'ja' Erosion: continue writing

ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html

@@ -30,8 +30,9 @@
   <span class="quote speech">You survived that?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">That was the least of my challenges.</span>
   <br />
-  He chuckles and briefly tells her how he found himself trapped inside
+  He chuckles and briefly tells her how he found himself trapped inside,
-  and that the people of the dome city helped him repair the door.
+  that one of the computer&apos;s hard drives is broken, and how he turned
+  to the dome city for help.
 </p>
 <p>
   Michelle&apos;s dizziness starts to go away and the burning sensation
@@ -61,7 +62,6 @@
   starting with his preservaton chamber breaking down. It takes him about
   an hour, including answering Michelles questions.
 </p>
-<p class="comment">ToDo: tie this together</p>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">How have you been dealing with food?
   I imagine the stockpile was already pretty low?</span><br />
@@ -88,19 +88,31 @@
   and puts it back in the oven to re-heat them.
 </p>
 <p>
-  <span class="comment">Idk they eat, guess I&apos;ll need to describe that
+  After the meal, they step outside and Michelle gets her first look
-  in a bit more detail... Michelle might be having a really good and really
+  around.<br />
-  bad time at the same time. Jack eats like three of them potatoes with
+  <span class="quote speech">Oddly familiar, and yet so different.</span>
-  roughly a ton of the dip. Then they get ready to leave.</span>
+  <br />
+  <span class="comment">the scene where Jack opens the door should
+  have a short description of the lay of the lands</span><br />
+  The two decide to walk up to a <span class="comment">crest? ridge?</span>
+  not far from them on the other side of the valley. Beyond it is Ivydale,
+  once a large city housing just over a million people &ndash; only one of
+  <span class="comment">who? whom? which?</span> remains to behold its
+  overgrown ruins.
+  <br />
+  Michelle says: <span class="quote speech">I mean I knew it already but
+  seeing it like this just hits differently.</span><br />
 </p>
 <p>
-  They step outside and, following what remains of the old path, start
+  <span class="comment">ToDo: tie this back together</span><br />
-  walking. It is narrow and winded, overgrown, and has partially
+  Following what remains of an old path, the two start making their way up
-  disappeared. Jack walks ahead, only half following the path, half making
+  the mountain above the bunker. The path is narrow and winded, overgrown,
-  it up as he goes. Michelle struggles to follow, slowly falling behind.
+  and has partially disappeared. Jack walks ahead, only half following it,
-  After a while, he stops abruptly, looking down at something, then up,
+  half making it up as he goes. Michelle struggles to follow, slowly
-  then down again. Then, he turns to Michelle who is catching up to him
+  falling behind. After a while, he stops abruptly, looking down at
-  and says: <span class="quote speech">Well, that could be a reason why
+  something, then up, then down again. Then, he turns to Michelle who is
+  just catching up and says:
+  <span class="quote speech">Well, that could be a reason why
   the uplink is down &ndash; it literally <i>is down</i>...</span>.
   Michelle reaches the edge and and sees what Jack had stopped for:
   A large <span class="comment">ravine? wash?</span> extends towards the