01 Wake Up: Revision, getting rid of the over-used literal thoughts, improve wording of a lot of things

01-Wake_Up-Jack_intro.html

@@ -3,12 +3,12 @@
 <h1> Wake Up! </h1>
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">Ahh fuck!</span> Jack exclaims in pain as he
-  wakes up. He has a terrible headache. As he moves his hands up to hold
+  wakes up. He has a terrible headache. While moving his hands up to hold
   his head, he realizes that his entire body hurts.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Owwowwowwowwoww... Ouch!</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Emergency defrost complete. Entering low power
   mode.</span> announces an automated voice. <br />
-  He thinks to himself: <span class="quote thought">Get it together, Jack!
+  He thinks: <span class="quote non-speech">Get it together, Jack!
   You knew this was gonna happen. You have trained for this. Where are the
   meds again? ...</span>
 </p>
@@ -17,9 +17,9 @@
   chamber until he is fully awake. As he stands there, he looks out of the
   small window in the door. The bunker looks different from yesterday -
   not yesterday! That was how ever many years ago... Besides the point.
-  It looks different. Not just &quot;things have moved around&quot;
+  It looks different. Not just <span class="quote non-speech">things have
-  different, it looks almost like a lost place. Unexpected but
+  moved around</span> different, it has the vibe of a lost place.
-  whatever...
+  Unexpected but whatever...
 </p>
 <p>
   The pressurized air hisses in the lines as the door of the preservation
@@ -29,18 +29,15 @@
   across the room, are covered in dust and all exposed bits of metal have
   rust. The red night lights on the ceiling are dimly illuminating the rest
   of the bunker. He looks to the left: The wall is lined with other
-  preservation chambers, all except one of them being powered down. In
+  preservation chambers, all except one of them being powered down.
-  front of the rear wall are desks holding a radio, a terminal, and some
+  In the corner is a minicomputer in a half-height rack and next to it a
-  boxes. To the left of the desks in the corner is a minicomputer in a
+  teleprinter. Along the rear wall are desks holding a radio, a terminal,
-  half-height rack and a teleprinter, and above it a phone on the wall
+  and some boxes &ndash; and above them a phone on the wall &ndash; nothing
-  &ndash; the usual Neotek equipment. He looks to the right: More
+  out of the ordinary here. He looks to the right: More preservation
-  preservation chambers. Instead of a wall, there&apos;s the bunker door
+  chambers. Instead of a wall, there&apos;s the bunker door &ndash; door is
-  &ndash; door is a bit of an understatement, it&apos;s a massive gate.
+  a bit of an understatement, it&apos;s a massive gate. A small slither of
-  A small slither of light passes under it.
+  light passes under it. <span class="quote speech">These fucking idiots...
-  <span class="quote thought">These fucking idiots... They didn&apos;t
+  They didn&apos;t reseal it properly.</span>
-  reseal it properly.</span>
-  <span class="comment">not sure if this is speech or a thought or both
-  </span>
 </p>
 <p>
   He walks over to the door&apos;s control panel. The paint is flaking off
@@ -74,38 +71,41 @@
   the computer.
 </p>
 <p>
-  <span class="comment">There needs to be a mention of him trying to turn
+  Jack returns to the desk with the terminal. He flips the switch on the
-  on a lamp but it only flickers for a short moment.</span>
+  desk lamp. It flickers for a moment and turns off again. He leans over
-  He leans over the desk with the terminal and flips the power switch.
+  the terminal and pushes the power switch &ndash; Bonk! At least this
-  Bonk! <span class="quote thought">Seems to work, at least.</span> While
+  seems to work. While waiting for the tube to warm up, he walks over to
-  waiting for the tube to warm up, he walks over to the rack and sits down
+  the rack and sits down on the floor in front of it. He inspects the
-  on the floor in front of it. He inspects the status lights.
+  status lights on the various devices thinking aloud:
-  <span class="quote thought">CPU is idle, serials are idle, primary hard
+  <span class="quote speech">CPU is idle, serials are idle, primary hard
   drive is powered up &ndash; all good. Secondary hard drive is powered
-  down, let&apos;s change that...</span> He pushes the power button and
+  down, let&apos;s change that...</span>
-  hears the spindle spinning up. The power button blinks. There is some
+  He pushes the power button and hears the spindle spinning up. The power
-  intermittent rattling from the drive,
+  button blinks. There is some intermittent rattling from the drive,
-  <span class="quote thought">probably a shot bearing</span>. It takes an
+  probably a shot bearing. It takes an unusually long time for it to get
-  unusually long time for it to get up to speed. Impatiently sitting there,
+  up to speed. Impatiently sitting there, Jack waits for the drive to be
-  Jack waits for the drive to be ready. Clicking form the mechanism
+  ready. Clicking from the mechanism unlocking the heads followed by a
-  unlocking the heads followed by a ringing scratching noise.
+  ringing scratching noise. <span class="quote speech">Of course.</span>
-  <span class="quote thought">Of course</span>, he thinks, quickly pressing
+  He quickly presses the power button again. The scratching stops and the
-  the power button again. The scratching stops and the spindle motor turns
+  spindle motor turns off, followed by the platters slowly decelerating.
-  off. <span class="quote thought">That&apos;s gonna be an ugly head
+  <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s gonna be an ugly head
-  crash.</span> He looks around for other ways to get the manual.
+  crash.</span>
-  He could try calling someone, maybe the lines to &lt;dome city&gt; still
-  work.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Not exactly excited by the prospect of calling random people, but not
+  He gets up and walks over to the phone. Maybe, the lines to
-  seeing another option, he reaches for the phone. It lifts off the wall
+  &lt;dome city&gt; still work. Not exactly excited by the prospect of
-  with a quiet click and Jack begins to dial. He holds the receiver to his
+  calling random people, but not seeing another option, he reaches for
-  ear - silence. <span class="quote thought">Welp, that&apos;s that.</span>
+  the receiver. It lifts off the wall with a quiet click and Jack begins
-  He puts it back on the wall.
+  to dial. He holds the receiver to his ear - silence.
+  <span class="quote speech">Welp, that&apos;s that.</span> He puts it
+  back on the wall.
+</p>
+<p class="comment">
+  Need to tie this together - or, alternatively, Jack printing the logs
+  could be moved to after the Annie interaction as something Jack can do
+  to pass time.
 </p>
 <p>
-  <span class="quote thought">I wonder what happened over the
-  years...</span>
   He walks over to the the teleprinter and opens the lid to find that
   something has eaten most of the paper. He removes the remains and opens
   one of the cabinets under the desks. By some miracle, whatever ate the