06 Library At Night: revision

06-Library_At_Night.html

@@ -9,38 +9,42 @@
   flashlights.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Following the description Lucas had given, they find their way into a
+  Following the description Lucas had given, they find their way down to
-  small room in the basement. They close the door behind themselves and
+  the basement and into a small room. They close the door behind themselves
-  look around. To the left is a desk with a terminal and a bunch of small
+  and look around. To the left is a desk holding a terminal and a bunch of
-  devices connected together using many cables. The wall in front of them
+  small devices. Across from the door is a row of five racks almost as tall
-  is lined with racks that are almost as tall as the room itself and filled
+  as the room itself, filled with computer equipment. A thick trunk of
-  with computer equipment. To the right is a shelf with boxes.
+  cables comes out of a hole in the ceiling and leads to the center rack
+  where it splits up and the cables connect to a few panels in the top.
+  To the right is a shelf holding various boxes, stacks of flat, round
+  cases, and other random things.
 </p>
 <p class="comment">
   Again, request for formatting suggestions below...
 </p>
 <p>
+  <span class="comment">TODO: change Karl&apos;s note -&gt; Karl&apos;s
+  note<b>s</b></span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">I guess this is it. Let&apos;s take a look at
-  the instructions Karl gave you</span>, Isabelle says in a hushed voice.
+  Karl&apos;s note</span>, Isabelle says in a hushed voice.
   <br />
-  Annie pulls the note out of her bag.<br />
+  Annie pulls it out of her bag.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">First step is turning on the terminal...
+  <span class="quote speech">It says to find a terminal connected to the
-  Hey, Lucas said something about using a new floppy disk, can you search
+  computer first... By the way, Lucas said something about taking a new
-  for that?</span><br />
+  floppy disk from the shelf, can you search for that?</span><br />
-  Annie walks over to the terminal; Isabelle turns to the boxes on the
+  Annie goes over to the terminal; Isabelle turns to the boxes. Annie puts
-  shelf. Annie puts the keys on the desk and inspects the terminal for a
+  the keys on the desk and inspects the terminal for cables.<br />
-  power switch.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">There&apos;s a box with cookies back
   here.</span><br />
-  She pulls it out from behind the terminal. They giggle. <br />
+  She pulls it out from behind the terminal. <br />
   <span class="quote speech">I want one</span>, says Isabelle. <br />
-  Both end up taking a cookie before stashing the box behind the terminal
+  They giggle. Both end up taking a cookie before stashing the box behind
-  again.
+  the terminal again.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Annie flips the power switch. The terminal makes a bonk sound and a
+  Annie reaches around the side and flips the power switch. The terminal
-  crackling noise. She feels the hairs on her arm stand up as she
+  makes a bonk sound and a crackling noise. She feels the hairs on her arm
-  inadvertently moves it in front of the screen. <br />
+  stand up as she inadvertently moves it in front of the screen. <br />
   <span class="quote speech">Whoa...</span><br />
   The screen begins to light up.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">... I guess this is supposed to happen.</span>
@@ -50,70 +54,71 @@
   computer&apos;...</span>, she mumbles to herself.<br />
   She looks at the racks. They are mostly filled with what looks like
   large drawers with buttons on them. The one in the center is different.
-  It has a bunch of empty panels, some panels with buttons and lights on
+  It has a bunch of panels with all sorts of cables plugged into them, most
-  them, and some other devices.
+  of which are part of the trunk from the ceiling. Below that are a couple
+  panels with buttons and lights, and a few other devices.
 </p>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">I found you a new floppy disk.</span> Isabelle
   interrupts her.<br />
   She pulls a large, square, floppy thing, half-wrapped in a paper sleeve,
-  out of one of the boxes. She pulls the paper sleeve off. Turns out,
+  out of one of the boxes. She lifts it out of the sleeve. Turns out,
-  it&apos;s another sleeve made out of thin plastic with some openings
+  it&apos;s another sleeve made of thin plastic with openings that
-  that were previously covered by the paper. They reveal parts of the thin
+  were previously covered by the paper. The openings reveal something black
-  black circle inside.<br />
+  and shiny.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Lucas said to put it in the computer and push
   a lever down.</span><br />
   They look back and forth between the floppy disk and the computer until
-  Isabelle points to a device in the center rack with a large, flat slot
+  Isabelle points to a device in the center rack with a large, flat slot.
-  and says:<br />
+  <br />
   <span class="quote speech">It could fit in there.</span><br />
-  She walks up to it and inserts the disk. Then, she pushes on the
+  She walks up to it and pushes the disk into it. It fits perfectly. Then,
-  mechanism in the center of the slot. It latches in place.<br />
+  she pushes on the mechanism in the center of the slot. It latches in
+  place.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">What&apos;s next?</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">The note says to turn on the &apos;main power
+  <span class="quote speech">The note says to turn on the
-  switch&apos;</span>, Annie repeats while inspecting one of the panels
+  <span class="quote non-speech">main power switch</span></span> &ndash;
-  with buttons.<br />
+  Annie repeats while inspecting one of the panels with buttons &ndash;
-  <span class="quote speech">Maybe this one?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Maybe this one?</span>
   She points at a key switch. <br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Let&apos;s try.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Only one way to find out.</span><br />
-  Isabelle hands her the keys. One of them fits and turns.
+  Isabelle picks up the keys and hands them to her. One of them fits and
+  turns.
 </p>
 <p>
   Fans come on; they hear the loud noise of air rushing through the
   computer. Some of the lights and buttons light up. Annie looks at the
   note again: <br />
-  <span class="quote speech">&#8216;Spin up boot hard drive&apos;... Lucas
+  <span class="quote speech"><span class="quote non-speech">Spin up boot
-  has also written here: &apos;Number 2&apos;</span><br />
+  drive</span>... Lucas has also written here:
+  <span class="quote non-speech">HDD number two</span></span><br />
   The two look back at the racks.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">These drawer thingies here have numbers on
   them, maybe that&apos;s what they mean?</span><br />
-  Isabelle presses the power button on number two. It starts blinking.
+  Isabelle presses the power button on number two. It lights up and the
-  The device makes a loud clonk noise followed by a motor accelerating
+  button next to it starts blinking. She presses it. The device makes a
-  inside. Clicking and more mechanical noises. The power switch stops
+  loud clonk noise followed by a motor accelerating inside. Clicking and
-  blinking and stays lit up.<br />
+  more mechanical noises. The button stops blinking and stays lit up.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">The last step on the note is to press
   &#8216;reset&apos; and &#8216;load&apos; and to enter something into the
   terminal. They also wrote down a list of commands that might help us to
-  find and copy the manual, and &#8216;Good luck!&apos;...</span><br />
+  find and copy the manual, and
+  <span class="quote non-speech">Good luck!</span>...</span><br />
   Isabelle pushes the buttons and they walk over to the terminal.
 </p>
 <p>
   After a lot of typing into the terminal and figuring things out the hard
-  way - and maybe a couple more cookies disappearing - they find the
+  way &ndash; and maybe a couple more cookies disappearing &ndash; they
-  manual on one of the hard drives and manage to get it onto the floppy
+  find the manual on one of the hard drives and manage to get it onto the
-  disk. They follow the instructions to turn the computer off and Annie
+  floppy disk. They follow the instructions to turn the computer off and
-  puts the floppy disk back into its sleeve.
+  Annie takes the disk out of the computer.
-</p>
-<p class="comment">
-  might want to add that Annie takes the disk out of the drive before
-  putting it back into its sleeve
 </p>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">Shhh.</span><br />
   Isabelle gestures for Annie to be quiet. She whispers:<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Do you hear that?</span><br />
-  Footsteps. Annie nods. Someone is in the building - and probably heard
+  Footsteps. Annie nods. Someone is in the building &ndash; and probably
-  them. Quickly, she puts the disk into her bag.
+  heard them. Quickly, she puts the disk into her bag.
 </p>
 <p>
   Opening and closing the door as quietly as possible, they sneak out of
@@ -124,36 +129,38 @@
   into a room filled with crates that has small windows near the ceiling.
   The footsteps are making their way down the stairs. Annie reaches for
   one of the windows and opens it as quietly as possible while Isabelle
-  moves one of the crates under it - not quite as quietly. The person on
+  pushes one of the crates under it - not quite as quietly. The person on
   the stairs starts running. Isabelle jumps onto the crate and quickly
   climbs through the window. Annie, trying to follow her example,
   struggles for a moment to get onto the crate. After she finally manages
   to get up, Isabelle pulls her through the window - not a moment too soon.
   <br />
   <span class="quote speech">You, stop!</span>, <span class="comment">
-  rephrase?? </span> a man yells at them from inside,
+  rephrase!!</span> a man yells at them from inside,
   <span class="quote speech">Stay where you are!</span><br />
   They start running. <br />
   <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m gonna catch you.</span>
 </p>
 <p>
   Isabelle runs ahead, leading Annie into a dark alley. She climbs onto a
-  ledge on the side of a building, pulling Annie up after herself. They
+  ledge on the side of a building, helping Annie up after herself. They
   continue running on the ledge until reaching a wall at the end of the
   alley. Isabelle jumps, grabs hold of the railing at the top, pulls
   herself up, and climbs over it. <br />
   <span class="quote speech">Wait here.</span> She disappears. <br />
   Annie looks around nervously. What if she was caught now? <br />
-  A moment later, Isabelle returns holding a ladder. Annie climbs up and
+  A moment later, Isabelle returns with a ladder. Annie climbs up and
-  pulls the ladder up after herself. Isabelle takes it and stashes it on
+  pulls it up after herself. Isabelle takes it and stashes it on the other
-  the other side of the embankment. Annie finds herself between the tracks
+  side of the embankment. They find themselves on the metro tracks.
-  of the metro. The Central Square station is close by, they run towards
+  Annie looks around nervously.<br />
-  it along the tracks. Just as they make their way onto the platform, the
+  <span class="quote speech">We need to get off of here.</span><br />
-  rails start ringing. <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">It&apos;s fine, we&apos;ll hear any approaching
+  train long before we see it.</span> Isabelle points towards a close by
+  station and says <span class="quote speech">Central Square</span>.<br />
+  They run towards it along the tracks. Just as they make their way onto
+  the platform, the rails start ringing.<br />
   Isabelle says with a smirk on her face:
-  <span class="quote speech">I don&apos;t think he expects our getaway
+  <span class="quote speech">I don&apos;t think he expects us to have a
-  vehicle to be yellow and red...</span>
+  getaway vehicle...</span>
-  <span class="comment"> alternative wording: Ketchup and mustard express
-  XD </span>
 </p>
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