02 Unlikely Encounter: more revision (minor fixes this time)

02-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html

@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
 <p>
   Following the sound, she walks down the hallway. She stops to listen.
 </p>
-<p class="strong">
+<p class="light">
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
@@ -65,8 +65,8 @@
 <p>
   ... and apparently it is the source of the beep sound. She had never
   used one before but taking a quick look can&apos;t hurt &ndash; and
-  besides, this beeping is slowly getting annoying. She walks up to it and
-  begins to inspect it... <span class="comment">wording!!</span>
+  besides, this beeping is slowly getting on her nerves. She walks up to
+  it and begins to inspect it... <span class="comment">wording!!</span>
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP
@@ -127,18 +127,15 @@ Thank you. Appreciate it.
   a pile of paper, an empty cup, some pens and pencils, a screwdriver and
   other tools, a rubber duck &ndash; what an odd place to find a rubber
   duck... A phone! She picks it up &ndash; no signal. <span class="comment">
-  Freizeichen?</span> Weird. Maybe it&apos;s disconnected. She looks on
+  Freizeichen?</span> Weird. Maybe, it isn&apos;t connected. She looks on
   the floor and, sure enough, there is the plug &ndash; not for much
   longer as she finds a phone socket and plugs it in. Strange electrical
-  noises. She tries to dial a number but nothing happens. A couple random
-  characters appear on the terminal. She drops the receiver back on the
-  cradle and types into the terminal again:
-</p>
-<p class="comment">
-  add the random characters
+  noises. She tries to dial a number but nothing happens. She drops the
+  receiver on the cradle and turns back to the terminal. A couple random
+  characters appear.
 </p>
 <pre class="terminal">
-i cant call anyone the phone is only making weird noises
+%s;  i cant call anyone the phone is only making weird noises
 
 This modem is probably on the same line. I can disconnect for a while and
 dial in again in a bit.
@@ -155,13 +152,13 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
 
 <p>
   <span class="quote non-speech">What&apos;s a modem?</span> she wonders
-  for a second but then disregards the thought as she picks up the phone
+  for a second, but then disregards the thought as she picks up the phone
   again. Who to call though? Her coworkers would probably make fun of her
   or be annoyed. Also, this place,
   <span class="quote non-speech">Cryo&nbsp;Facility&nbsp;53</span>, she had
   never heard of it. The only one who might know more about it is her
-  grandpa, as he used to work for the power company and still spends a lot
-  of his time studying the plans of the city. So she dials his number...
+  grandpa, as he used to work for the power company and had studied the
+  plans of the city very thoroughly. So she dials his number...
 </p>
 <p>
   Annie is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man. After
@@ -209,10 +206,11 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
 </p>
 <p>
   A cup of juice and two cookies later, she hears the telephone ring in the
-  basement. She grabs another cookie and hurries back down the stairs. She
-  makes it to the desk just in time for the phone to stop ringing. The
-  text on the terminal begins to move. She sits down, reads what just
-  appeared on screen, and starts typing:
+  basement. Annie grabs another cookie and hurries back down the stairs.
+  She makes it to the desk just in time for the phone to stop ringing. The
+  text on the terminal disappears. She looks back and forth between the
+  phone and the terminal for a moment. A new message appears. She sits down
+  and replies:
 </p>
 
 <pre class="terminal">
@@ -220,7 +218,7 @@ Hello again.
 
 hello  i am really sorry but we cannot get to facility 53  its outside
 
-Hm. Okay. Sucks to be me, I guess...
+Okay. Sucks to be me, I guess...
 
 is there anything else i can do for you
 
@@ -246,7 +244,7 @@ no
 <p>
   Annie looks up from the terminal. She finds a piece of paper and a pen
   &ndash; whoever works here hopefully won&apos;t mind &ndash; and writes
-  down <span class="quote non-speech">B33FY-AF door</span>.
+  down <span class="quote non-speech">Neotek B33FY-AF door</span>.
 </p>
 <pre class="terminal">
 Are there any computer people you could ask for help?
@@ -299,9 +297,8 @@ ok thats good
 I have to go now, the bunker&apos;s daily phone usage quota is running out.
 Thank you again and looking forward to talk to you and your grandpa.
 
-B33FY-AF Bunker Door
-&lt;phone number&gt;
-300 baud
+Neotek Dynamics B33FY-AF Bunker Door
+&lt;phone number&gt; @ 300 baud
 
 I will connect back to this terminal on Friday if we haven&apos;t
 established contact before then.
@@ -344,14 +341,14 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
   the clock above the entrance... 8:25 PM - the realization of how much
   time had passed hits: Normally she&apos;d be at home already. She starts
   walking towards the metro station at the corner. The buildings here are
-  similar to the ones in other parts of the city - three to four story
-  houses painted in different colors - but they are lacking balconies and,
-  instead of being homes, they mostly house offices. On the other side of
-  the street is an embankment that holds the rails for the metro and beyond
-  that is the outer wall of the dome. The street lights illuminating the
-  area had already switched to the lower brightness for the night giving
-  the area an eerie look. Only a couple times had she seen it like this
-  while staying late for company events.
+  similar to the ones in <span class="comment">Wohngebieten?</span> - three
+  to four story houses painted in different colors - but they are lacking
+  balconies and, instead of being homes, they mostly house offices. On the
+  other side of the street is an embankment that holds the rails for the
+  metro and beyond that is the outer wall of the dome. The street lights
+  illuminating the area had already switched to the lower brightness for
+  the night giving the area an eerie look. Only a couple times had she
+  seen it like this while staying late for company events.
 </p>
 <p>
   Annie reaches the corner. She looks left and right before crossing the