diff --git a/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html b/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html index f2c356d..4f2b555 100644 --- a/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html +++ b/05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html @@ -134,7 +134,7 @@ here in a little while.
- Lucas suddenly turns left and enters one of the bars. Annie follows him.
+ Lucas suddenly turns left and enters one of the bars. Annie follows.
The air feels dense and depleted, and carries the smell of alcohol. A guy
is playing ragtime on a piano in the corner. They make their way through
the crowded room towards the counter.
@@ -149,8 +149,10 @@
Lucas takes off his hoodie and hangs it on a hook on the wall. Annie does
the same with her jacket. She looks into the room: A bunch of people
sitting around a large, round table - to her surprise including her
- grandpa. Before she has time to voice her confusion, Kate sets their
- drinks on a small table next to a window connecting to behind the
+ grandpa.
+ You here? ...
+ Before she has time to further voice her confusion, Kate sets their
+ drinks on a small table in front of the window connecting to behind the
counter.
Here you go, enjoy!
Lucas walks up to it. Thank you!
@@ -158,27 +160,24 @@
Is there a better way to say this?
Thanks.
- Someone else to the grandpa: Addresses him with Karl. - ... - Karl to Annie: I guess I owe you an explanation. -
- They sit down at the table. Karl starts introducing people and some
- introduce themselves. Then, he continues talking about the group's
- mission:
+ A woman addresses her grandpa: Karl, you two
+ seem to know each other?
+ My granddaughter Annie – good that
+ you're here, we were about to discuss the call we had
+ yesterday.
+ He introduces Annie and the othe group members and everyone sits down
+ at the table. Karl ergreift das Wort:
TODO: whole paragraph speech formatting - We are working on getting the city officials - to change their stance on some things. When the city was built, it was - seen as sort of a plan B for humanity in case things would get worse. - It wasn't built as a place where we could go and hide forever in - isolation. Over time, knowledge of the outside world stopped being an - imagination of a possible bright future, and instead it became something - to be worried about. ‘What do you mean, you want to go there? - Do you really want to go where the air you breathe is literal poison - and die?' + I guess I owe you an explanation. + We are working on getting the gates to the dome + city opened. When the city was built, it was seen as sort of a + plan B for humanity in case things would get worse, not as a hiding + space for eternity. Over time though, knowledge of what happened outside + turned into fear and a bunch of what ifs, and any attempt to talk + sense into city officials fell on deaf ears.
TODO: whole paragraph speech formatting @@ -196,7 +195,7 @@ missing: more dialog to tie this together