05 -> 06, 06 -> 07: make space for new chapter

02-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html

@@ -34,18 +34,25 @@
 </p>
 <p>
   The sound is clearer, it comes from down there. Annie walks down the
-  stairs and turns the lights on. She rarely goes to the basement, usually
+  stairs and flips the light switch. A few light fixtures on the walls
-  just to add to the piles of paperwork on the rows of shelves, but she had
+  dimly illuminate the rows of shelves packed with binders, boxes, and
-  no idea there was anything other than the archive down here.
+  loose stacks of paper.
 </p>
 <p class="strong">
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
-  The room is dimly lit by a few light fixtures on the walls. Looking
+  She rarely goes down here, usually just to add to the piles of
-  through between the rows of binders, boxes, and loose stacks of paper,
+  paperwork in the archive, but she had no idea there was anything else
-  she notices a small dark area in the back of the room. She walks towards
+  in the basement.
-  it.
+</p>
+<p class="strong">
+  beep beep
+</p>
+<p>
+  Looking through the shelves, she notices a small dark area in the back
+  of the room that seems to be where the noise comes from. She walks
+  towards it.
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   beep beep
@@ -53,37 +60,37 @@
 <p>
   The noise is now very close. Behind the last shelf, sectioned off from
   the rest of the room, she finds what looks to be a small office. There
-  is a large wooden desk with a comfortable-looking though well-worn
+  is a large wooden desk with a comfortable-looking, though well-worn
   leather chair in front of it. Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was
   apparently placed there in absence of a desk lamp. The desk itself is
-  a mess, apart from a neatly organized row of books towards the wall,
+  a mess, apart from a neatly organized row of books towards the wall.
-  holding all sorts of cables and other things. Front and center is a
+  The rest is covered with all sorts of tools, cables and devices.
-  terminal...
+  Front and center is a terminal...
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP
 </p>
 <p>
-  ... and apparently it is the source of the beep sound. She had never
+  ... and, apparently, that is the source of the beep sound. She had never
   used one before but taking a quick look can&apos;t hurt &ndash; and
-  besides, this beeping is slowly getting on her nerves. She walks up to
+  besides, this beeping is slowly getting on her nerves. She begins
-  it and begins to inspect it... <span class="comment">wording!!</span>
+  inspecting it...
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP
 </p>
 <p>
-  ... ugh. That&apos;s kinda loud. The terminal looks like kind of a weird
+  ... ugh. That&apos;s kinda loud.&emsp; The terminal looks like kind of
-  TV. It has a screen to display text, a couple adjustment knobs, and a
+  a weird TV. It has a screen to display text, a couple adjustment knobs,
-  flat section with rows of buttons with letters and symbols on them. The
+  and a flat section with rows of buttons with letters and symbols on them.
-  reception desk has one of these things; they always use it to order new
+  The reception desk has one of these things; they always use it to order
-  office supplies and for other important-sounding work...
+  new office supplies and for other important-sounding work...
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP
 </p>
 <p>
-  The text on-screen flickers.
+  The text on the screen flickers.
 </p>
 <pre class="terminal">
 Hello, anyone there?
@@ -115,27 +122,33 @@ Type reply: hello&#9608;
 
   The buttons have a very satisfying feel and sound to them - unlike the
   beeping noise which is ...  now gone. It was unpleasantly loud and
-  annoying.
+  annoying. She looks for a way to separate words. She tries that wide
+  button with
+  <span class="quote non-speech">S&emsp;P&emsp;A&emsp;C&emsp;E</span>
+  written on it &ndash; that worked, makes sense.
 </p>
 <pre class="terminal">
-i am going to get help
+Type reply: hello i am going to get help
 
 Thank you. Appreciate it.
 </pre>
 <p>
   That took a while to... type?... Is that the word? The rows of buttons
-  are arranged in a strange order... Annie looks around. Lots of cables,
+  are arranged in a strange order...
+</p>
+<p>
+  Annie looks around. Lots of cables,
   a pile of paper, an empty cup, some pens and pencils, a screwdriver and
   other tools, a rubber duck &ndash; what an odd place to find a rubber
   duck... A phone! She picks it up &ndash; no dial tone. Weird. Maybe, it
-  isn&apos;t connected. She looks on the floor and, sure enough, there is
+  is unplugged. She looks on the floor and, sure enough, there is the cable
-  the plug &ndash; not for much longer as she finds a phone socket and
+  &ndash; not for much longer, as she finds a phone socket and plugs it in.
-  plugs it in. Strange electrical noises. She tries to dial a number but
+  Strange electrical noises. She tries to dial a number but
   nothing happens. She drops the receiver on the cradle and turns back to
-  the terminal. A couple random characters appear.
+  the terminal. A couple random symbols have appeared.
 </p>
 <pre class="terminal">
-%s;  i cant call anyone the phone is only making weird noises
+%s;  i cant call anyone the phone is making weird noises
 
 This modem is probably on the same line. I can disconnect for a while and
 dial in again in a bit.
@@ -161,37 +174,36 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
   his time at the power company. So she dials his number...
 </p>
 <p>
-  Annie is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man. After
+  Annie is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man. After a short
-  <span class="comment">a short exchange of &quot;Hello, how are
+  exchange of <span class="comment">&quot;Hello, how are you?&quot; /
-  you?&quot;</span>, she begins to explain the situation. He interrupts her
+  pleasantries</span>, she begins to explain the situation. He interrupts
-  while relaying what Jack had written:<br />
+  her while relaying what Jack had written:<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Cryo&nbsp;Facility? Are you sure?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Yes, it says here: Cryo Facility 53.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Well that makes it very interesting.
-  Unfortunately, we can&apos;t get there. These cryogenic facilities are
+  Unfortunately, these cryogenic facilities are outside the dome. We
-  outside the dome.</span><br />
+  can&apos;t get there.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">So there is no way we can help him?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Outside? How&apos;d he get there?</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Well not directly. Facility 53 does happen to
-  be on the mountain above Sunside&nbsp;Cove, but it isn&apos;t connected
-  to the dome.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">How did he get there then?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">He ... didn&apos;t. He&apos;s been there from
   the start.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">How?</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Cryogenic sleep - it&apos;s a way to preserve
+  <span class="quote speech">They called it cryogenic sleep - essentially,
-  people for a long time by essentially freezing them. It was thought to be
+  people were frozen so they could be woken up some time in the far future.
-  impossible for a long time but they made it work just before the
+  It was thought to be impossible but they made it work just before the
   apocalypse happened.</span>
   <br />
-  <span class="quote speech">He&apos;s one from the old world?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">You mean he&apos;s one from
+  the old world?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">If he is who he says he is, then yes, almost
+  certainly. I kinda wanna talk to this guy. If he gives you a number,
+  would you mind passing it along?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Sure, can do.&emsp;&emsp;... So there&apos;s
+  no way we can help him?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Well, at least not directly. That said, the
+  people in these cryo facilities are trained for all sorts of things,
+  maybe we can help him help himself.</span>
 </p>
 <ul>
-  <li class="comment">
-    the dialog also needs to say that Karl wants to get in touch with Jack
-  </li>
-  <li class="comment">
-    hint at the possibility to go outside?
-  </li>
   <li class="comment">
     ensuing Annie Jack conversation needs to be modified taking into
     consideration that Karl wants to contact Jack (also notes/story and
@@ -199,18 +211,18 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
   </li>
 </ul>
 <p>
-  Slowly, she sets the receiver back on the cradle, pondering over what she
+  The conversation ends and Annie slowly sets the receiver back on the
-  had just learned. The call had left her with more questions than she had
+  cradle, pondering over what she had just learned. The call had left her
-  before. And what would she tell Jack? She looks at the terminal but
+  with more questions than she had before. And what would she tell Jack?
-  nothing had changed so she gets up to grab some snacks.
+  She looks at the terminal but nothing has changed so she gets up to grab
+  some snacks.
 </p>
 <p>
   A cup of juice and two cookies later, she hears the telephone ring in the
   basement. Annie grabs another cookie and hurries back down the stairs.
-  She makes it to the desk just in time for it to stop ringing. The text on
+  It stops ringing before she can get there, but the terminal shows some
-  the terminal disappears. She looks back and forth between the phone and
+  activity. The text disappears and a new message shows up. She sits down
-  the terminal for a moment. A new message appears. She sits down and
+  and replies.
-  replies:
 </p>
 
 <pre class="terminal">
@@ -218,12 +230,8 @@ Hello again.
 
 hello  i am really sorry but we cannot get to facility 53  its outside
 
-Okay. Sucks to be me, I guess...
+Okay. I kinda assumed that already... Can you get some technical
-
+documentation for me?
-is there anything else i can do for you
-
-Yes. I might be able to fix up the door if I had a service manual for it.
-Do you think you can get me a copy?
 
 i dont know  where would i find it
 
@@ -232,9 +240,9 @@ You are in the city under the mountain, right?
 yes  sunside cove
 
 The library should have it.
-I need the service manual for a Neotek Dynamics B33FY-AF Bunker Door.
+I need the service manual for a Neotek Dynamics B33FY-AF bunker door.
 
-yes   but how would i get a book to you
+ok sure  but how would i get a book to you
 
 They should have a digital version of it... You are not very familiar with
 computers, are you?
@@ -251,12 +259,12 @@ Are there any computer people you could ask for help?
 
 not sure they would do that  my grandpa might but he doesnt work here
 
-As long as he has access to a computer and modem, he should be able to do
+As long as he has access to a computer with a modem, he should be able to
-this.
+do this.
 
 whats a modem
 
-It allows you to connect computers over the telephone network.
+A device that connects computers over the telephone network.
 
 not sure he has one but i can ask
 
@@ -277,11 +285,11 @@ In case he does, he can reach this modem under &lt;phone number&gt; at
 <pre class="terminal">
 okay but it might take a couple days
 
-I can hold out down here for quite a while, don&apos;t worry about a couple
+I can hold out down here for quite a while, don&apos;t worry about a few
 days. I&apos;ll be back on this terminal on Friday evening if I don&apos;t
-hear from you or your grandpa before then. Is that okay?
+hear from you or your grandpa before then.
 
-are you safe down there
+are you safe there
 
 Yes, the bunker seems to be holding up well and I have plenty of food for
 now. I just wish I could get out of that damned door and see the light of
@@ -308,7 +316,6 @@ can we talk tomorrow  i have questions
 We can tal
 
 LINE DISCONNECTED -
-
 Tue, 2106-06-01, 20:12
 
 AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
@@ -330,10 +337,10 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
 <p>
   Annie collects the crumbs of the third cookie that had magically
   disappeared and eats them. Then, she gets up, takes the piece of paper,
-  and walks back to the stairs. Still thinking about the phrase
+  and returns to her office, still thinking about the phrase
-  <span class="quote non-speech">the light of day</span>, she returns to
+  <span class="quote non-speech">the light of day</span>. Now, she wants
-  her office. Now, she wants to see it too &ndash; out of curiosity.
+  to see it too &ndash; out of curiosity. She collects her things and
-  She collects her things and leaves for the day.
+  leaves for the day.
 </p>
 <p>
   Annie closes the door behind herself and locks it. As she takes a breath
@@ -343,12 +350,12 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
   starts walking towards the metro station at the corner. The buildings
   here are similar to the ones in residential areas &ndash; three to four
   story houses painted in different colors &ndash; but they are lacking
-  balconies and, instead of being homes, they mostly house offices. On the
+  balconies and all the lights are out as they mostly house offices. On the
   other side of the street is an embankment that holds the rails for the
   metro and beyond that is the outer wall of the dome. The street lights
-  illuminating the area had already switched to the lower brightness for
+  illuminating the area had already dimmed for the night giving the area
-  the night giving the area an eerie look. Only a couple times had she
+  an eerie look. Only a couple times had she seen it like this while
-  seen it like this while staying late for company events.
+  staying late for company events.
 </p>
 <p>
   Annie reaches the corner. She looks left and right before crossing the
@@ -360,7 +367,8 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
   <span class="quote non-speech">OUT&nbsp;OF&nbsp;ORDER</span>... Hrm.
   Mildly frustrated, she sits down on one of the benches and and starts
   rummaging in her bag. She finds her headphones and puts them on. At the
-  end of the cable is her walkman. She presses play and starts listening.
+  other end of the cable is her walkman. She presses play and starts
+  listening.
 </p>
 
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