many chapters: minor revisions - mostly wording fixes, some small gaps filled
Yeah I just wanna get rid of that list of red files in my `git status` but many of these aren't worth pushing on their own.master
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@ -75,7 +75,7 @@
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She hurries up the stairs and gets on. The doors close and it begins to
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move. Annie catches her breath and takes her library card out to look at
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it. The note written on it reads:
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<span class="quote non-speech"><metro station> 10:30PM
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<span class="quote non-speech">Metro Crystal Park 10:30PM
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tonight</span>.
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</p>
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@ -59,8 +59,8 @@
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<p>
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Looking outside again, Annie realizes:<br />
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<span class="quote speech">I have never seen one of these</span> –
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she knocks on the control panel – <span class="quote speech">go
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this fast.</span><br />
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she taps her hand on the control panel –
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<span class="quote speech">go this fast.</span><br />
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<span class="quote speech">Me neither</span>, says Jack. He adds:
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<span class="quote speech">There used to be trains that could go faster
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– a lot faster – but not the metro.</span>
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@ -155,7 +155,6 @@
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<br />
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<span class="quote speech">Uhh... yes.</span><br />
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He seems to be taken aback by her sudden excitement.<br />
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<span class="comment">Missing: explanation, they go to car, Mary sits in
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the front with Jack</span>
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<span class="comment">Missing: explanation, they go to car</span>
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</p>
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<p class="copyright">Copyright © 2023-2026 Jan Danielzick (aka. BodgeMaster) – All rights reserved.</p><script>let spans=["<span class=\"paper green\">","<span>"];let pre_texts=document.getElementsByTagName("pre");for(let i=0;i<pre_texts.length;i++){if(pre_texts[i].className!="paper")continue;let lines=pre_texts[i].innerHTML.split("\n");let result="";for(let j=0;j<lines.length;j++){if(lines[j].length>=80)result=result+spans[j%2]+lines[j]+"</span>\n";else result=result+spans[j%2]+lines[j]+" ".repeat(80-lines[j].length)+"</span>\n";}pre_texts[i].innerHTML=result;}fetch("./chapters.json").then(function(result){return result.json();}).then(function(json){let chapters=json.pages;for(let i=0;i<chapters.length;i++){if(chapters[i]===document.URL.replace(/^.*\//,"./")){let prevdiv=document.createElement("div");prevdiv.className="prev";if(i>0){prevdiv.innerHTML="<a href=\""+chapters[i-1]+"\">◃</a>";}else{prevdiv.innerHTML="<p>◃</p>";}document.body.appendChild(prevdiv);let nextdiv=document.createElement("div");nextdiv.className="next";if(i<chapters.length-1){nextdiv.innerHTML="<a href=\""+chapters[i+1]+"\">▹</a>";}else{nextdiv.innerHTML="<p>▹</p>";}document.body.appendChild(nextdiv);}}});</script></body></html>
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@ -4,18 +4,19 @@
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<!-- perspective: Jack -->
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<p>
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<!--
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the fact that Mary sits in the front is already a given
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-->
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They drive on a dirt road alongside the dried-out <span class="comment">
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river name</span>. The road is in pretty poor condition and they get
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shaken thoroughly.<br />
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Mary appears to be having a blast:
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shaken thoroughly. Mary sits in the front with Jack, showing him the way.
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<br />
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She appears to be having a blast:
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<span class="quote speech">Faster! Faster!</span><br />
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<span class="quote speech">I don't think Annie would appreciate
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that.</span><br />
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<span class="quote speech">Aww.</span><br />
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Annie says <span class="quote speech">thanks</span> from the rear seats.
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They hear Annie say <span class="quote speech">thanks</span> from behind
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Jack.<br />
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<span class="comment">somezthing along the lines of "You good back
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there?"</span>
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</p>
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<p>
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<!--
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@ -61,17 +62,15 @@
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with a few walls that pertrude into the river and two
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<span class="comment">weers? translate: Stauwehre / Wehre</span>, one for
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controlling the <span class="comment">inflow? tanslate: Zufluss</span>,
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one for a bypass. The floor of the tunnel sits significantly beneath
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the river bed and, while the river bed is completely dry, there is still
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one for a bypass <span class="comment"> can be adjusted with large
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screws </span>. The floor of the tunnel sits significantly beneath the
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river bed and, while the river bed is completely dry, there is still
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some water inside.
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<!--
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- trockenes Wehr am Einlass
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- water in the tunnel
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- bridge nearby
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- look at the large buried tank / branching point
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<span class="comment"><br />
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TBD:<br />
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- look at the large buried tank / branching point<br />
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- go upstream to see where the river has gone
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-->
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</span>
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</p>
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<p class="copyright">Copyright © 2023-2026 Jan Danielzick (aka. BodgeMaster) – All rights reserved.</p><script>let spans=["<span class=\"paper green\">","<span>"];let pre_texts=document.getElementsByTagName("pre");for(let i=0;i<pre_texts.length;i++){if(pre_texts[i].className!="paper")continue;let lines=pre_texts[i].innerHTML.split("\n");let result="";for(let j=0;j<lines.length;j++){if(lines[j].length>=80)result=result+spans[j%2]+lines[j]+"</span>\n";else result=result+spans[j%2]+lines[j]+" ".repeat(80-lines[j].length)+"</span>\n";}pre_texts[i].innerHTML=result;}fetch("./chapters.json").then(function(result){return result.json();}).then(function(json){let chapters=json.pages;for(let i=0;i<chapters.length;i++){if(chapters[i]===document.URL.replace(/^.*\//,"./")){let prevdiv=document.createElement("div");prevdiv.className="prev";if(i>0){prevdiv.innerHTML="<a href=\""+chapters[i-1]+"\">◃</a>";}else{prevdiv.innerHTML="<p>◃</p>";}document.body.appendChild(prevdiv);let nextdiv=document.createElement("div");nextdiv.className="next";if(i<chapters.length-1){nextdiv.innerHTML="<a href=\""+chapters[i+1]+"\">▹</a>";}else{nextdiv.innerHTML="<p>▹</p>";}document.body.appendChild(nextdiv);}}});</script></body></html>
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@ -56,8 +56,9 @@
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told to fill in the rest.
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</p>
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<p>
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<span class="comment">something is missing here, maybe add a
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paragraph about the trial itself</span>
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Not much later, she finds herself at trial. As laid out in the paperwork,
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she gets banished. She is almost kinda surprised it wasn't
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a trick, but also relieved.
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</p>
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<p>
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Isabelle is taken to a cell with no bed or toilet, just a bench.
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@ -95,15 +96,15 @@
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It's a short ride from the prison to the nearest train station.
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Apart from a few cars moving around, the entire area is completely dark.
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No steetlights, no lit-up windows. It is dark enough that she can see
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a faint shimmer on the dome ceiling, reflecting from other parts of
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the city.
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a faint shimmer on the dome ceiling, reflecting the light from other
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parts of the city.
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</p>
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<p>
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A train is waiting at the platform. Rather than the usual metro, this one
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is made up of a battery locomotive and a few flatbed cars. The guard
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is made up of a battery locomotive and a few flat bed cars. The guard
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hands the key to her handcuffs over to a guy who seems to be in charge.
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They sign some paperwork. Then, the guard leaves and the guy tells her
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to go sit on the last of the flatbed cars.
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to go sit on the last car at the end of the train.
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</p>
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<p>
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A few minutes later, the same repeats with Lucas. He sits down next to
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@ -9,26 +9,29 @@
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bench next to the airlock. Emily helps her all the way into the
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suit. Lena sits there for a moment, heavily breathing, while Emily waits.
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<br />
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<span class="quote speech">Sorry, I can't... I feel exhausted.</span>
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<span class="quote speech">Sorry, I can't... too exhausted...</span>
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<br />
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Emily nods and continues getting both of them ready.
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</p>
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<p>
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Emily takes their helmets and brings them into the airlock. She returns
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for a life support unit, pulls it out of the rack in the wall, and sets
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it down on the floor. Following a mental checklist, she makes sure that
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the oxygen bottle is connected properly and the gauges read what they
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should. Everything okay... or is it? She double-checks with the check
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list on the wall. Yes, this unit is ready. She triple-checks everything
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– first time it actually matters. Reasonably satisfied with her
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findings, she carries it over to the airlock. Then, she repeats this
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procedure for the second unit. Finally, she helps Lena up and they get
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into the airlock.
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She takes their helmets and brings them into the airlock. Then, she
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returns for a life support unit, pulls it out of the rack in the wall,
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and sets it down on the floor. Following a mental checklist, she makes
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sure that the oxygen bottle is connected properly and the gauges read
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what they should. Everything okay... or is it? She double-checks with
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the check list on the wall. Yes, this unit is ready. She triple-checks
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everything – first time it actually matters. Reasonably satisfied
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with her findings, she carries it over to the airlock. Then, she repeats
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this procedure for another unit. Finally, she helps Lena up and they
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get into the airlock.
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</p>
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<p>
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The pumps are getting quieter and quieter. Lena kneels on the floor
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Helmets on, inner door closed, airlock cycling. The pumps are getting
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quieter and quieter as the pressure drops. Lena kneels on the floor
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holding a bunch of flowers from the biotope module, her life support
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unit next to her on a short tether. Emily puts it on her back and and
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helps her up. The outer door of the airlock silently swings aside and
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they start walking, Lena leaning on Emily.
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unit next to her on a short tether. Emily puts it on her back and helps
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her up. The outer door of the airlock silently swings aside and they
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start walking, Lena leaning on her.
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</p>
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<p>
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They reach the graveyard and walk over to the recent graves. The entire
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@ -48,7 +51,7 @@
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<span class="quote speech">Ultimately, you were right.</span> She is
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interrupted by coughing. <span class="quote speech">If more had taken
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Tony's cure – no matter what risk it posed ... – maybe
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some of them would be alive now.</span><br />
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some of them would have made it.</span><br />
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<span class="quote speech">What about you?</span> Emily asks with a
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slither of hope in her voice.<br />
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<span class="quote speech">No – no cure can save me, it's too
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