diff --git a/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html b/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html index 5ffdeb8..1757c92 100644 --- a/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html +++ b/ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html @@ -2,75 +2,103 @@

Erosion

- Morning Michelle!
+ Morning, Michelle!
Ugh.
She feels dizzy and her body is filled with a burning sensation. - She takes a step out of her preservation chamber and sits down on the - floor in front of it, putting her arms over her knees to rest her head. + She stumbles forward, out of her preservation chamber, and sits down + on the floor in front of it, putting her arms over her knees to rest + her head.
I'm gonna ... need a moment.
Water?
She raises her head and Jack hands her a glass. After taking a couple sips, she sets it down, unsure whether it helps or makes it worse, and rests her head again.
- Just let me sit here for a moment. + Just let me sit here for a while.

- After a while, she lifts up her head again:
+ A few minutes later, she lifts up her head again:
What year is it? ... and what's our mission?
- Twenty-one-oh-six. We don't have an - explicit mission, uplink's dead.
+ Twenty-one-oh-six. There is no explicit + mission, uplink's dead.
You're kidding.
Nope.
How'd you get woken up then?
- Technical failure.
+ Technical failure. My preservation chamber + died.
You survived that?
That was the least of my challenges.
- Jack briefly recounts his side of the events of the past - amount of time as well as some of the things - he had read in the logs or talked about with Annie. + He chuckles and briefly tells her how he found himself trapped inside + and that the people of the dome city helped him repair the door.

- Michelle's dizziness goes away and the burning sensation in her body - begins to fade. She slowly gets up, takes a few cautious steps forward to - the table, and leans on it.
- So? She looks at Jack. - What now? Any plans?
- I guess, for now, exploring the area and - taking a look at the uplink. I wanna see if we can fix it.
+ Michelle's dizziness starts to go away and the burning sensation + in her body begins to fade. She slowly gets up, takes a few cautious + steps forward to the table, and leans on it.
+ So? What now? Any plans?
+ I guess, for now, taking a look at the uplink. + I wanna see if we can fix it.
Michelle thinks for a moment.
- Sorry but I don't quite feel ready for - a hike like that. I'm gonna need a little bit longer.
- Take your time. + Sounds good – but I don't feel + quite ready for a hike like that.
+ Take your time, you just woke up.
+ She pulls back one of the chairs and sits down. Jack picks up her glass + and sets it down on the table.
+ Thanks.
+ She takes another sip.
+ The people who helped you, do you think + they'd help us with the uplink too?
+ Don't know, but they can't. + They're stuck inside the dome city and need our help.
+ How? Even if the tunnels have collapsed, + I can think of quite a few other ways to break out.
+ From what I know, they aren't physically + trapped inside, the people in charge just don't want anyone to + leave.
+ Jack sits down as well and retells everything that happened in detail, + starting with his preservaton chamber breaking down. It takes him about + an hour, including answering Michelles questions.

+

ToDo: tie this together

- After a short pause, Jack walks over to the kitchen area, saying: - If you want, I got some leftover baked potato - wedges...
- Ooh yeah, something to eat would be really - nice right now. Did you make your usual spicy dip to go with them? -
+ How have you been dealing with food? + I imagine the stockpile was already pretty low?
+ Actually not, the others seem to have mostly + hunted and foraged for themselves.
+ I wonder what they found to still be + edible...
+ Speaking of food, I got leftover baked + potatoes. Want some?
+ Now that you ask, I'm slowly getting + hungry. Did you make your usual spicy dip?
Yup.
- He places a small bowl filled with a dark red paste on the table. - Then, he takes the Backblech? with the - wedges and puts it in the oven to reheat them. + He gets up and walks over to the kitchen area, grabs a small bowl filled + with a dark red-ish paste, and sets it on the table.
+ I had to improvise a little because of + a distinct lack of fresh ingredients but I think it still turned out + pretty good.
+ Oh wow, that looks almost kinda scary. +
+ The flakes they left us just aren't + the same as fresh peppers. I had to add a lot to get even close + to the usual spiciness.
+ He grabs the Backblech? with potatoes + and puts it back in the oven to re-heat them.

- Michelle turns around and picks up the glass off the floor before sitting - down at the table. Idk they eat, guess I'll need to describe that - in a bit more detail... Then they get ready to leave. + in a bit more detail... Michelle might be having a really good and really + bad time at the same time. Jack eats like three of them potatoes with + roughly a ton of the dip. Then they get ready to leave.

They step outside and, following what remains of the old path, start walking. It is narrow and winded, overgrown, and has partially disappeared. Jack walks ahead, only half following the path, half making it up as he goes. Michelle struggles to follow, slowly falling behind. -

-

- After a while, Jack stops abruptly, looking down at something, then up, + After a while, he stops abruptly, looking down at something, then up, then down again. Then, he turns to Michelle who is catching up to him and says: Well, that could be a reason why the uplink is down – it literally is down....