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'ka' I Like Trains: revision, fill in a gap

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BodgeMaster 2024-01-17 09:05:06 +01:00
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<!DOCTYPE html><html><head><title> I Like Trains </title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="html_resources/style.css"></head><body><a href="index.html"><button class="back">&lt;</button></a>
<h1>I Like Trains</h1>
<p class="comment">
Context: They are exploring the Ivydale train yard
</p>
<p>
<span class="quote speech">Michelle! Look what I found...</span><br />
She climbs through the gap between the rotting cars on the adjacent
track.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Where are you?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Michelle! Guess what I found...</span><br />
She climbs through the gap between rotting cars on the adjacent track.
<br />
<span class="quote speech">No idea. Where are you?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Up here.</span><br />
Jack is standing on the rather sketchy-looking roof of one of the
trains. Michelle climbs onto the link between cars and Jack helps her
to the top.<br />
Jack is standing on top of one of the metro trains. Michelle climbs onto
the link between cars, from there onto the the edge of the broken
windshield, and Jack helps her up to the rather sketchy-looking roof.
<br />
<span class="quote speech">Look, over there...</span><br />
He points across the deteriorating metro trains towards the outermost
track of the overgrown train yard. A small roof - or in places what
remains of it - extends over the track from the side of a large building.
He points across the deteriorating trains, towards the outermost track of
the overgrown train yard. A small roof &ndash; or in places what remains
of it &ndash; extends over the track from the side of a large building.
Several tank cars sit under it. Some are rusted through or missing
parts, but a few look like they might still hold liquids.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Oh, wow! Maybe there&apos;s some gas left in
@ -27,67 +25,86 @@
They climb back down and make their way over to one of the tank cars.
Jack clmbs onto the side of the car and attempts to use the ladder
leading to the top. It crumbles under his feet.
<span class="quote speech">I guess I found the way down - hey, use me as
a ladder.</span> He leans against the tank and helps her up on top of it.
<span class="quote speech">I guess I found the way down &ndash; hey, use
me as a ladder.</span> He leans against the tank and helps her on top of
it.
<span class="comment">Wording!! &quot;ladder&quot; and &quot;helps&quot;
reads weird twice in a row</span>
</p>
<p>
Michelle inspects the lid. It&apos;s held on with large nuts.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Do we have a wrench or something?</span><br />
Jack looks around.<br />
<span class="quote speech">I don&apos;t know. Lemme take a look inside
<span class="quote speech">I don&apos;t know. Lemme take a look in
there...</span><br />
He disappears through an opening in the wall where used to be a door.
After a moment, he reappears, triumphantly holding a large adjustable
After a moment, he reappears, triumphantly holding a huge adjustable
wrench.<br />
<span class="quote speech">It&apos;s a bit rusty but should do the
job.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">I&apos;m afraid to see what you call very
rusty.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">This thing, for example.</span><br />
He knocks it against the side of the tank causing more pieces of the
ladder to break off. Then, he hands the wrench to her. After a bit of
fiddling, she manages to get a good grip on one of the nuts holding the
lid in place - it doesn&apos;t budge.<br />
He hits the ladder with it, causing a large section of it to break off
and crumble. Then, he hands her the wrench. After a bit of fiddling, she
manages to get a good grip on one of the nuts holding the lid in place
&ndash; it doesn&apos;t budge.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Need a hammer or something?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Can you hand me that pipe? It should
<span class="quote speech">One of these pipes over there should
do.</span><br />
Jack picks up a section of metal pipe and passes it to her. Putting it
over the wrench for additional leverage, she pushes against it until the
bolt snaps with a bang.<br />
<span class="quote speech">That&apos;s certainly one of the ways to undo
a nut.</span><br />
She moves on to the next one.
</p>
<p class="comment">
missing section: Michelle opens the lid and finds some disappointing
fact - it&apos;s empty or whatever<br />
then repeat for another one
a nut</span>, she says before moving on to the next one.
</p>
<p>
The contents of the next tank are more promising.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Smells like diesel... We should go find a
truck or something to drive around.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Okay, uhh, stupid idea but I need to show you
something.</span> Jack grins.<br />
One by one, she removes the other nuts. Some of them snap off, some
unscrew with considerable force. She lets go of the pipe and attempts
to lift the lid &ndash; it&apos;s still stuck in place. Using the wrench
as a hammer, she whacks it until it comes loose.<br />
<span class="quote speech">There&apos;s nothing in here.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech"><i>Great.</i> I guess there are a bunch more
we can try...</span> <span class="comment">needs a better reaction, may
want to state disappointment explicitly</span><br />
She jumps down onto the edge of the car.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Looks like we&apos;ll be climbing a bunch of
tank cars today.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Let&apos;s see about that... Mind giving me
the wrench for a moment?</span><br />
She hands it back to Jack. He uses it to knock against the wall of the
next tank.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Sounds empty.</span>
</p>
<p>
The third tank seems more promising. It only makes a dull <i>clunk</i>
when Jack hits it with the wrench. He helps Michelle on top again.
The nuts on this one come off more easily and it doesn&apos;t take
long until she lifts the lid.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Jackpot! Smells like diesel.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Stupid idea but I need to show you
something.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Oh no, what are you up to again?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Nothing in particular... Wanna follow me for a
sec?</span><br />
Michelle jumps down onto the edge of the car, then to the ground and
follows him to the entrance.
sec?</span>
</p>
<p>
He walks over the door on the floor, past a counter to the left, into the
wide open hall. It is dimly lit by the light that makes it through the
dirty windows and small holes in the surprisingly intact roof.
Michelle jumps down and follows him to the entrance of the building.
They walk over the door on the floor, past a counter to the left, into
the wide open hall. It is dimly lit by the light that makes it through
the dirty windows and small holes in the surprisingly intact roof.
<span class="comment">note: Make it more clear that the windows are
below the roof. Also, I imagine them to be milky windows for some reason.
</span> A few rows of large industrial shelves on the other side of the
hall hold partially rotting crates. On either side of the area with the
shelves are spacious areas with machine tools, small cranes, and other
machinery. A few plants grow here and there. A single train track goes
through the center of the hall with additional tracks for a gantry crane
to either side of it. At the end of the hall to the right, below the
rusty crane, sits a train wrapped up in tarps.
hall hold partially rotting crates. To either side of them are open
spaces with machine tools, small cranes, and other machinery. A few
plants grow here and there. Through the center of the hall leads a
single train track with additional sets of rails for a gantry crane
besides it. At the end of the hall to the right, below the rusty crane,
sits a train wrapped up in tarps.
</p>
<p class="comment">
The following dialog nededs to go / be entirely rewritten.
</p>
<p>
<span class="quote speech">Stupid idea indeed</span>, she says while