01 Wake Up: minor revision

01-Wake_Up-Jack_intro.html

@@ -44,12 +44,12 @@
 <p>
   He walks over to the door&apos;s control panel. The paint is flaking off
   revealing the rust underneath. Jack attempts to press a couple buttons
-  but they get stuck and nothing happens. A couple expletives and banging
+  but they get stuck and nothing happens. A bunch of expletives and some
-  on the panel later, he turns back to the inside of the bunker looking
+  banging on the panel later, he turns back to the inside of the bunker,
-  for tools, contemplating the tradeoff between waking up a couple years
+  looking for tools, contemplating the tradeoff between waking up a couple
-  too soon and getting slowly poisoned by the air, and being locked inside
+  years too soon and getting slowly poisoned by the air, and being locked
-  a bunker due to a bunch of apparent troglodytes unable to close a door
+  inside a bunker due to a bunch of apparent troglodytes unable to close a
-  properly... Doesn&apos;t matter, too late now.
+  door properly... Doesn&apos;t matter, too late now.
 </p>
 <p>
   As he passes each of the presevation chambers, he looks into them. Empty,
@@ -74,35 +74,34 @@
   improvise.</span>
 </p>
 <p>
-  He returns to the kitchen area and rummages through the drawers to find
+  Jack returns to the kitchen area and rummages through the drawers to find
   anything useful. He grabs a fork. <span class="quote speech">Works as a
   screwdriver, I guess...</span> He proceeds to jam the handle into a
   screw on one of the kitchen cabinets to see if it will turn. It does
   &ndash; barely. Using a slightly rusty knife sharpener
   <span class="comment">sharpening rod?</span> he begins the long and
   arduous process of making the fork handle more suitable as a screwdriver,
-  grinding its end over it over and over and over. He does this for a long
+  grinding the end over the sharpener over and over and over. After a
-  time. Over and over and over. His fingers start to go sore and he stops
+  while, he stops to inspect his work. <span class="quote speech">Meh,
-  to inspect his work. <span class="quote speech">Meh, could work.</span>
+  could work.</span> He tests it on the kitchen cabinet again.
-  He tests it on the kitchen cabinet again.
 </p>
 <p>
-  His newly gained screwdriver in hand, he walks back to the control panel
+  His newly gained screwdriver in hand, Jack walks back to the control panel
   for the door and unscrews it. After a bit of fiddling, the panel lifts
   out of the niche in the wall, pulling cables out of the box under it.
-  Holding the fork by the handle, he bends the <span class="comment">
+  He grabs the fork by the handle and bends the <span class="comment">
-  middle? inner?</span> prongs out of the way and attempts to bridge the
+  middle? inner?</span> prongs out of the way to bridge the control
-  control panel&apos;s switches using the outer prongs. Nothing happens.
+  panel&apos;s switches using the outer prongs. Nothing happens.
-  <span class="quote speech">Of couse it wasn't gonna be that easy.</span>
+  <span class="quote speech">Of course it wasn't gonna be that easy.</span>
   He starts to dig into the wires, attempting to find the fault, but
-  realizes after a while that the wiring is more complex than expected
+  realizes after a moment that the wiring is more complex than expected
   and he has no idea what he&apos;s doing.
   <span class="quote speech">Let&apos;s get the manual for this
   thing...</span> <span class="comment">He probably wouldn&apos;t say it
   like that while talking to himself.</span>
 </p>
 <p>
-  Jack returns to the desk with the terminal and flips the switch on the
+  Jack walks over to the desk with the terminal and flips the switch on the
   desk lamp. It flickers for a moment before turning off again. He flips
   the switch back and leans over the terminal to turn it on &ndash;
   Bonk! At least this seems to work. While waiting for the picture tube to