'ga','oa','ra','va' (moon chapters): language improvements

master
BodgeMaster 2023-10-07 16:18:07 +02:00
parent 7645eceac0
commit 24e9bf1895
4 changed files with 33 additions and 30 deletions

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@ -76,9 +76,9 @@
is in her module. is in her module.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
Emily turns around to find her older sister Lena sitting against the She turns around to find her older sister Lena sitting against the
wall - tears running down her face. After a moment to fully wake up and wall - tears running down her face. After a moment to fully wake up and
grasp the situation, she asks:<br /> grasp the situation, Emily asks:<br />
<span class="speech">Who?</span><br /> <span class="speech">Who?</span><br />
Lena snivels and points to the ring on her finger. <span class="comment"> Lena snivels and points to the ring on her finger. <span class="comment">
Dictionary to the rescue! Is that the right word? ... </span> Dictionary to the rescue! Is that the right word? ... </span>

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@ -1,11 +1,11 @@
<!DOCTYPE html><html><head><title> &lt;Emily Lab Incident&gt; </title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="html_resources/style.css"></head><body><a href="index.html"><button class="back">&lt;</button></a> <!DOCTYPE html><html><head><title> &lt;Emily Lab Incident&gt; </title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="html_resources/style.css"></head><body><a href="index.html"><button class="back">&lt;</button></a>
<h1> &lt;Emily Lab Incident&gt; </h1> <h1> &lt;Emily Lab Incident&gt; </h1>
<p> <p class="comment">
If you are here for reading, skip past the outline. If you are here for reading, skip past the outline.
</p> </p>
<p> <p class="comment">
*Outline:* Outline:
</p> </p>
<ul> <ul>
<li class="comment"> <li class="comment">
@ -75,37 +75,40 @@
<span class="speech">Not like anything else is gonna happen to <span class="speech">Not like anything else is gonna happen to
us...</span><br /> us...</span><br />
Lena shakes her head.<br /> Lena shakes her head.<br />
<span class="speech">I don&apos;t want to live my remaining days alone. <span class="speech">I don&apos;t want to spend my remaining days alone.
Just don&apos;t do it, please.</span><br /> Just don&apos;t do it, please.</span><br />
Emily gets up and wanders around the module. Her eyes fall on the drawers Emily gets up and paces around the module. <span class="comment"> Is that
in the adjacent maintenance module. She has an idea...<br /> proper grammar?</span> Her eyes fall on the drawers in the adjacent
maintenance module. An idea forms in her head...<br />
<span class="speech">Emily, where are you going?</span><br /> <span class="speech">Emily, where are you going?</span><br />
She steps inside and rummages through a bunch of drawers, leaving them She steps inside and rummages through a bunch of drawers, leaving them
open as she opens the next one.<br /> open as she opens the next one.<br />
<span class="speech">What are you doing with that hammer?</span><br /> <span class="speech">What are you doing with that hammer?</span><br />
She storms off into the hallway; Lena follows her. She storms off into the hallway; Lena jumps up and runs after her.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
As she runs through the door to the lab module, she smashes the hammer As she runs through the door to the lab module, she smashes the hammer
into its control panel. Arcing noises, the hissing of air pressure into its control panel. Arcing noises, the hissing of air pressure
getting released, the broken equipment alarm beeps. The door comes getting released, the broken equipment alarm beeps. The door comes
falling down behind her, slamming into the floor and latching with a falling down behind her, slamming into the floor and latching with a
loud click. She looks around for a moment as she catches her breath. The loud click. She looks around for a moment as she catches her breath.
walls are lined with work benches and cupboards above them. In the </p>
<p>
The walls are lined with workbenches and cupboards above them. In the
center is an additional large workbench where Tony&apos;s lab mice are center is an additional large workbench where Tony&apos;s lab mice are
still running around in their cage, oblivious to the situation. Emily had still running around in their cage, oblivious to the situation. Emily had
kept them as pets after he died. kept them as pets after he died.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
Banging on the door - Lena is outside. Emily walks over to the Banging on the door &ndash; Lena is outside. Emily walks over to the
Erlenmeyer flask that&apos;s sitting next to the sink in one of the Erlenmeyer flask that&apos;s sitting next to the sink built into one of
workbenches that line the walls. She lifts it up and looks through the the workbenches. She lifts it up and looks through the clear, blue
clear, blue liquid. Tony had written some science-y words on the flask liquid. Tony had written some science-y words on the flask along with
along with &quot;cure 5x concentrated&quot;, and closed it off with a &quot;cure 5x concentrated&quot;, and closed it off with a glass stopper.
glass stopper. Emily removes the stopper and grabs a small beaker from Emily removes the stopper and grabs a small beaker from the drying rack
the drying rack on the wall above the sink. She pours some of the liquid on the wall above the sink. She pours some of the liquid into the beaker,
into the beaker, sets the flask aside, and tops it off with water from sets the flask aside, and tops it off with water from the tap. Holding
the tap. Holding the beaker in her hands, she hesitates. the beaker in her hands, she hesitates.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
Buzzing noises and clicking from the door. The latching mechanism opens. Buzzing noises and clicking from the door. The latching mechanism opens.

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@ -147,10 +147,10 @@ MOON-01 &gt; We have another problem somewhere along the line. There&apos;s
apparently more noise than signal. apparently more noise than signal.
</pre> </pre>
<p> <p>
Lena opens a cover with a small label &quot;P2&quot; and pulls two cards Lena opens a cover with a small label &quot;P2&quot;, pulls two cards
out of their sockets and inspects them. One has a big black burn mark out of their sockets, and inspects them. One has a big black burn mark
right in the center.<br /> right in the center. She turns to Emily:<br />
<span class="speech">Emily, can you fetch me this module from another <span class="speech">Can you fetch me this module from another
phone?</span> phone?</span>
</p> </p>
<p> <p>

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@ -144,12 +144,12 @@
</li> </li>
</ul> </ul>
<p> <p>
Lena&apos;s low oxygen alarm starts to beep. Emily gets up and walks The conversation is interrupted by the beeping of Lena&apos;s low oxygen
back to the habitat. She enters through the airlock and looks for a alarm going off. Emily gets up and walks back to the habitat. She enters
full oxygen bottle. She lifts one out of its rack and carries it back through the airlock and looks for a full oxygen bottle. She lifts one
to Lena. She opens the life support unit and closes the valves on it out of its rack and carries it back to Lena. She opens the life support
and the empty bottle, then she replaces it and opens the valves again. unit and closes the valves on it and the empty bottle, then she replaces
<br /><span class="comment"> it and opens the valves again. <br /><span class="comment">
missing: Emily&apos;s LSU is also empty. She replaces the oxygen bottle missing: Emily&apos;s LSU is also empty. She replaces the oxygen bottle
and returns, sitting down next to Lena for company.</span> and returns, sitting down next to Lena for company.</span>
</p> </p>