05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html

@@ -85,25 +85,26 @@
   station. The platform is empty except for a shady figure in a hoodie
   leaning against the wall, observing the train from under his hood. She
   looks at the clock in the station: 10:34 PM - a bit late. As soon as he
-  notices her, he starts walking up to the train. The pressurized air for
-  the doors hisses in the lines. Annie presses the button; the door opens.
+  notices her, he steps away from the wall and walks up to the train.
+  <span class="comment"> Is there a more elegant way to say that he stops
+  leaning on the wall? </span> The pressurized air for the doors hisses in
+  the lines. Annie presses the button; the door opens.
 </p>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">Hey, wait...</span><br />
-  He had made his way to the door and looks directly at her. It&apos;s the
-  guy from behind the library counter. <br />
+  The guy had made his way to the door and looks directly at her.
+  It&apos;s him from behind the library counter. <br />
   <span class="quote speech">We&apos;re gonna take this one for a couple
   stations.</span><br />
-  Annie steps aside and he gets on. <br />
-  <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m Lucas, nice to meet you.</span> He
-  extends his hand.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Annie.</span> He probably knew that already,
-  right?<br />
-  The door chime sounds and the doors close.<br />
+  Annie steps aside and he gets on the train as well. <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">My name is Lucas, nice to meet you.</span>
+  <br />
+  He extends his hand as the doors close. <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Annie.</span><br />
+  He probably knew that already, right?<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Sorry for being late.</span><br />
-  The hum of the motors sets in and the train begins to move.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Perfect timing, I&apos;d say. We were gonna
-  take this one anyway.</span><br />
+  The hum of the motors sets in and the train begins to move. <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Perfect timing, I&apos;d say.</span><br />
   He makes a short pause before continuing quietly:<br />
   <span class="quote speech">So about that interaction we had earlier today
   &ndash; I assume you want to leave the dome?</span><br />
@@ -127,17 +128,18 @@
 </p>
 <p>
   The streets are alive with people, seeminly few of them purposefully
-  moving in a specific direction; most are just meandering from bar to
-  bar. The street they are walking down is illuminated by strings of lights
-  hanging from the buildings and between street lights. The muffled bass of
-  techno is in the air. She enjoys the atmosphere, she hadn&apos;t been
-  here in a little while.
+  moving in a specific direction; most of them are just meandering from
+  bar to bar. The street they are walking down is illuminated by strings
+  of lights hanging from the buildings and between street lights. The
+  muffled bass of techno coming from one of the buildings is in the air.
+  She enjoys the atmosphere, she hadn&apos;t been here in a little while.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Lucas suddenly turns left and enters one of the bars. Annie follows him.
-  The air feels dense and depleted, and carries the smell of alcohol. A guy
-  is playing ragtime on a piano in the corner. They make their way through
-  the crowded room towards the counter.<br />
+  Lucas turns left and enters one of the bars, Annie still following him.
+  They make their way through the crowded bar towards the counter. The air
+  feels dense and depleted, and carries the smell of alcohol. Live
+  musicians are playing <span class="comment"> Idk? Music genre? Need ideas
+  </span> on a small stage area in the corner. <br />
   <span class="quote speech">Hey Kate, I&apos;ll take a Braincell Rattler
   and my uhh... friend here looks like she needs a coffee.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Okay. Going to the back room?</span><br />
@@ -149,20 +151,20 @@
   Lucas takes off his hoodie and hangs it on a hook on the wall. Annie does
   the same with her jacket. She looks into the room: A bunch of people
   sitting around a large, round table - to her surprise including her
-  grandpa. Before she has time to voice her confusion, Kate sets their
-  drinks on a small table next to a window connecting to behind the
-  counter.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Here you go, enjoy!</span><br />
-  Lucas walks up to it. <span class="quote speech">Thank you!</span><br />
-  Annie takes a moment to process the situation.
-  <span class="comment">Is there a better way to say this?</span><br />
+  grandpa. <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Grandpa Karl?</span>
+  <span class="comment">Language intuition question: Is this how one would
+  realistically refer to their grandpa?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Hi Annie!</span>
+  <span class="comment">TODO: Fix this</span><br />
+  Before she has time to voice her confusion, they get interrupted: <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Here you go, your drinks. Enjoy!</span><br />
+  Lucas walks up to the window that connects to behind the counter. <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Thank you!</span><br />
+  Annie takes a second to regain her composure. <span class="comment">
+  I don&apos;t think this is a great way to say that, Idk. </span>
   <span class="quote speech">Thanks.</speech>
 </p>
-<p class="comment">
-  Someone else to the grandpa: Addresses him with Karl.
-  ...
-  Karl to Annie: I guess I owe you an explanation.
-</p>
 <p>
   They sit down at the table. Karl starts introducing people and some
   introduce themselves. Then, he continues talking about the group&apos;s

06-Library_At_Night.html

@@ -2,10 +2,10 @@
 
 <h1> Library At Night</h1>
 <p>
-  11:30 PM &ndash; Isabelle and Annie find themselves at the side entrance
-  to the library. They try a couple keys before finding the right one and
-  the door swings open with a quiet squeaking noise. The air inside is warm
-  and dry. They close the door behind themselves and turn on their
+  11:30 PM - Isabelle and Annie find themselves at the side entrance to
+  the library. They try a couple keys before finding the right one. The
+  door swings open with a quiet squeaking noise. The air inside is warm
+  and dry. The door closes and latches behind them. They turn on their
   flashlights.
 </p>
 <p>
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
 </p>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">I guess this is it. Let&apos;s take a look at
-  the instructions Karl gave you</span>, Isabelle says in a hushed voice.
+  the instructions Karl gave you.</span> Isabelle says in a hushed voice.
   <br />
   Annie pulls the note out of her bag.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">First step is turning on the terminal...
@@ -59,8 +59,8 @@
   She pulls a large, square, floppy thing, half-wrapped in a paper sleeve,
   out of one of the boxes. She pulls the paper sleeve off. Turns out,
   it&apos;s another sleeve made out of thin plastic with some openings
-  that were previously covered by the paper. They reveal parts of the thin
-  black circle inside.<br />
+  that were previously covered by the paper containing a black, glossy
+  circle. <br />
   <span class="quote speech">Lucas said to put it in the computer and push
   a lever down.</span><br />
   They look back and forth between the floppy disk and the computer until