(many files): minor revision (mostly fixing language problems)

Many of my comments like "translate this" or "what's the right word" have
been filled in.

Also, an honestly embarassing amount of spelling errors, missing words,
double words, and special characters that I normally replace (like using
– for a slightly longer dash instead of -).

I proofread everything. How this happens is beyond me but it does.
Regularly.
master
BodgeMaster 2025-08-29 00:18:56 +02:00
parent 5a71ef30cc
commit 655708d235
21 changed files with 171 additions and 149 deletions

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@ -55,7 +55,7 @@
door properly... Doesn't matter, too late now.
</p>
<p>
As he passes each of the presevation chambers, he looks into them. Empty,
As he passes each of the preservation chambers, he looks into them. Empty,
empty, empty - nothing unexpected here. The others would have been woken
up over time. His own chamber... He presses a few buttons to fully shut
it down. The lamp in the ceiling turns off, the door closes, the status

View File

@ -126,13 +126,12 @@ Thank you. Appreciate it.
are arranged in a strange order... Annie looks around. Lots of cables,
a pile of paper, an empty cup, some pens and pencils, a screwdriver and
other tools, a rubber duck &ndash; what an odd place to find a rubber
duck... A phone! She picks it up &ndash; no signal. <span class="comment">
Freizeichen?</span> Weird. Maybe, it isn&apos;t connected. She looks on
the floor and, sure enough, there is the plug &ndash; not for much
longer as she finds a phone socket and plugs it in. Strange electrical
noises. She tries to dial a number but nothing happens. She drops the
receiver on the cradle and turns back to the terminal. A couple random
characters appear.
duck... A phone! She picks it up &ndash; no dial tone. Weird. Maybe, it
isn&apos;t connected. She looks on the floor and, sure enough, there is
the plug &ndash; not for much longer as she finds a phone socket and
plugs it in. Strange electrical noises. She tries to dial a number but
nothing happens. She drops the receiver on the cradle and turns back to
the terminal. A couple random characters appear.
</p>
<pre class="terminal">
%s; i cant call anyone the phone is only making weird noises
@ -163,7 +162,7 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
<p>
Annie is greeted by the friendly voice of an old man. After
<span class="comment">a short exchange of &quot;Hello, how are
you?&quot;</span>, she begins explain the situation. He interrupts her
you?&quot;</span>, she begins to explain the situation. He interrupts her
while relaying what Jack had written:<br />
<span class="quote speech">Cryo&nbsp;Facility? Are you sure?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Yes, it says here: Cryo Facility 53.</span><br />
@ -353,10 +352,10 @@ AgriWorks Login: &#9608;
<p>
Annie reaches the corner. She looks left and right before crossing the
street but not a single car is in sight. As she enters the station and
walks up the stairs, she glances at the display - 21 minutes until the
walks up the stairs, she glances at the display &ndash; 21 minutes until the
next train arrives, that&apos;s a long wait... The station is completely
devoid of life, nobody else is out here this late. Annie walks up to the
vending machine at the upper end of the staircase -
vending machine at the upper end of the staircase &ndash;
<span class="quote non-speech">OUT&nbsp;OF&nbsp;ORDER</span>... Hrm.
Mildly frustrated, she sits down on one of the benches and and starts
rummaging in her bag. She finds her headphones and puts them on. At the

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@ -167,7 +167,7 @@
you&apos;re here, we were about to discuss the call we had
yesterday.</span><br />
He introduces Annie and the othe group members and everyone sits down
at the table. Karl <span class="comment">ergreift das Wort</span>:
at the table. Then, addressing Annie, he begins to speak:
</p>
<p class="quote speech">
<span class="comment">TODO: whole paragraph speech formatting</span>
@ -212,7 +212,7 @@
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key chain.<br />
<span class="quote speech">If you want, you can try getting it - I
can&apos;t because I disappeared from a birthday party with an excuse
and they are probably waiting for me to be back.</span><br />
and they&apos;re waiting for me to be back.</span><br />
He places the keys in the center of the table.<br />
Karl says: <span class="quote speech">I would love to, but I&apos;m
afraid I can&apos;t run if things go south.</span><br />

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@ -85,8 +85,8 @@
<span class="quote speech">Maybe this one?</span>
She points at a key switch with multiple positions.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Only one way to find out.</span><br />
Isabelle grabs the keys and hands them to her. One of them fits and
turns.
Isabelle grabs the keys and tries them one by one until one of them fits
and turns.
</p>
<p>
Fans come on; they hear the loud noise of air rushing through the
@ -108,7 +108,12 @@
and to enter something into the terminal. And then there&apos;s a list
of hints and commands that might help us, and
<span class="quote non-speech">Good luck!</span>...</span><br />
Isabelle pushes the buttons and they walk over to the terminal.
Isabelle pushes the buttons and Annie walks over to the terminal.
</p>
<p class="comment">
missing section, probably a &lt;pre class=&quot;terminal&quot;&gt;
where Annie, following the steps, enters a few hex codes followed by
&quot;hd2,vminux&quot;
</p>
<p>
After a lot of typing into the terminal and figuring things out the hard
@ -139,10 +144,9 @@
struggles for a moment to get onto the crate. After she finally manages
to get up, Isabelle pulls her through the window - not a moment too soon.
<br />
<span class="quote speech">You, stop!</span>, <span class="comment">
rephrase!!</span> a man yells at them from inside,
<span class="quote speech">Stay where you are!</span><br />
They start running. <br />
<span class="quote speech">Stop! Stay where you are!</span>, a man yells
at them from inside.<br />
They start running.<br />
<span class="quote speech">I&apos;m gonna catch you.</span>
</p>
<p>
@ -150,17 +154,19 @@
ledge on the side of a building, helping Annie up after herself. They
continue running on the ledge until reaching a wall at the end of the
alley. Isabelle jumps, grabs hold of the railing at the top, pulls
herself up, and climbs over it. <br />
<span class="quote speech">Wait here.</span> She disappears. <br />
Annie looks around nervously. What if she was caught now? <br />
herself up, and climbs over it.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Wait here.</span><br />
She disappears. Annie looks around nervously. What if she was caught now?
<br />
A moment later, Isabelle returns with a ladder. Annie climbs up and
pulls it up after herself. Isabelle takes it and stashes it on the other
side of the embankment. They find themselves on the metro tracks.
Annie looks around nervously.<br />
<span class="quote speech">We need to get off of here.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">It&apos;s fine, we&apos;ll hear any approaching
train long before we see it.</span> Isabelle points towards a close by
station and says <span class="quote speech">Central Square</span>.<br />
<span class="quote speech">It&apos;s fine, we&apos;ll hear any train
long before we see it.</span> Isabelle points towards a close-by
station and says <span class="quote speech">Central&nbsp;Square</span>.
<br />
They run towards it along the tracks. Just as they make their way onto
the platform, the rails start ringing.<br />
Isabelle says with a smirk on her face:

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@ -80,7 +80,7 @@
potatoes. Want some?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Now that you ask, I&apos;m slowly getting
hungry. Did you make your usual spicy dip?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Yup.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Well, as best I could...</span><br />
He gets up and walks over to the kitchen area, grabs a small bowl filled
with a dark red-ish paste, and sets it on the table.<br />
<span class="quote speech">I had to improvise a little due to
@ -91,8 +91,9 @@
<span class="quote speech">The flakes they left us just aren&apos;t
the same as fresh peppers. I had to add <i>a lot</i> to get even close
to the usual spiciness.</span><br />
He grabs the <span class="comment">Backblech?</span> with potatoes
and puts it back in the oven to re-heat.
<!-- Or maybe, I just like pain lately. -->
He grabs the baking sheet with potatoes and puts it back in the oven to
re-heat.
</p>
<p>
After the meal, they go to the bunker entrance and Jack opens the door
@ -109,8 +110,7 @@
The two decide to walk up to a <span class="comment">crest? ridge?</span>
not far from them on the other side of the valley. Beyond it is Ivydale,
once a large city housing just over a million people &ndash; only one of
<span class="comment">who? whom? which?</span> remains to behold its
overgrown ruins.
whom remains to behold its overgrown ruins.
<br />
<span class="comment">Jack is from Sentinel Shores.</span><br />
Michelle says: <span class="quote speech">I mean I knew it already but
@ -123,12 +123,13 @@
After a long while, she says: <span class="quote speech">Okay,
let&apos;s go take a look at that uplink.</span><br />
The two get up and walk back towards the bunker, looking for a path
somewhere to the left of it.<br />
Jack points to a structure a decent bit up the mountain and says:
<span class="quote speech">I think that&apos;s it.</span><br />
somewhere to the left of it. Jack points to a structure a decent bit up
the mountain.<br />
He says: <span class="quote speech">I think that&apos;s one of
the staircases.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Oh wow, there isn&apos;t much left.</span>
<br />
Jack points at a few other things below it.<br />
Jack points at a few other things below it:
<span class="quote speech">I think these are also part of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
@ -143,9 +144,9 @@
the uplink is down &ndash; it literally ...<i>is&nbsp;down</i>...</span>
<br />
Michelle reaches the edge and and sees what Jack had stopped for:
A large <span class="comment">wash?</span> extends downwards
from the top of the mountain where a landslide had left nothing but
a cliff and a huge pile of rubble. At the top of the mountain, teetering
A landslide and the erosion afterwards had left a deep wash extending
downwards from the top of the mountain, leaving nothing but a cliff and
a huge pile of rubble. At the top of the mountain, teetering
on the edge, are two buildings &ndash; all that&apos;s left of the ground
station. The rest of the buildings and the dish lay strewn around
in pieces down below.

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@ -16,8 +16,7 @@
She runs back. Platform 6 is nowhere to be seen.
</p>
<p>
Someone grabs her by
the shoulder.<br />
Someone grabs her by the shoulder.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Michelle?</span><br />
She opens her eyes and lifts her head, looking around in confusion.
It&apos;s dark. A tiny bit of flickering light illuminates the room
@ -93,5 +92,14 @@
for this wonderful dialog. :)<br />
I&apos;m not sure if I should keep it though, because this isn&apos;t
gonna go anywhere.</span>
<!--
Jack&apos;s reaction could possibly be modified to be explicitly
non-romantic.
Or break the fourth wall and say:
"Editor's note: Yup, they cringed about it."
I would rather not do that though, at least not without it being a
<span class="comment"> which is not part of the story.
-->
</p>
<p class="copyright">Copyright &#169; 2023-2025 Jan Danielzick (aka. BodgeMaster) &ndash; All rights reserved.</p><script>let spans = ["<span class=\"paper green\">", "<span>"]; let pre_texts = document.getElementsByTagName("pre"); for (let i = 0; i < pre_texts.length; i++) {if (pre_texts[i].className != "paper") continue; let lines = pre_texts[i].innerHTML.split("\n"); let result = ""; for (let j = 0; j < lines.length; j++) {if (lines[j].length >= 80) result = result + spans[j%2] + lines[j] + "</span>\n"; else result = result + spans[j%2] + lines[j] + " ".repeat(80-lines[j].length) + "</span>\n";} pre_texts[i].innerHTML = result;}</script></body></html>

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@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ going with this so I'll just leave it in here, commented out.
to the fuel pressure gauge, slightly raising his voice to talk over
the engine:<br />
<span class="quote speech">That&apos;s progress already.</span><br />
The needle on the gauge slowly creeps to the right.<br />
The needle on the gauge slowly creeps towards the right.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Too slow though</span>, he adds after a
moment.<br />
He holds the button for a while, the engine keeps turning over,

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@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
<h1> First Steps Outside</h1>
<p>
The station is is much larger than any of the metro stations inside the
The station is much larger than any of the metro stations inside the
dome. It has many platforms. Portions of the tall roof, supported by
large stone pillars and rusty steel beams, have caved in and what&apos;s
still standing has holes. Rays of light poke through the roof and holes
@ -123,16 +123,13 @@
to follow. After what feels like an eternity, she manages to get half-way
down the wall.<br />
<span class="quote speech">You can jump from there.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Are you sure? <span class="comment">translate:
Ich trau mich nicht.</span></span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Are you sure?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Just don&apos;t try to land standing up.
<span class="comment">Winkel&apos; Deine Knie etwas an</span> and
you&apos;ll be fine.</span><br />
Bend your knees a bit and you&apos;ll be fine.</span><br />
Annie hesitates. She climbs down another one of the sandstone blocks.
She looks down, looks back to the wall, looks down again, and finally
pushes herself off. Annie lands <span class="comment">adverb?</span>
and Jack helps her up. They make their way across the fast-flowing river
by stepping on large stones in the water, and continue through the bushes
towards the bunker.
pushes herself off. She lands with a heavy thud and Jack helps her up.
They make their way across the fast-flowing river by stepping on large
stones in the water, and continue through the bushes towards the bunker.
</p>
<p class="copyright">Copyright &#169; 2023-2025 Jan Danielzick (aka. BodgeMaster) &ndash; All rights reserved.</p><script>let spans = ["<span class=\"paper green\">", "<span>"]; let pre_texts = document.getElementsByTagName("pre"); for (let i = 0; i < pre_texts.length; i++) {if (pre_texts[i].className != "paper") continue; let lines = pre_texts[i].innerHTML.split("\n"); let result = ""; for (let j = 0; j < lines.length; j++) {if (lines[j].length >= 80) result = result + spans[j%2] + lines[j] + "</span>\n"; else result = result + spans[j%2] + lines[j] + " ".repeat(80-lines[j].length) + "</span>\n";} pre_texts[i].innerHTML = result;}</script></body></html>

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@ -32,8 +32,7 @@
<span class="comment">research todo: radio protocol</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Michelle, we&apos;re just entering the
valley.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">We? Someone came along?</span><br />
<span class="comment">wording? translate: mitgekommen</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">We? You got company?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Annie.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">I see. Am cooking &ndash; any food allergies
or other dietary restrictions I should watch out for?</span><br />
@ -64,8 +63,6 @@
more minutes and reach the bunker. As they approach, the person they saw
earlier &ndash; presumably Michelle &ndash; comes out of the bunker and
adds some ingredients to a pot on a tripod over the flames.
<span class="comment">Is there a word for these metal rings with three
legs?</span>
Jack introduces the two to each other &ndash; it <i>is</i> Michelle.
<br />
<span class="quote speech">So you join us out here after all?</span>
@ -83,11 +80,10 @@
<span class="quote speech">Is that a dog? There&apos;s a dog here!</span>
<br />
A medium-sized, brown dog runs out, sniffs them all, barks and then runs
off on the road, disappearing around a <span class="comment">translate:
Felsvorsprung</span>. A moment later, it comes back, followed by a guy
wearing a long, dark green coat that has been patched a few times.
He is wearing a backpack and holds a long staff, using it as a
<span class="comment">Wanderstab? Cane?</span>.
off on the road, disappearing around an outcrop. A moment later, it
comes back, followed by a guy wearing a long, dark green coat that has
been patched a few times. He is wearing a backpack and holds a long
staff, using it as a walking stick.
</p>
<p>
The stranger says: <span class="quote speech">Good evening!</span><br />

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@ -7,10 +7,9 @@
<span class="quote speech">Wanna drive?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Sure.</span><br />
He puts the map back, hands her the keys, and the four get in the truck.
James joins Michelle in the front and has Dora jump in
<span class="comment">translate: in seinen Fu&szlig;raum</span>, Annie
and Jack take the rear seats. A few moments later, Michelle pulls onto
the street in front of the bunker.<br />
James joins Michelle in the front and has Dora jump into the footwell at
his feet, Annie and Jack take the rear seats. A few moments later,
Michelle pulls onto the street in front of the bunker.<br />
James asks her: <span class="quote speech">How far is it?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">A decent bit. Used to be about an hour on the
highway. If it&apos;s in even somewhat decent shape, I&apos;d say

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@ -14,9 +14,8 @@
Lena shakes her head.<br />
<span class="quote speech">I don&apos;t want to spend my remaining days
alone. Just don&apos;t do it, please.</span><br />
Emily gets up and paces around the module. <span class="comment"> Is that
proper grammar?</span> Her eyes fall on the drawers in the adjacent
maintenance module. An idea forms in her head...<br />
Emily gets up and paces around the module. Her eyes fall on the drawers
in the adjacent maintenance module. An idea forms in her head...<br />
<span class="quote speech">Emily, where are you going?</span><br />
She steps inside and rummages through a bunch of drawers, leaving them
open as she opens the next one.<br />

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@ -49,9 +49,9 @@
roughly sorted into categories:
Hand tools, boxes full of hardware, household chemicals, bars of soap,
a few clocks and watches, books, and more. Half of the store seems to be
dedicated to food &ndash; though the shelves are mostly empty.
In the back is a counter. Jack is talking to the man behind it who
appears to be in his 60s.<br />
dedicated to food &ndash; though these shelves are mostly empty.
In the back is a counter, overlooking the whole store. Jack is talking
to the man behind it who appears to be in his 60s.<br />
The man says: <span class="quote speech">No, we don&apos;t sell food.
What you see there is strictly rationed. Since the <span class="comment"
>river name</span> has changed course, we don&apos;t even have enough
@ -93,7 +93,7 @@
<p>
While they wait, the small dog runs up again. They play fetch until
a group of people approaches, the man from the store among them.
A few handshakes later, Jack repeats his suggestion. A man in his 40s,
A few handshakes later, Jack repeats his pitch. A man in his 40s,
who seems to be in charge, says:
<span class="quote speech">Your intentions are ... ambitious. I doubt
you can do it but I don&apos;t see why we shouldn&apos;t let you try.
@ -116,6 +116,9 @@
<span class="quote speech">We&apos;ll need at least two.</span><br />
A few members of the group discuss among themselves for a moment.
Then, the one in charge turns to Jack again:<br />
<span class="quote speech">If you can do it within two weeks, we&apos;ll
provide food for two months.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Challenge accepted.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Okay, we have a deal.</span><br />
A few people keep questioning Jack and the feasibility of his idea.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Ladies and gentlemen, whether it can be done

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@ -29,21 +29,26 @@
over there &ndash; and preferably without trees growing out of
it...</span><br />
He points to a small excavator that sits askew on a thick tree trunk
that had grown thrugh the floor and out the side.
<span class="comment">Do these tiny excavators with large glass cabs
have a specific name?</span><br />
that had grown through the floor and out the side.
<span class="comment">Compact excavator? Tiny excavator?</span><br />
James asks: <span class="quote speech">Why not just use this one?
What&apos;s wrong with it?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">This thing&apos;s just done for. Apart from it
being a pile of rust, it&apos;s missing its tracks <span class="comment">
treads?</span>, the hydraulics for moving the bucket, and it looks like
the inside of the cab got completely dismantled.</span><br />
being a pile of rust, it&apos;s missing its tracks, the hydraulics for
moving the bucket, and it looks like the inside of the cab got completely
dismantled.</span><br />
They take a quick look at the other machines around them. There is the
other, much smaller excavator, a <span class="comment">Kipper?</span>,
a <span class="comment">Wie hei&szlig;t diese Maschine mit
F&ouml;rderband, die Material sortiert?</span>, and two
<span class="comment">Radlader? Baccos?</span>. All of them are rusted
beyond repair and missing integral parts.<br />
other, much smaller excavator, a dump truck, a <span class="comment">
what's the name of that machine with a conveyor belt that sorts
large rocks and rubble from sand?
<!--
ChatGPT says "screening plant" but also refers to it as a
"vibrating belt sorter". Research that.
It also gives a good description of what it does:
"splits rubble into chunks, fines, and dust."
-->
</span>, and two loaders. All of them
are rusted beyond repair and missing integral parts.<br />
</p>
<p>
A bit further down the valley, they approach a much larger collection of
@ -56,10 +61,9 @@
<span class="quote speech">So these machines dug out the dome?</span>
<br />
<span class="quote speech">Well... no. That was mostly done using
explosives, conveyor belts, and trains. They used <span class="comment">
Radlader? Baccos?</span> to load stuff onto the conveyors but most of
the machines here were used in construction after the digging was
done.</span><br />
explosives, conveyor belts, and trains. They used loaders to get the
stuff onto conveyors but most of the machines here were used in
construction after the digging was done.</span><br />
</p>
<p class="comment">
research that needs to be done:
@ -74,15 +78,31 @@
Annie calls the others over to one of the buildings.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Look what I found...</span><br />
Michelle arrives before Jack and she laughs. He arrives a moment
later and peeks inside. There sits a <span class="comment">
cable shovel?</span>, partially covered in rubble from the caved-in
roof &ndash; rusty but surprisingly intact.<br />
later and peeks inside. There sits a cable shovel, partially covered
in rubble from the caved-in roof &ndash; rusty but surprisingly intact.
<br />
Jack says: <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s ... uhhh ... kind of
a historical artifact.</span><br />
<!--
"I mean, everything here is a historical artifact."
"Fair enough, but this especially so."
There is also a kinda small hydraulic excavator.
They decide to make both work.
-->
This is for another chapter but here is a list of things they might do:
- strip parts off of other machines
- modify or create parts at the Ivydale train yard
- swap out a beyond-repair engine - with a different one that
doesn't fit ofc
- weld things to the machines for botched but improved
structural integrity
- maybe come up with an alternative for hydraulic fluid if it isn't too
far fetched, alternatively scavenge it from other machines or trade
for it
- find a grabber attachment for the excavator
- DIY electronics
-->
</p>
<p>
<span class="comment">missing section</span>

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@ -40,10 +40,10 @@
</p>
<p>
After a while, she gets it loose and it falls towards her.
She struggles to keep her balance for a moment as the cover lands wedged
between her legs and the central <span class="comment">post? beam?</span>
holding the dish. With some effort, she manages to wrangle it to th other
side of the cable.<br />
She struggles to keep her balance for a moment as the cover lands
wedged between her legs and the central support beam holding the dish.
With some effort, she manages to wrangle it to the other side of the
cable.<br />
<span class="quote speech">James, Annie, can you catch this? Careful,
it&apos;s heavy.</span><br />
The two stand across from each other and extend their arms. Michelle

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@ -13,22 +13,21 @@
said.<br />
<span class="quote speech">...ohhhhh. Congrats!</span><br />
The guards grab her by the arms and drag her away.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Move.</span>
<span class="quote speech">Move!</span>
</p>
<p>
They bring her to a room adjacent to the main court room where a bunch
of important-looking people in suits are waiting for her. They introduce
themselves and they all, including herself, sit down around a somewhat
large table. One of the suits takes the word:<br />
<span class="comment">Does that work in English?</span><br />
large table. One of the suits addresses her:<br />
<span class="quote speech">Before you go to trial, we have something
to discuss with you. You are being accused of breaking and entering,
robbery, interfering with law enforcement, compromising operationally
critical systems, and conspiracy of terrorism. Some of these charges
alone will land you in prison for a long time &ndash; unless you take
this deal...</span><br />
He grabs few sheets of paper from his bag <span class="comment">
Aktentasche?</span> and slides them over.<br />
He grabs few sheets of paper from his briefcase and slides them over.
<br />
<span class="quote speech">Basically admit to everything you&apos;re
accused of and you will be banished instead of going to prison.</span>
<br />
@ -46,8 +45,7 @@
<span class="quote speech">And in practical terms?</span><br />
Another one of the suits answers:
<span class="quote speech">There is an ongoing power outage to parts
of the city. We will have to send a group of people
<span class="comment">delegation?</span> outside to fix it.
of the city. We will have to send an expedition outside to fix it.
You will join them and not return.</span><br />
She looks back at the pages.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Okaay.</span><br />

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@ -175,7 +175,7 @@
thinking about them. She walks to the <span class="comment">???</span>
module and lays down on the floor staring into the sky.
<span class="comment">This module has to be described at some point
before this. It has panorama windows to all sides and a glass ceiling.
</span>
before this. It has panorama windows to all sides and a ceiling of large
glass panels.</span>
</p>
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@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
drrrrrrrrinnng
</p>
<p>
Emily finds herself laying on the floor, still staring into the sky.
Emily finds herself lying on the floor, still staring into the sky.
She has no idea how long she had been laying here, but it must have been
many hours.
</p>
@ -34,11 +34,11 @@
</p>
<p>
<span class="quote speech">On my way, I&apos;m on my way.</span> she
says in a soft <span class="comment">matten?</span> voice as she starts
walking. The phone rings a few more times but stops before she can make
it there. She enters the main control room and heads over to the
communications section where she finds the terminal lit up. She sits
down and, without reading the message there, starts typing.
says in a soft, faint voice as she starts walking. The phone rings a few
more times but stops before she can make it there. She enters the main
control room and heads over to the communications section where she finds
the terminal lit up. She sits down and, without reading the message
there, starts typing.
</p>
<pre class="terminal">
<span class="blur">Incoming connection. This is blurred text. You shouldn&apos;t be able to read it.</span>
@ -65,7 +65,7 @@ MICHELLE @ EARTH-53 <b>&gt;</b> Ok. Ctrl+B us a few times when you&apos;re back.
rack. She hesitates for a moment before grabbing one. With the other
hand, she opens the tap. It starts spitting a brown liquid with clumps.
<span class="quote speech">Ugh.</span> She opens it up fully and waits
for the water to clear up &ndash; and then waits a bit more just to be
for the water to clear up &ndash; and then waits a bit longer just to be
sure. Finally, she fills up the beaker and takes a cautious sip.
Tastes fine.
</p>

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@ -5,10 +5,10 @@
<p>
<span class="quote speech">Good morning, Annie! Pancakes are ready.</span>
<br />
Jack takes his hand off her shoulder. She pushes herself up from her bed
and looks around in confusion. James is driving the bus on a surprisingly
very intact highway through a seemingly endless landscape of sand and
sparse vegetation. The sun is already high up in the sky and
Jack takes his hand off her shoulder. She pushes herself up from
her bed and looks around in confusion. James is driving the bus on
a surprisingly very intact highway through a seemingly endless landscape
of sand and sparse vegetation. The sun is already high in the sky and
yesterday&apos;s mountains are in the distance far behind them. Jack goes
to wake up Michelle, then he tells James who stops the bus and turns off
the engine.
@ -20,18 +20,15 @@
He also places a few jars on the table:
Honey, Chocco <span class="comment">TODO: Add an advert for Chocco
somewhere earlier in the story. It&apos;s the in-universe equivalent
of Nutella.</span>, and cinnamon with sugar <span class="comment">Is that
combination as ubiquitous worldwide as it is in Germany? If so, does it
have a proper name?</span>. James gets up from the driver's seat and Dora
follows him, wagging her tail. They all sit down around the table,
including Dora who sits on the floor and <span class="comment">macht
gro&szlig;e augen</span>.<br />
<span class="comment">What is the English command for a dog to lay
down?</span>
of Nutella.</span>, and cinnamon sugar. James gets up from the driver's
seat and Dora follows him, wagging her tail. They all sit down around
the table, including Dora who sits on the floor and gives them big puppy
eyes.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Dora, down.&emsp;&emsp;&emsp;Good girl!</span>
</p>
<p>
Michelle asks: <span class="quote speech">So when are we gonna reach
the &lt;mining company&gt; pit?</span><br />
the <span class="comment">mining company</span> pit?</span><br />
Jack looks at James. James tilts his head slightly and shrugs.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Like five hours ago?</span><br />
<!-- Jack's shift until midnight, James' shift until 6AM, plan was for
@ -66,8 +63,8 @@
</p>
<p>
James returns inside and yawns.<br />
<span class="quote speech">The idea of a nap is very entising
<span class="comment">spelling?</span> right about now...</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">The idea of a nap is very enticing right
about now...</span><br />
Michelle says: <span class="quote speech">Well, you&apos;ve earned
it.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Thinking about it but not yet...</span><br />

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@ -11,11 +11,10 @@
<p>
Michelle gets her attention: <span class="quote speech">Look, almost
there!</span><br />
She getures to the left. Annie leans out of her seat and back to see what
Michelle is pointing to. An undefined shape is visible in the far
distance. Michelle takes an exit onto another highway in that direction.
After not too long, the undefined shape turns into the unmistakable
skyline of a large city.
She gestures to the left. Annie looks in the direction. An undefined
shape is visible in the far distance. Michelle takes an exit onto another
highway towards it. After not too long, the undefined shape turns into
the unmistakable skyline of a large city.
</p>
<p>
They pass a huge sign with completely washed-out colors that still
@ -32,7 +31,7 @@
<span class="quote speech">Why are you going so slow?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Im going exactly speed limit - 50 km/h.</span>
<br />
<span class="quote speech">50? That's faster than the speed limit in
<span class="quote speech">50? That&apos;s faster than the speed limit in
Sunside Cove yet this feels so slow...</span><br />
Michelle chuckles.<br />
<span class="quote speech">This is what it feels like coming off the
@ -43,8 +42,8 @@
The buildings around them get taller and taller. The mix of smaller and
medium-sized houses turns into blocks of five-story buildings which in
turn turn into blocks of even taller buildings until the sides are lined
with sky scrapers with facades of glass, concrete, and steel towering
over over the road. Annie points them out:<br />
with skyscrapers with facades of glass, concrete, and steel towering
over the road. Annie points them out:<br />
<span class="quote speech">Looks like this was all abandoned just
recently. Not even a smashed window.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Over there.</span><br />
@ -60,7 +59,8 @@
is Nova Metropolis. Well, all of them but Jack.<br />
Michelle says: <span class="quote speech">I thought sleep was for
the weak?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">I'm just gonna own that one today.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">I&apos;m just gonna own that one today.</span>
<br />
He throws himself onto his bed, not even making an effort to lay down in
a comfortable position. His words are muffled through the mattres:
<span class="quote speech">Good night.</span>

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@ -1,9 +1,8 @@
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<h1>Landing Troubles</h1>
<p>
The escape pod <span class="comment">Is there a word that makes this sound
more like it&apos;s the technical term?</span> enters the atmosphere with
a jolt. <span class="comment">Honestly, I have no idea what it is like to
The emergency escape vehicle enters the atmosphere with a jolt.
<span class="comment">Honestly, I have no idea what it is like to
enter the atmosphere. Needs research.</span> The displays on the control
panel flicker and start showing random symbols. Error messages start
scrolling over the screen. <span class="quote speech">Uh oh.</span>
@ -15,13 +14,14 @@
keyboard. The screen clears and shows the word &quot;HALTED&quot;.
<!-- TODO: replace this with SPARCstation Stop+A -->
Then, she flips a bunch of switches to unlock the controls. Clicking and
clanging under the control panel. <span class="comment">Throttle lever and
position controls start floating</span> Looking at the next page of her
notes, she realizes that the order has been messed up. Again, she
scrambles through the pages until she finds the next instructions.
&quot;Wait until the external pressure gauge reads &lt;xyz&gt; and release
the heat shield.&quot; She looks at the analog gauges at the top of the
panel - there it ts. &lt;less than xyz value&gt;.
clanging under the control panel. The throttle levers and position
controls start floating. Looking at the next page of her notes, she
realizes that the order has been messed up. Again, she scrambles through
the pages until she finds the next instructions.
<span class="quote non-speech">Wait until the external pressure gauge
reads <span class="comment">xyz</span> and release the heat shield.</span>
She looks at the analog gauges at the top of the panel - there it is.
<span class="comment">barely less than xyz value</span>.
</p>
<p>
The shield detaches with a bang. Emily flips the switch for the fuel

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@ -63,9 +63,8 @@
Michelle interrupts the silence: <span class="quote speech">Guys, over
there!</span> She points into the sky behind them.
<span class="quote speech">A parachute...</span><br />
<span class="comment">Jack: She has more luck than sense.</span><br />
<span class="comment">reaction needed &ndash; something along the lines
of &quot;Sie hat mehr Gl&uuml;ck als Verstand&quot;</span><br />
Jack says: <span class="quote speech">This girl has more luck than
sense.</span><br />
They watch as it disappears between the buildings.
</p>
<p>
@ -73,14 +72,14 @@
Jack had insisted on bringing.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Maybe, she can hear us from here...</span>
<br />
She hooks up the battery, flips the power switch, and turns the frequency
dial until the needle is in the position that Jack had marked.<br />
She hooks up the battery, flips the power switch, and nudges the frequency
dial until the needle is in the position Jack had marked.<br />
<span class="comment">Note to self: The battery is a car battery. Make
that clear at some point before this chapter. Maybe include the part where
Jack insists on bringing it.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Emily, can you hear us? Are you okay?</span>
<br />
They hear a slightly distorted but clearly happy response through the
They hear a slightly distorted but audibly relieved response through the
noise:<br />
<span class="quote speech">Yes... Yes. I&apos;m alive... I made it.</span>
<br />