
- My name is Lucas, nice to meet you.
- He extends his hand as the doors close.
- Annie.
- He probably knew that already, right?
- Sorry for being late.
- The hum of the motors sets in and the train begins to move.
- Perfect timing, I'd say.
- He makes a short pause before continuing quietly:
- So about that interaction we had earlier today
- - I assume you want to leave the dome?
- Not directly...
- Okay then disregard my question and we have never
- met.
- Wait. You say there is a way out of the dome?
+ My name is Lucas, nice to meet you.
- Well, there might be. Some friends of mine say there
- is.
+ He extends his hand as the doors close.
+ Annie.
+ He probably knew that already, right?
+ Sorry for being late.
+ The hum of the motors sets in and the train begins to move.
+ Perfect timing, I'd say.
+ He makes a short pause before continuing quietly:
+ So about that interaction we had earlier today
+ – I assume you want to leave the dome?
+ Not directly...
+ Okay then disregard my question and we have
+ never met.
+ Wait. You say there is a way out of the
+ dome?
+ Well, there might be. Some friends of mine say
+ there is.
Annie thinks about it for a moment. Before yesterday, she wasn't
even aware that life could exist outside the dome - and now she might
find out about a way to go there?
- Tell me more, she replies.
+ Tell me more, she replies.
They get off at a station near the city center - a place that is never
@@ -139,10 +140,10 @@
feels dense and depleted, and carries the smell of alcohol. Live
musicians are playing Idk? Music genre? Need ideas
on a small stage area in the corner.
- Hey Kate, I'll take a Braincell Rattler
+ Hey Kate, I'll take a Braincell Rattler
and my uhh... friend here looks like she needs a coffee.
- Okay. Going to the back room?
- Yeah.
+ Okay. Going to the back room?
+ Yeah.
Coffee sounds good... The back room? Annie raises an eyebrow. He opens a
door next to the counter and gestures her to follow.
They sit down at the table. Karl starts introducing people and some introduce themselves. Then, he continues talking about the group's mission:
-+
TODO: whole paragraph speech formatting - We are working on getting the city officials to - change their stance on some things. When the city was built, it was seen - as sort of a plan B for humanity in case things would get worse. + We are working on getting the city officials + to change their stance on some things. When the city was built, it was + seen as sort of a plan B for humanity in case things would get worse. It wasn't built as a place where we could go and hide forever in isolation. Over time, knowledge of the outside world stopped being an imagination of a possible bright future, and instead it became something @@ -181,14 +182,14 @@ Do you really want to go where the air you breathe is literal poison and die?'
-+
TODO: whole paragraph speech formatting
- My dad used to always say - and maybe this was naive
- hope on his part - that it would get better one day and that we could
- open up the airlocks and leave. That was many, many years ago. It's
- been over a century now since the city was sealed - even if it was naive
- hope on his part, we should at least take a look outside and see for
- ourselves what it's like.
+ My dad used to always say - and maybe this
+ was naive hope on his part - that it would get better one day and that
+ we could open up the airlocks and leave. That was many, many years ago.
+ It's been over a century now since the city was sealed - even if it
+ was naive hope on his part, we should at least take a look outside and
+ see for ourselves what it's like.
Voices of agreement all around the table. move
this outside of the speech paragraph
- I mean we have that manual at the library.
- says Lucas. It's just classified because they
- really don't want anyone to open or use the air locks.
+ I mean we have that manual at the
+ library.
+ says Lucas. It's just classified because
+ they really don't want anyone to open or use the air locks.
+
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key chain.
- If you want, you can try getting it - I can't
- because I disappeared from a birthday party with an excuse and they are
- probably waiting for me to be back.
+ If you want, you can try getting it - I
+ can't because I disappeared from a birthday party with an excuse
+ and they are probably waiting for me to be back.
He places the keys in the center of the table.
- Karl says: I would love to, but I'm afraid I
- can't run if things go south.
+ Karl says: I would love to, but I'm
+ afraid I can't run if things go south.
A bunch of other excuses from other people. Finally, Annie takes the
initiative:
- I could go. Anyone want to help me with this?
+ I could go. Anyone want to help me with
+ this?
Copyright © 2023 Jan Danielzick (aka. BodgeMaster) – All rights reserved.