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'zz' (End): remove HTML comments

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BodgeMaster 2024-03-03 10:52:14 +01:00
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@ -6,15 +6,11 @@
The group sits around the pot with leftovers on the gas stove, enjoying The group sits around the pot with leftovers on the gas stove, enjoying
the view of the skyline from above. To increase their odds of seeing the view of the skyline from above. To increase their odds of seeing
where Emily would land, they had decided to wait on top of one of the where Emily would land, they had decided to wait on top of one of the
tallest sky scrapers the city had to offer. tallest sky scrapers the city had to offer. The intense light of the
<!-- Owl feedback: change this to be two sentences -->
<!-- Owl feedback #2: just turn it around -->
The intense light of the
setting sun paints Nova Metropolis in vibrant hues of yellow and orange setting sun paints Nova Metropolis in vibrant hues of yellow and orange
while the moon is already coming over the horizon. while the moon is already coming over the horizon. They are engaged in
<!-- Owl feedback: mention the moon in its own sentence --> a conversation about the mind-boggling vastness of space and all it
They are engaged in a conversation about the contains.
mind-boggling vastness of space and all it contains.
</p> </p>
<p class="strong"> <p class="strong">
bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep
@ -30,7 +26,6 @@
<span class="quote speech">Don&apos;t worry, I got ya.</span> says Jack <span class="quote speech">Don&apos;t worry, I got ya.</span> says Jack
as he pulls a second pair out of his bag and hands it to her with a grin. as he pulls a second pair out of his bag and hands it to her with a grin.
<br /> <br />
<!-- Owl feedback: describe his face -->
<span class="quote speech">Oh, thank you!</span> She takes it and they <span class="quote speech">Oh, thank you!</span> She takes it and they
start walking towards the edge. start walking towards the edge.
</p> </p>
@ -57,7 +52,6 @@
Looking at Annie, who seems visibly scared, he adds:<br /> Looking at Annie, who seems visibly scared, he adds:<br />
<span class="quote speech">It&apos;s not gonna hit us, the odds of that <span class="quote speech">It&apos;s not gonna hit us, the odds of that
are pretty slim, but something&apos;s not right.</span><br /> are pretty slim, but something&apos;s not right.</span><br />
<!--Owl feedback: explain why they&apos;re just waiting for it anyway -->
As if on cue, the back of the shuttle breaks apart, turning into a As if on cue, the back of the shuttle breaks apart, turning into a
cloud of fragments. <span class="comment">need a better way to say the cloud of fragments. <span class="comment">need a better way to say the
very back</span> The rest plummets into the city moments later, taking very back</span> The rest plummets into the city moments later, taking
@ -86,8 +80,6 @@
that clear at some point before this chapter. Maybe include the part where that clear at some point before this chapter. Maybe include the part where
Jack insists on bringing it.</span><br /> Jack insists on bringing it.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Emily, can you hear us? Are you okay?</span> <span class="quote speech">Emily, can you hear us? Are you okay?</span>
<!-- Might benefit from proper radio protocol - Owl
says no -->
<br /> <br />
They hear a slightly distorted but clearly happy response through the They hear a slightly distorted but clearly happy response through the
noise:<br /> noise:<br />