'qa' Overdue Maintenance: Essentially rewrite a large portion of this chapter

This has been in the works for two weeks now and it still isn't done.
For now, I'm probably gonna turn my attention elsewhere.

ka-I_Like_Trains-finding_the_train.html

@@ -3,14 +3,15 @@
 <h1>I Like Trains</h1>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">Michelle! Guess what I found...</span><br />
-  She climbs through the gap between rotting cars on the adjacent track.
+  The two are exploring one of Ivydale&apos;s train yards. Michelle climbs
+  through between the rotting cars on an adjacent track, looking for him.
   <br />
   <span class="quote speech">No idea. Where are you?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Up here.</span><br />
-  Jack is standing on top of one of the metro trains. Michelle climbs onto
-  the link between cars, from there onto the the edge of the broken
-  windshield, and Jack helps her up to the rather sketchy-looking roof.
-  <br />
+  Jack is standing on top of <span class="comment">atop?</span> one of the
+  metro trains. Michelle climbs onto the link between cars, from there
+  onto the the edge of the broken windshield, and Jack helps her up to the
+  rather sketchy-looking roof.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Look, over there...</span><br />
   He points across the deteriorating trains, towards the outermost track of
   the overgrown train yard. A small roof &ndash; or in places what remains
@@ -23,13 +24,11 @@
 </p>
 <p>
   They climb back down and make their way over to one of the tank cars.
-  Jack clmbs onto the side of the car and attempts to use the ladder
+  Jack clmbs onto the end of the car and attempts to use the ladder
   leading to the top. It crumbles under his feet.
   <span class="quote speech">I guess I found the way down &ndash; hey, use
-  me as a ladder.</span> He leans against the tank and helps her on top of
-  it.
-  <span class="comment">Wording!! &quot;ladder&quot; and &quot;helps&quot;
-  reads weird twice in a row</span>
+  me as a ladder instead.</span> He leans against the tank and helps her
+  on top of it.
 </p>
 <p>
   Michelle inspects the lid. It&apos;s held on with large nuts.<br />
@@ -45,8 +44,8 @@
   <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m afraid to see what you call very
   rusty.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">This thing, for example.</span><br />
-  He hits the ladder with it, causing a large section of it to break off
-  and crumble. Then, he hands her the wrench. After a bit of fiddling, she
+  He hits the ladder with it, causing a large section to break off and
+  crumble. Then, he hands her the wrench. After a bit of fiddling, she
   manages to get a good grip on one of the nuts holding the lid in place
   &ndash; it doesn&apos;t budge.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Need a hammer or something?</span><br />
@@ -55,34 +54,37 @@
   Jack picks up a section of metal pipe and passes it to her. Putting it
   over the wrench for additional leverage, she pushes against it until the
   bolt snaps with a bang.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s certainly one of the ways to undo
-  a nut</span>, she says before moving on to the next one.
+  <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s certainly one of the ways to
+  unbolt this thing...</span> she says before moving on to the next one.
 </p>
 <p>
   One by one, she removes the other nuts. Some of them snap off, some
   unscrew with considerable force. She lets go of the pipe and attempts
   to lift the lid &ndash; it&apos;s still stuck in place. Using the wrench
-  as a hammer, she whacks it until it comes loose.<br />
+  as a hammer, she whacks it until it comes loose...<br />
   <span class="quote speech">There&apos;s nothing in here.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech"><i>Great.</i> I guess there are a bunch more
-  we can try...</span> <span class="comment">needs a better reaction, may
+  we can try.</span> <span class="comment">needs a better reaction, may
   want to state disappointment explicitly</span><br />
-  She jumps down onto the edge of the car.<br />
+  She jumps back down onto the end of the car.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Looks like we&apos;ll be climbing a bunch of
   tank cars today.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Let&apos;s see about that... Mind giving me
   the wrench for a moment?</span><br />
-  She hands it back to Jack. He uses it to knock against the wall of the
-  next tank.<br />
+  She hands it back to Jack. He jumps over the gap between cars and uses
+  it to knock against the wall of the next tank.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Sounds empty.</span>
 </p>
 <p>
   The third tank seems more promising. It only makes a dull <i>clunk</i>
-  when Jack hits it with the wrench. He helps Michelle on top again.
+  when Jack hits it with the wrench. Michelle climbs on top again.
   The nuts on this one come off more easily and it doesn&apos;t take
   long until she lifts the lid.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Jackpot! Smells like diesel.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Stupid idea but I need to show you
+  <span class="quote speech">Jackpot!</span> She sniffs the smell coming
+  off the liquid inside. <span class="quote speech">Smells like
+  diesel.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Nice! Let&apos;s find a truck or something
+  to drive around in... Wait, stupid idea but I need to show you
   something.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Oh no, what are you up to again?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Nothing in particular... Wanna follow me for a

qa-Overdue_Maintenence-power_station.html

@@ -1,70 +1,121 @@
 <!DOCTYPE html><html><head><title> Overdue Maintenence </title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="html_resources/style.css"></head><body><a href="index.html"><button class="back">&lt;</button></a>
 <h1> Overdue Maintenance </h1>
 <p>
-  Jack parks the truck just before the exit of a tunnel and they get out.
-  Roaring water echoes from somewhere deep below. Annie grabs her bag and
-  goes ahead. The tunnel wall to the right features doors, large gates,
-  and windows that allow a peek into abandoned offices, storage spaces, and
-  control rooms. The end of the tunnel connects to a balcony with rusted
-  metal walkways going to either side, extending into a narrow ravine.
-  She steps onto it, making sure to keep her distance to the rusty railing,
-  and looks around. The walkway to the right connects to the top of a dam
-  blocking the ravine. A couple bushes, flowers, and a small tree grow
-  there, partially concealing the rusty <span class="comment">armatures?
-  </span> and the wall is green from moss and small ferns. Water flows
-  over the spillway, falling into the depths below where it joins a
-  torrent of water rushing out of two big pipes at the bottom of the
-  ravine. The other walkway leads to a freestanding staircase going all
-  the way down.
+  Jack parks the truck just before the exit of a tunnel and the four get
+  out. Roaring water echoes from somewhere in the distance. Annie grabs
+  her bag and follows the others towards the end of the tunnel. The wall
+  to the right features doors, large gates, and a few windows that allow
+  a peek into abandoned offices, storage spaces, and a machine shop.
+  The end of the tunnel connects to a large balcony extending into
+  a narrow ravine with rusted metal walkways going to either side.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Jack walks up next to her, grabbing hold of the railing, trying to
-  shake it but it doesn't budge.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Looks like it&apos;s gonna hold.</span><br />
-  He turns to the right and steps onto the walkway before having an idea.
-  He turns to Annie and Michelle:<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Ladies first.</span><br />
-  While Annie is still thinking about a response, Michelle&apos;s response
-  is immediate:<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Thanks but you can go ahead.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">You two are lighter though.</span>
-</p>
-<p class="comment">
-  They walk to the dam, look into the windows
-</p>
-<p class="comment">
-  Some events have changed, this needs to be tied together again.
+  They walk onto it and take a look around: The walkway to the left
+  goes to a freestanding staircase tower that leads down and is just
+  as rusty as the walkway itself. The walkway to the right connects
+  to the top of a concrete dam blocking the ravine. A couple bushes,
+  flowers, and a small tree grow there, partially hiding rusty cranks
+  and levers, and the dam is green from moss and small ferns growing
+  all over its side. Water flows over the spillway, falling into the
+  depths below. To the right of the dam and walkway, inset into
+  the same side of the ravine as the tunnel exit, is a wall with
+  a front of windows.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Annie, check this out!</span><br />
+  Jack gestures for her to come to the railing. She hesitates.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">That railing is gonna hold, yeah?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Idunno?...</span> He attempts to push
+  <span class="comment">shove?</span> it and bangs agains it &ndash;
+  it doesn&apos;t budge. <span class="quote speech">Probably?</span><br />
+  She walks over and cautiously leans on it to peer down. The water
+  flowing over the spillway joins a torrent of water rushing out of
+  two big pipes deep below, at the bottom of the ravine.
 </p>
 <p>
-  <span class="quote speech">Annie?</span> Michelle calls
-  <span class="comment">?</span> her. They are standing by one of the doors
-  in the tunnel wall. Jack pulls a wire through the latch and opens it.
-  Inside is the main control room. The wall to the right is lined with
-  metal cabinets that have levers, buttons, switches, and large gauges on
-  them. The wall to the left features a front of windows, allowing a view
-  of the spillway and the top of the dam. Some of the windows have cracks
-  but somehow none are broken. In front of the windows is a collection of
-  random furniture, mostly desks and chairs. The center of the room is
-  taken up by a large console with more buttons, switches, and gauges that
-  is facing the windows and an opening in the floor covered by a thick
-  glass pane. They roam around the room for a moment. Annie looks outside,
-  admiring the flowering lilypads floating in the water that is held back
-  by the dam.
+  Michelle and James go ahead, using the walkway towards the dam.
+  About half-way, as Michelle walks onto the next section of walkway,
+  it starts making scary <span class="comment">foreboding?</span> creaking
+  noises. The moment James reaches it, the creaking turns into cracking
+  and the panel of <span class="comment">grid floor</span> beings
+  to give out underneath his feet. He grabs on to one of the railings and
+  quickly <span class="comment">hops? Idk some word between &quot;step&quot;
+  and &quot;jump&quot;</span> onto the beam holding it, leaving the
+  section of floor barely hanging on.<br />
+  Michelle asks: <span class="quote speech">You okay?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Yeah &ndash; less so the floor...</span>
+  <br />
+  The two walk the rest of the way across, meanwhile Annie and Jack stay
+  on the balcony.
+</p>
+<p class="comment">TODO: Change this so Michelle and James explore the
+dam first, then turn their attention to the windows.</p>
+<p>
+  After the <span class="comment">Aufregung?</span> dies down, Michelle
+  and James start looking around.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Would you look at that!</span><br />
+  Michelle is looking through the windows. A few of them have cracks but
+  most are somehow intact.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">I think I found what we&apos;re looking
+  for.</span><br />
+  Jack asks: <span class="quote speech">The control room?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Yea, it&apos;s right here.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Guess we&apos;re gonna have to climb
+  across...</span><br />
+  Annie says: <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m not doing that.</span>
+  <br />
+  James walks up to one of the windows saying:
+  <span class="quote speech">Looks like there might be a way back to
+  the tunnel from inside. We could let you in that way.</span><br />
+  Jack replies: <span class="quote speech">That would work
+  but we probably don&apos;t wanna break these windows.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Nobody said anything of
+  <i>breaking</i>...</span><br />
+  James takes a screwdriver out of his pocket. He jams it inbetween
+  the window and its frame, then quickly pulls on it. The window jumps
+  open with a bang.<br />
 </p>
 <p>
-  Michelle asks: <span class="quote speech">Jack, what&apos;s the status
-  on that dome city you&apos;re building? You guys only have two years to
-  finish that project.</span><br />
+  Jack and Annie are waiting in the tunnel next to a door.
+  The handle moves down and they hear the deadbold retracting with
+  a click. The door creaks as it gets pulled inward, revealing a hallway.
+  Michelle is on the other side, leading the way. James is standing in
+  a door to the left, holding it open. They go through and enter the
+  control room, a somewhat large room packed with equipment. Across the
+  room is the wall with the window front, allowing a view of the spillway
+  and the top of the dam. In front of it is a random collection of
+  electronics and furniture, mostly desks and chairs and terminals,
+  <span class="comment">zusammengeschoben? piled up?</span> for storage.
+  In the center is a large
+  console with more buttons, switches, and gauges that is facing the
+  windows and an opening in the floor behind it, covered with a thick
+  glass pane.
+  The wall to the left is lined with metal cabinets with buttons,
+  switches, large gauges and levers on them.
+  The wall to the right is taken up by storage
+  <span class="comment">cabinets? the drawer thingies...</span>
+  and an assortment of large devices and contraptions.
+</p>
+<p class="comment">TODO: They take a brief look at the control room
+and then climb outside onto the dam, returning to the control room
+afterwards.</span>
+<p>
+  <span class="comment">This needs to be tied together again as the
+  beginning of the chapter has been rewritten.</span>
+  They roam around the room for a while. Annie looks outside, admiring
+  the flowering lilypads floating in the water held back by the dam.
+  Meanwhile, Michelle looks at an old calendar.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Jack, what&apos;s the status on that dome
+  city you&apos;re building? You guys only have two years to finish that
+  project.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Oh no, I guess we&apos;re gonna have to slack
   less while waiting for bureaucracy to take its course.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Look, the power lines are gonna get hooked up
+  <span class="quote speech">The power lines are gonna get hooked up
   to the battery bank in a couple days. Aren&apos;t you excited for
-  that?</span><br />
+  progress?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Not my department but I sure hope we&apos;re
-  no longer gonna need these portable batteries down there. Having a working
-  power grid is gonna be so nice.</span><br />
-  They are looking at a calendar on the wall and laughing. It shows October
-  1991 with a few entries and crossed-off days.
+  no longer gonna need these portable batteries down there. Having a
+  working power grid is gonna be so nice.</span><br />
+  They are laughing. The calendar shows October 1991 with a few entries
+  and crossed-off days.
 </p>
 <p>
   Jack looks at a clipboard that was placed on the control panel on the
@@ -72,12 +123,12 @@
   <span class="quote speech">The next maintenence expedition is scheduled
   for 2011... I don&apos;t think anyone ever stepped foot in here after
   Sunside&nbsp;Cove was sealed off.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">It wouldn&apos;t surprise me.</span> Annie
-  turns around and leans against the center console.
-  <span class="quote speech">Apart from a small group, the entire city is
+  Annie turns around and leans against the center console.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">It wouldn&apos;t surprise me. Many people are
   legitimately scared of the outside world.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">I mean they&apos;re probably right, the
-  outside world is dangerous. Look down, by the way.</span><br />
+  outside world is pretty dangerous. Watch your step, by the way...</span>
+  <br />
   <span class="quote speech">Whoa!</span><br />
   She stumbles backwards. Without noticing it, she had walked onto the
   glass pane. It allows a view down into a hall filled with machinery.
@@ -95,7 +146,7 @@
 <p>
   Jack turns the key and the gate starts to move up, scrathcing and
   squeeking as it does, revealing a bunch of crates. About half-way
-  up, it gets stuck, making a buzzing noise. Jack lets go of the key, it
+  up, it gets stuck, making a buzzing noise. He lets go of the key and it
   stops. They duck under the gate and look around. They find themselves in
   a warehouse much larger than the gate and windows facing the tunnel would
   lead to assume.<br />