01 Unlikely Encounter: refine language around Annie rarely going to the basement

01-Unlikely_Encounter-Annie-intro.html

@@ -33,25 +33,30 @@
 </p>
 <p>
   The sound is clearer, it comes from down there. Annie walks down the
-  stairs and turns on the lights. She rarely goes down here.
+  stairs and turns on the lights. She rarely goes to the basement, usually
-  <span class="comment"> needs to be tied together better; Why is it
+  just to add to the piles of archived paperwork on the rows of shelves,
-  relevant that she is only down here rarely? </span> Rows of shelves hold
+  but she had no idea there was anything other than the archive down here.
-  lots of documents, some standing up vertically in folders and boxes,
-  others as horizontal stacks of paper. The room is dimly lit by a few
-  light fixtures on the walls.
 </p>
 <p class="strong">
   beep beep
 </p>
 <p>
-  She walks past the shelves. The noise is now very close. Behind the last
+  The room is dimly lit by a few light fixtures on the walls. Looking
-  shelf, sectioned off from the rest of the room, she finds a corner that
+  through between the rows of binders, boxes, and loose stacks of paper,
-  looks like a small office. There is a large desk with a
+  she notices a small dark area in the back of the room. She starts
-  comfortable-looking though well-worn leather chair in front of it.
+  walking towards it.
-  Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was apparently placed there in
+</p>
-  the absence of a desk lamp. The desk itself is a mess (apart from a
+<p class="heavy">
-  neatly organized row of books at the back of the desk). Front and center
+  beep beep
-  is a terminal...
+</p>
+<p>
+  The noise is now very close. Behind the last shelf, sectioned off from
+  the rest of the room, she finds a corner that looks like a small office.
+  There is a large desk with a comfortable-looking though well-worn leather
+  chair in front of it. Next to the chair is a floor lamp that was
+  apparently placed there in the absence of a desk lamp. The desk itself is
+  a mess (apart from a neatly organized row of books at the back of the
+  desk). Front and center is a terminal...
 </p>
 <p class="heavy">
   BEEP BEEP