'pk' <Lena first contact>: revision, add a paragraph

pk--lena_first_contact.html

@@ -7,8 +7,8 @@
   parts and follows them. Annie follows not long after, carrying a stack of
   thick binders of documentation. They walk up the stairs and set their
   things down somewhere off to the side. Then, they go for round
-  two, fetching a generator, some tools, <span class="comment">two other
+  two, fetching a generator, two fuel canisters, a toolbox,
-  things</span> from the truck.
+  <span class="comment">something else</span> from the truck.
   <!--
     Things they will need later:
     - oscilloscope
@@ -23,55 +23,79 @@
   <span class="comment">They have tried cranking the dish around by hand
   at some point before this. The tilt mechanism is completely seized up,
   the pan mechanism spins freely and doesn&apos;t work.</span><br />
-  Jack begins to disassemble the gearbox for panning the dish around.
+  Jack begins to disassemble the gearbox in the floor that used to pan
-  Michelle looks up at the tilt mechanism and gets an idea.<br />
+  the dish around. Michelle looks up at the tilt mechanism and gets
+  an idea.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">James, help me up there.</span><br />
-  With his help, she jumps up to the dish and clings to its underside.
+  With his help, she jumps up to the lower side of the dish and clings to
-  From there, she climbs up to the center.<br />
+  a structural beam on its underside. From there, she climbs up to a thick
+  cable hanging near the center.<br />
   She calls down to James: <span class="quote speech">Can you pass me
   a screwdriver? Need a large flathead.</span><br />
-  He gets one from the toolbox.<br />
+  He grabs one from the toolbox.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Catch!</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Thanks.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Whoop... Thanks.</span><br />
-  Sitting on a thick cable hanging from the dish, she begins to remove
+  Sitting on the cable, she begins to remove the gearbox cover in front
-  the cover of the gearbox in front of her.<br />
+  of her.
-  Jack looks at her and says: <span class="quote speech">Be careful with
-  your fingers up there.</span>
 </p>
 <p>
-  After a while, she gets the cover loose and it falls towards her.
+  After a while, she gets it loose and it falls towards her.
   She struggles to keep her balance for a moment as the cover lands wedged
   between her legs and the central <span class="comment">post? beam?</span>
   holding the dish. With some effort, she manages to wrangle it to th other
   side of the cable.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">James, Annie, can you catch this? Careful,
   it&apos;s heavy.</span><br />
-  They do and Michelle turns her attention back to the gearbox in front of
+  The two stand across from each other and extend their arms. Michelle
-  her. It is completely dried out and the large gears appear to be stuck
+  lets go and they catch it. She turns her attention back to the gearbox
-  together with some dark brown gunk.<br />
+  in front of her. It is completely dried out and the large gears appear
+  to be stuck together with some dark brown gunk.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">I think this one just needs to be cleaned and
   lubricated.</span><br />
-  Jack says: <span class="quote speech">Wish I could say the same for down
+  Jack says: <span class="quote speech">Wish I could say the same...</span>
-  here...</span><br />
+  <br />
-  She looks at the gearbox Jack had been taking apart.
+  She looks down at the gearbox he is taking apart. One of the gears
-  One of the gears inside has been partially stripped of its teeth and
+  had been partially stripped of its teeth and another one is fractured
-  another one is broken. Jack has already removed one of the gears and
+  right through the middle. Jack has already removed some of the gears
-  is using a screwdriver as a pry bar for the next one.
+  and is using a screwdriver as a pry bar for the next one.<br />
-  <!-- something something "I'm not putting my fingers in there" -->
+  Michelle says: <span class="quote speech">You gonna break that
+  thing.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m sure as fuck not putting my fingers
+  in there.</span><br />
+  He walks over to the toolbox and grabs a much bigger one.
+</p>
+<p>
+  Michelle begins to scrape off some of the brown gunk but can't get the
+  gears to move. Meanwhile, Jack finishes taking his gearbox apart and
+  organizes the parts on the floor, laying them out in rows. She climbs
+  down and they discuss what to do next.<br />
+  Jack says: <span class="quote speech">This one could probably be welded
+  back together.</span><br />
+  He picks up the pieces of the split gear.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">No clue what to do about that one
+  though.</span><br />
+  He points to the one that had some of its teeth stripped.<br />
+  James asks: <span class="quote speech">Without the gears in there,
+  can&apos;t we just push the dish around?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Dunno, we can try &ndash; though it might
+  just be too heavy.</span><br />
+  <!-- They mount a log/beam to the outside of the lower part -->
+  <!-- no workie -->
 </p>
 <p>
   <span class="comment">missing section</span>
 </p>
 <p>
   The oscilloscope shows a thick wobbly line. Michelle slightly adjusts
-  the knob for the trigger frequency and the image turns into a continuous
+  the knob for the trigger frequency until the image turns into a
-  sine wave, slowly rolling to the left.<br />
+  continuous sine wave, slowly rolling to the left.<br />
   She says: <span class="quote speech">I think that&apos;s their carrier.
   It worked.</span><br />
   Jack flips a switch on the project box.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Ringing.</span><br />
   Michelle picks up the receiver and listens.<br />
-  <span class="quote non-speech">Beeeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeep.</span>
+  <span class="quote non-speech">Beeeeep.&emsp;&emsp;Beeeeep.&emsp;&emsp;
+  Beeeeep.&emsp;&emsp;Beeeeep.</span>
   <br />
   It takes a while for someone to pick up.<br />
   A female voice greets her: <span class="quote speech">Hello?</span><br />
@@ -79,8 +103,8 @@
   phone:
   <span class="quote speech">This is ground support facility 53. Do you
   hear me?</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Yes, I can hear you. So good to hear
+  <span class="quote speech">Yes, I can hear you. So good to hear a human
-  someone&apos;s voice.</span><br />
+  voice.</span><br />
   Jack hears it and says quietly: <span class="quote speech">And I thought
   we were the ones facing unexpected difficuties...</span><br />
   Michelle notices the carrier strength gradually dropping and says:
@@ -95,10 +119,11 @@
   She looks at the oscilloscope.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">... three minutes until the connection
   drops out.</span><br />
-  The voice on the other end quietly mumbles to herself:
+  The voice on the other end frantically mumbles to herself:
   <span class="quote speech">How&apos;s this thing work...</span><br />
   Michelle turns the receiver away from her mouth.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Jack, I need the manual.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Jack, I need the manual. Radio panel.</span>
+  <br />
   He opens it at one of the bookmarks and hands it over. The page depicts
   the control panel on the other end.<br />
   Speaking into the phone again, Michelle says: