language fixes, minor logic fixes

01 Unlikely Encounter (Annie intro).md

@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ What was that? Annie turns around.
 
 beep beep
 
-That came from the hallway. She steps outside her office to see where this noise is coming from. Everyone else had already gone home already and she was about to leave as well so this is weird.
+That came from the hallway. She steps outside her office to see where this noise is coming from. Everyone else had already gone home and she was about to leave as well so this is weird.
 
 beep beep
 
@@ -12,19 +12,19 @@ Following the sound, she walks down the hallway. She stops to listen.
 
 **beep beep**
 
-Behind that door to the left... Opening it reveals a staircase that leads down to the basement.
+Behind that door to the left... Opening it reveals the staircase down to the basement.
 
 **BEEP BEEP**
 
-The sound is clearer, she is close to it. Annie walks down the stairs and turns on the lights. She was only down here once before. Rows of shelves hold lots of documents, some standing up vertically in folders and boxes, others as horizontal stacks of paper. The room is dimly lit by a few light fixtures on the walls.
+The sound is clearer, it comes from down there. Annie walks down the stairs and turns on the lights. She rarely goes down here. Rows of shelves hold lots of documents, some standing up vertically in folders and boxes, others as horizontal stacks of paper. The room is dimly lit by a few light fixtures on the walls.
 
 **BEEP BEEP**
 
-She walks past the shelves. The noise is now very close. Behind the last shelf, sectioned off from the rest of the room, she finds a corner that looks like a small office. There is a large desk with a comfortable-looking though well-worn leather chair in front of it. Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was apparently placed there in the absence of a desk lamp. The desk itself is a mess (apart from a row of books that is neatly standing in front of the wall). Front and center is a terminal.
+She walks past the shelves. The noise is now very close. Behind the last shelf, sectioned off from the rest of the room, she finds a corner that looks like a small office. There is a large desk with a comfortable-looking though well-worn leather chair in front of it. Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was apparently placed there in the absence of a desk lamp. The desk itself is a mess (apart from a neatly organized row of books at the back of the desk). Front and center is a terminal...
 
 ##### BEEP BEEP
 
-The terminal is a device that looks like kind of a weird TV... It has a small screen to display text, a couple adjustment knobs, and a flat section with a bunch of rows of buttons that have letters and symbols on them - and, apparently, it’s the source of the beep sound. The reception desk has one of these things; they always use it to order new office supplies and for other important-sounding work...
+... and apparently it is the source of the beep sound. The terminal is a device that looks like kind of a weird TV. It has a screen to display text, a couple adjustment knobs, and a flat section with rows of buttons with letters and symbols on them. The reception desk has one of these things; they always use it to order new office supplies and for other important-sounding work...
 
 *An image of a dumb terminal with an integrated keyboard here would be nice here.*
 
@@ -209,4 +209,4 @@ As she reads the section with the bunker door and the phone number, she reaches
 
 Annie closes the door behind herself and locks it. As she takes a breath of the slightly humid air, she takes a step back onto the sidewalk to look at the clock above the entrance... 8:35 PM - the realization of how much time had passed hits: Normally she’d be home by now. She starts walking towards the metro station at the corner. The buildings here are similar to the ones in other parts of the city - three to four story houses painted in different colors - but they are lacking balconies and, instead of being homes, they mostly house offices. On the other side of the street is an embankment that holds the rails for the metro and beyond that is the outer wall of the dome. The street lights illuminating the area had already switched to their low-brightness mode for the night. She had only seen it like this a couple of times, it made the area look eerie.
 
-Annie reaches the corner. She looks left and right before crossing the street but not a single car is in sight. As she enters the station and walks up the stairs, she glances at the display - 21 minutes until the next train arrives, that’s a long wait... The station is completely devoid of life, nobody else is out here this late. Annie walks up to the vending machine at the upper end of the staircase - "OUT OF ORDER"... Hrm. Mildly frustrated, she sits down on one of the benches and and starts rummaging in her bag. She finds her headphones and puts them on. At the end of the cable is her walkman. She presses play and starts listening. *Yes, spell-checker, I know that Walkman is a name and should be capitalized. "Portable cassette player" just doesn’t sound nearly as elegant and I don't want it to be a Sony Walkman.*
+Annie reaches the corner. She looks left and right before crossing the street but not a single car is in sight. As she enters the station and walks up the stairs, she glances at the display - 21 minutes until the next train arrives, that’s a long wait... The station is completely devoid of life, nobody else is out here this late. Annie walks up to the vending machine at the upper end of the staircase - "OUT OF ORDER"... Hrm. Mildly frustrated, she sits down on one of the benches and and starts rummaging in her bag. She finds her headphones and puts them on. At the end of the cable is her walkman. She presses play and starts listening. *Yes, spell-checker, I know that Walkman is a name and should be capitalized. "Portable cassette player" just doesn’t sound nearly as elegant and I don't want it to be a Sony Walkman.*

02 Wake Up (Jack intro).md

@@ -2,11 +2,11 @@
 "Emergency defrost complete. Entering low power mode." announces an automated voice.  
 He thinks to himself: "Get it together, Jack! You knew this was gonna happen. You have trained for this. Where are the pills again? ..."
 
-Jack stays in his preservation chamber until he is fully awake. As he stands there, waiting for the pain killers to kick in, he looks out of the small window in the door. The bunker looks different from yesterday - not yesterday! That was how ever many years ago... Besides the point. It looks different. Not just "things have moved around different", it looks almost like a lost place. Unexpected but whatever...
+Waiting for the painkillers to kick in, Jack stays in his preservation chamber until he is fully awake. As he stands there, he looks out of the small window in the door. The bunker looks different from yesterday - not yesterday! That was how ever many years ago... Besides the point. It looks different. Not just "things have moved around different", it looks almost like a lost place. Unexpected but whatever...
 
-The pressurized air hisses in the lines as the door of the preservation chamber swings aside. Jack steps out into the bunker, breathes the musty air, and looks around. The light shining out of his chamber reveals the dirty floor. The table and chairs in front of him, as well as the kitchen on the other side of the room, are slightly dusty and all exposed screws on the furniture have rust. The red night lights on the ceiling are dimly illuminating the rest of the bunker. The wall is lined with other preservation chambers, all except two being open and powered down. He looks to the left: The remaining operational chamber, minicomputer in a half-height rack, desk with terminal, printer, phone on the wall, ... - not very interesting. He looks to the right: There’s the bunker door - door is a bit of an understatement, it’s a massive gate. A small slither of light passes under it. "These fucking idiots!" Jack thinks to himself. "They didn’t reseal it properly."
+The pressurized air hisses in the lines as the door of the preservation chamber swings aside. Jack steps out into the bunker, breathes the musty air, and looks around. The light shining out of his chamber reveals the dirty floor. The table and chairs in front of him, as well as the kitchen on the other side of the room, are covered in dust and all exposed bits of metal have rust. The red night lights on the ceiling are dimly illuminating the rest of the bunker. The wall is lined with other preservation chambers to either side of his. All except one of them being open and powered down. He looks to the left: Desks, a terminal, minicomputer in a half-height rack, printer, phone on the wall, ... - not very interesting. He looks to the right: There’s the bunker door - door is a bit of an understatement, it’s a massive gate. A small slither of light passes under it. "These fucking idiots!" Jack thinks to himself. "They didn’t reseal it properly."
 
-He walks over to the control panel next to the door. The paint is flaking off revealing the rust beneath. Jack attempts to press a couple buttons but they get stuck and nothing happens. "Fuck" he says out loud. Tools and manuals would have been just outside in one of the containers if he remembered correctly. "What a smart move to put them there", he thinks to himself as he turns back to the inside of the bunker. He contemplates the tradeoff between waking up a couple years too soon and having a really short life and being locked inside a bunker due to a bunch of apparent troglodytes who are unable to close a door properly... Doesn’t matter, too late now.
+He walks over to the door’s control panel. The paint is flaking off revealing the rust beneath. Jack attempts to press a couple buttons but they get stuck and nothing happens. "Fuck" he says out loud. He turns back to the inside of the bunker looking for tools, contemplating the tradeoff between waking up a couple years too soon and having a really short life, and being locked inside a bunker due to a bunch of apparent troglodytes who are unable to close a door properly... Doesn’t matter, too late now.
 
 *Outline of missing section:*
 

03 (Annie library).md

@@ -26,8 +26,11 @@ The guy behind the counter smiles.
 "I have a quite unusual request. I am looking for" - she glances at the piece of paper - "a manual for a B three three F Y dash A F bunker door."  
 The guy types into his terminal for a moment. Annie places her library card on the counter.  
 With a worried look, he turns back to her: "I’m afraid, that information has recently been classified. There is a note about terrorism in here."  
-After a second, his face clears up. He takes the card and scribbles something on it before putting it back.  
-"Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to write down your details. If you would please wait while I get the list..."  
-He winks at her and nods towards the exit. *missing reaction from Annie* Then, he turns around and walks towards a door on the left, seemingly taking his sweet time. Annie grabs her library card and drops it in her bag before making a swift exit. Just as she leaves, she hears him call out to someone else:  
-"Dorothy, she took her card and ran, what do I do?"  
-*heavy door falls shut, Annie hurries back to the train station and gets on the first train that comes, she takes out her library card and checks the note - such and such station, 10:30 PM*
+"So there is no way to get it?"  
+He musters her for a second, then he takes the card and scribbles something on it before putting it back.  
+"I can check you against a list of people with security clearance. One moment, I’ll get it."
+He gestures and nods towards the exit. Then, he turns around and walks towards a door on the left, seemingly taking his sweet time. Annie gets the message, grabs her library card and makes a swift exit. Just as she leaves, she hears him call out to someone else:  
+"Dorothy, she left. What do I put on the list?"  
+*heavy door falls shut, Annie hurries back to the train station and gets on the first train that comes, she takes out her library card and checks the note - such and such station, 10:30 PM*
+
+ 

ma Escape From Dome City.md

@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
-A train is coming. As Annie reaches the platform, she hears the sirens of the police cars coming closer. They are really close now. The first police car arrives at the station at the same time as the train pulls up at the platform. Annie stands still as she panics. Where could she go?
+Annie reaches the platform. The sirens of the police cars are really close now. A train is coming. The first police car arrives at the station at the same time as the train pulls up at the platform. Annie stands still as she panics. The police for sure won’t let the train leave before they found her. Where can she hide?
 
 "Annie!" Someone shouts her name. "Annie, get in here, run!"
 
-She looks up. The train turns out to be a single car. A single, slightly rusty car, painted in different colors than usual. Annie breaks out of her freeze and starts to run. Inside is only one person, the driver, swiftly walking to the other end. He wears a Neotek jacket - no doubt, that has to be Jack. While she’s still running towards the closest door, the motors start humming. Annie jumps inside as the train starts moving back in the direction it came from. The doors close just after leaving the platform.
+She looks up. *note she doesn’t "look up", she gets brought back to reality* The train turns out to be a single car. A single, slightly rusty car, painted in different colors than usual. *note: make it a theme that the metro is always one color and say this one is another* Annie breaks out of her freeze and starts to run. Inside is only one person, the driver, closing the window and turning away. He wears a Neotek jacket - no doubt, that has to be Jack. He runs to the other end of the train and Annie begins to move as well. While she’s still running towards the closest door, the motors start humming. Annie jumps inside as the train starts moving back in the direction it came from. The doors close just after leaving the platform.
 
 The train accelerates with a force stronger than anything she has ever felt before. The motors scream, the entire train rattles. While making her way to the front, she looks outside. The city flies by. The horn sounds as the train barrels though the next station. The platform appears, is visible for just long enough to see the astonished faces of the onlookers, and disappears again.