01-Wake_Up-Jack_intro.html

@@ -3,12 +3,12 @@
 <h1> Wake Up! </h1>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">Ahh fuck!</span> Jack exclaims in pain as he
-  wakes up. He has a terrible headache. While moving his hands up to hold
+  wakes up. He has a terrible headache. As he moves his hands up to hold
   his head, he realizes that his entire body hurts.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Owwowwowwowwoww... Ouch!</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Emergency defrost complete. Entering low power
   mode.</span> announces an automated voice. <br />
-  He thinks: <span class="quote non-speech">Get it together, Jack!
+  He thinks to himself: <span class="quote thought">Get it together, Jack!
   You knew this was gonna happen. You have trained for this. Where are the
   meds again? ...</span>
 </p>
@@ -17,9 +17,9 @@
   chamber until he is fully awake. As he stands there, he looks out of the
   small window in the door. The bunker looks different from yesterday -
   not yesterday! That was how ever many years ago... Besides the point.
-  It looks different. Not just <span class="quote non-speech">things have
+  It looks different. Not just &quot;things have moved around&quot;
-  moved around</span> different, it has the vibe of a lost place.
+  different, it looks almost like a lost place. Unexpected but
-  Unexpected but whatever...
+  whatever...
 </p>
 <p>
   The pressurized air hisses in the lines as the door of the preservation
@@ -29,15 +29,18 @@
   across the room, are covered in dust and all exposed bits of metal have
   rust. The red night lights on the ceiling are dimly illuminating the rest
   of the bunker. He looks to the left: The wall is lined with other
-  preservation chambers, all except one of them being powered down.
+  preservation chambers, all except one of them being powered down. In
-  In the corner is a minicomputer in a half-height rack and next to it a
+  front of the rear wall are desks holding a radio, a terminal, and some
-  teleprinter. Along the rear wall are desks holding a radio, a terminal,
+  boxes. To the left of the desks in the corner is a minicomputer in a
-  and some boxes &ndash; and above them a phone on the wall &ndash; nothing
+  half-height rack and a teleprinter, and above it a phone on the wall
-  out of the ordinary here. He looks to the right: More preservation
+  &ndash; the usual Neotek equipment. He looks to the right: More
-  chambers. Instead of a wall, there&apos;s the bunker door &ndash; door is
+  preservation chambers. Instead of a wall, there&apos;s the bunker door
-  a bit of an understatement, it&apos;s a massive gate. A small slither of
+  &ndash; door is a bit of an understatement, it&apos;s a massive gate.
-  light passes under it. <span class="quote speech">These fucking idiots...
+  A small slither of light passes under it.
-  They didn&apos;t reseal it properly.</span>
+  <span class="quote thought">These fucking idiots... They didn&apos;t
+  reseal it properly.</span>
+  <span class="comment">not sure if this is speech or a thought or both
+  </span>
 </p>
 <p>
   He walks over to the door&apos;s control panel. The paint is flaking off
@@ -71,35 +74,48 @@
   the computer.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Jack returns to the desk with the terminal. He flips the switch on the
+  <span class="comment">There needs to be a mention of him trying to turn
-  desk lamp. It flickers for a moment and turns off again. He leans over
+  on a lamp but it only flickers for a short moment.</span>
-  the terminal and pushes the power switch &ndash; Bonk! At least this
+  He leans over the desk with the terminal and flips the power switch.
-  seems to work. While waiting for the tube to warm up, he walks over to
+  Bonk! <span class="quote thought">Seems to work, at least.</span> While
-  the rack and sits down on the floor in front of it. He inspects the
+  waiting for the tube to warm up, he walks over to the rack and sits down
-  status lights on the various devices thinking aloud:
+  on the floor in front of it. He inspects the status lights.
-  <span class="quote speech">CPU is idle, serials are idle, cryogenics
+  <span class="quote thought">CPU is idle, serials are idle, primary hard
-  control unit sees one active chamber, primary hard drive is powered up
+  drive is powered up &ndash; all good. Secondary hard drive is powered
-  &ndash; all good. Secondary hard drive is powered down, let&apos;s
+  down, let&apos;s change that...</span> He pushes the power button and
-  change that...</span>
+  hears the spindle spinning up. The power button blinks. There is some
-  He pushes the power button and hears the spindle spinning up. The power
+  intermittent rattling from the drive,
-  button blinks. There is some intermittent rattling from the drive,
+  <span class="quote thought">probably a shot bearing</span>. It takes an
-  probably a shot bearing. He hears the platters inside accelerate for an
+  unusually long time for it to get up to speed. Impatiently sitting there,
-  unusually long time. Impatiently sitting there, Jack waits for the drive
+  Jack waits for the drive to be ready. Clicking form the mechanism
-  to be ready. Clicking from the mechanism unlocking the heads followed by
+  unlocking the heads followed by a ringing scratching noise.
-  a ringing scratching noise. <span class="quote speech">Of course.</span>
+  <span class="quote thought">Of course</span>, he thinks, quickly pressing
-  He quickly presses the power button again. The scratching stops and the
+  the power button again. The scratching stops and the spindle motor turns
-  spindle motor turns off, followed by the platters slowly decelerating.
+  off. <span class="quote thought">That&apos;s gonna be an ugly head
-  <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s gonna be an ugly head
+  crash.</span> He looks around for other ways to get the manual.
-  crash.</span>
+  He could try calling someone, maybe the lines to &lt;dome city&gt; still
+  work.
 </p>
 <p>
-  He gets up and walks over to the phone. Maybe, the lines to
+  Not exactly excited by the prospect of calling random people, but not
-  &lt;dome city&gt; still work. Not exactly excited by the prospect of
+  seeing another option, he reaches for the phone. It lifts off the wall
-  calling random people, but not seeing another option, he reaches for
+  with a quiet click and Jack begins to dial. He holds the receiver to his
-  the receiver. It lifts off the wall with a quiet click and Jack begins
+  ear - silence. <span class="quote thought">Welp, that&apos;s that.</span>
-  to dial. He holds the receiver to his ear - silence.
+  He puts it back on the wall.
-  <span class="quote speech">Welp, that&apos;s that.</span> He puts it
+</p>
-  back on the wall.
+<p>
+  <span class="quote thought">I wonder what happened over the
+  years...</span>
+  He walks over to the the teleprinter and opens the lid to find that
+  something has eaten most of the paper. He removes the remains and opens
+  one of the cabinets under the desks. By some miracle, whatever ate the
+  paper didn&apos;t find the rest. He tears off a piece of the stack and
+  puts it into the printer, feeding the end into the tractor mechanism.
+  Then, he sits down at the terminal and logs on.
+  <span class="comment">This should be rephrased to indicate that there
+  is some purpose to him opening the lid in the first place, like him
+  wanting to change the ribbon bc it's no doubt deteriorated or something
+  like that.</span>
 </p>
 <pre class="terminal">
 Tue, 2106-06-01, 18:01
@@ -112,14 +128,123 @@ Welcome to INUX!
 $ &#9608;
 </pre>
 <p>
-  <span class="quote thought">Over a hundred years, hm...</span><br />
+  <span class="quote thought">Over a hundred years, huh...</span><br />
   He types a few commands.
 </p>
+<pre class="terminal">
+$ ls
+$ pwd
+/home/jack
+$ cd /var/log
+$ ls
+cron outpost dmesg.log wtmp
+$ cd outpost
+$ ls
+comms comms_diag event logbook
+$ cat logbook &gt; /dev/ttyS1
+$ &#9608;
+</pre>
+<p>
+  The printer comes to life and starts printing. Jack gets up and walks
+  over to it. The printer prints. And it prints some more. The paper
+  reaches the floor. Jack picks up the end and holds it, folding the pages
+  along the perforated lines as they reach his hands. Finally, the printer
+  stops to print. Jack turns the wheel on the side of the printer, manually
+  advancing the feed mechanism, until he reaches the end of the page. Then,
+  he tears it off and takes the small stack of paper back to the terminal
+  desk. Trying his luck with the lamp again, he flips the switch multiple
+  times until it stays on.
+</p>
+<pre class="paper">
+2000-01-01 Automated Announcement:
+    Happy New Year 2000!
+    //TODO: ASCII art of above line with fireworks
+
+    The outpost diagnostics suite reports no critical problems at any of
+    our outposts. The Lunar Biosphere has, so far, not needed assistance
+    from any of the outposts.
+    Good work, everyone!
+
+    The Future Is Bright.
+
+2002-08-15 Lunar Biosphere:
+    Crew wakeup command
+
+    Message:
+    //TODO
+//TODO: more log messages left by people
+</pre>
 
 <p class="comment">
-  Outline of missing section(s):
+  Outline of missing section:
 </p>
 <ul>
+  <li class="comment">
+    Jack goes to the back taking a look at the printer
+    <ul>
+      <li class="comment">
+        the printer shows a log with contents along the lines of this:
+        <ul>
+          <li class="comment">
+            2000 - Happy new year Y2K
+          </li>
+          <li class="comment">
+            2002 - incoming ground crew wake up command
+            <ul>
+              <li class="comment">
+                5 personnel got woken up
+              </li>
+              <li class="comment">
+                message warning of the still very contaminated atmosphere
+              </li>
+              <li class="comment">
+                they all die within the year
+              </li>
+            </ul>
+          </li>
+          <li class="comment">
+            2033 - incoming ground crew wake up command
+            <ul>
+              <li class="comment">
+                3 personnel got woken up, one died in an accident, 2 more
+                got woken up
+              </li>
+              <li class="comment">
+                another message warning of the atmosphere
+              </li>
+              <li class="comment">
+                they all die within 5 to 10 years
+              </li>
+            </ul>
+          </li>
+          <li class="comment">
+            2059 - critical failure: link to moon lost
+            <ul>
+              <li class="comment">
+                maybe some automatic diagnostics
+              </li>
+              <li class="comment">
+                the computer concludes it&apos;s a problem on their end,
+                no need to wake up anyone, just wait until the link is
+                established again
+              </li>
+            </ul>
+          <li class="comment">
+            2100 - Happy new year 2100
+          </li>
+          <li class="comment">
+            Tue, 2106-06-01 15:27 - critical failure imminent in
+            Jack&apos;s preservation chamber
+            <ul>
+              <li class="comment">
+                emergency wakeup
+              </li>
+            </ul>
+          </li>
+        </ul>
+      </li>
+    </ul>
+  </li>
   <li class="comment">
     Jack checks on the food and clothes and that the kitchen and bathroom
     are in working order and that he really has no tools and manuals
@@ -131,6 +256,22 @@ $ &#9608;
       </li>
     </ul>
   </li>
+  <li class="comment">
+    phone is broken
+  </li>
+  <li class="comment">
+    computer and terminal work still
+    <ul>
+      <li class="comment">
+        maybe need explanation as to why - at least something like
+        &quot;Jack is surprised&quot;
+      </li>
+      <li class="comment">
+        when trying to power on the additional hard drive that&apos;s
+        supposed to contain all sorts of data - including manuals - he
+        finds it corrupted or damaged
+      </li>
+    </ul>
   <li class="comment">
     Jack tries to dial into a bunch of known modems, finally succeeding
     when reaching AgriWorks
@@ -146,7 +287,10 @@ $ &#9608;
     </ul>
   </li>
   <li class="comment">
-    Annie conversation setup (duh)
+    Annie conversation (duh)
+  </li>
+  <li class="comment">
+    something? Idk
   </li>
 </ul>
 

02-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html

@@ -5,15 +5,15 @@
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
-  What was that? Annie looks up.
+  What was that? Annie turns around.
 </p>
 <p class="light">
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
-  That came from the hallway. She steps outside her office to locate the
+  That came from the hallway. She steps outside her office to see where
-  source of this noise. Everyone else had already gone home and she was
+  this noise is coming from. Everyone else had already gone home and she
-  about to leave as well so this is weird.
+  was about to leave as well so this is weird.
 </p>
 <p class="light">
   beep beep
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
-  It sounds clearer, it comes from down there. Annie walks down the
+  The sound is clearer, it comes from down there. Annie walks down the
   stairs and turns on the lights. She rarely goes to the basement, usually
   just to add to the piles of archived paperwork on the rows of shelves,
   but she had no idea there was anything other than the archive down here.
@@ -43,20 +43,20 @@
 <p>
   The room is dimly lit by a few light fixtures on the walls. Looking
   through between the rows of binders, boxes, and loose stacks of paper,
-  she notices a small dark area in the back of the room. She begins to
+  she notices a small dark area in the back of the room. She starts
-  walk towards it.
+  walking towards it.
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
   The noise is now very close. Behind the last shelf, sectioned off from
-  the rest of the room, she finds what looks to be a small office. There
+  the rest of the room, she finds a corner that looks like a small office.
-  is a large wooden desk with a comfortable-looking though well-worn
+  There is a large desk with a comfortable-looking though well-worn leather
-  leather chair in front of it. Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was
+  chair in front of it. Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was
   apparently placed there in the absence of a desk lamp. The desk itself is
-  a mess, apart from a neatly organized row of books towards the wall,
+  a mess (apart from a neatly organized row of books at the back of the
-  holding all sorts of tools and cables. Front and center is a terminal...
+  desk). Front and center is a terminal...
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP

04-Return_Null.html

@@ -30,64 +30,5 @@
     Annie needs to go to meet the library guy
   </li>
 </ul>
-<p class="comment">
-  This has been moved here from chapter 1 &quot;Wake Up&quot;. It should
-  be integrated into this chapter instead.
-</p>
-<p>
-  He walks over to the the teleprinter and opens the lid to find that
-  something has eaten most of the paper. He removes the remains and opens
-  one of the cabinets under the desks. By some miracle, whatever ate the
-  paper didn&apos;t find the rest. He tears off a piece of the stack and
-  puts it into the printer, feeding the end into the tractor mechanism.
-  Then, he sits down at the terminal and logs on.
-  <span class="comment">This should be rephrased to indicate that there
-  is some purpose to him opening the lid in the first place, like him
-  wanting to change the ribbon bc it's no doubt deteriorated or something
-  like that.</span>
-</p>
-<pre class="terminal">
-$ ls
-$ pwd
-/home/jack
-$ cd /var/log
-$ ls
-cron outpost dmesg.log wtmp
-$ cd outpost
-$ ls
-comms comms_diag event logbook
-$ cat logbook &gt; /dev/ttyS1
-$ &#9608;
-</pre>
-<p>
-  The printer comes to life and starts printing. Jack gets up and walks
-  over to it. The printer prints. And it prints some more. The paper
-  reaches the floor. Jack picks up the end and holds it, folding the pages
-  along the perforated lines as they reach his hands. Finally, the printer
-  stops to print. Jack turns the wheel on the side of the printer, manually
-  advancing the feed mechanism, until he reaches the end of the page. Then,
-  he tears it off and takes the small stack of paper back to the terminal
-  desk. Trying his luck with the lamp again, he flips the switch multiple
-  times until it stays on.
-</p>
-<pre class="paper">
-2000-01-01 Automated Announcement:
-    Happy New Year 2000!
-    //TODO: ASCII art of above line with fireworks
-
-    The outpost diagnostics suite reports no critical problems at any of
-    our outposts. The Lunar Biosphere has, so far, not needed assistance
-    from any of the outposts.
-    Good work, everyone!
-
-    The Future Is Bright.
-
-2002-08-15 Lunar Biosphere:
-    Crew wakeup command
-
-    Message:
-    //TODO
-//TODO: more log messages left by people
-</pre>
 
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html_resources/style.css

@@ -115,14 +115,14 @@ span.quote.speech::after {
 span.quote.non-speech {
   color: #303030;
 }
-span.quote.non-speech::before {
+span.quote.thought::before {
   color: black;
   content: "\25b9";
   font-size: 0.75em;
   position: relative;
   bottom: 0.15em;
 }
-span.quote.non-speech::after {
+span.quote.thought::after {
   color: black;
   content: "\25c3";
   font-size: 0.75em;