'ph' Diesel Creek: revision

ph-diesel_creek.html

@@ -8,59 +8,47 @@
   The four are walking into a valley in a large forested area.<br />
   Jack replies: <span class="quote speech">Right now, I&apos;m not even
   sure this is the place &ndash; everything looks so different &ndash; but
-  if it is, we&apos;ll have plenty machines to choose from and a bunch
-  more for parts.</span><br />
-  James gestures to the side:
-  <span class="quote speech">Look, over there.</span><br />
-  He points to a group of very rusty and completely overgrown machines.
+  if it is, we&apos;ll have plenty to choose from and a bunch more for
+  parts.</span><br />
+  James takes a sudden step to the side and rips the ivy off a roughly
+  knee-high, square concrete post.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">This of any use to you?</span><br />
+  The post has numbers engraved in all four sides.<br />
+  Jack reads two of them: <span class="quote speech">1581, 8480. Yup. This
+  is indeed the place.</span>
+</p>
+<p>
+  A bit further down the valley, they come across a large, rusty machine.
   <br />
-  Jack says: <span class="quote speech">Oh yeah, so we <i>are</i> in the
-  right place.</span><br />
-  They walk towards them to take a closer look.<br />
-  Annie asks: <span class="quote speech">How did these machines get between
-  the trees?</span><br />
-  Jack says: <span class="quote speech">They didn&apos;t. This wasn&apos;t
-  a forest then. The machines came first, the trees grew after.</span>
-</p>
-<p>
-  After a short look at the machines, Jack says:
-  <span class="quote speech">Looks like these were already out of order
-  before they were abandoned.</span>
-  He turns to Annie and James, and explains:
+  Annie wonders: <span class="quote speech">How did this thing get
+  between the trees?</span><br />
+  Jack says: <span class="quote speech">Someone drove it here before
+  the they grew. There were large cleared areas and access roads through
+  the forest back then.</span><br />
+  They walk up to it and take a look.<br />
+  Jack turns to Annie and James, and says:
   <span class="quote speech">This is an excavator. We&apos;re looking for
-  a big one like this, maybe a bit smaller, but not as small as that one
-  over there &ndash; and preferably without trees growing out of
-  it...</span><br />
-  He points to a mini excavator sitting askew on the trunk of a tree that
-  had grown through its floor and out the side.<br />
-  James asks: <span class="quote speech">Why not just use this big one?
-  What&apos;s wrong with it?</span><br />
+  a big one like this, but in better condition.</span><br />
+  James asks: <span class="quote speech">What&apos;s wrong with this
+  one?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">This thing&apos;s just done for. It&apos;s
-  more rust than steel, missing its tracks and the hydraulics up there,
-  and it looks like someone got a bit carried away trying to remove the
-  cab.</span><br />
-  <!-- change repetetive wording -->
-  They take a quick look at the other machines around them. Apart from the
-  two excavators, there is a dump truck, a <span class="comment"> what's
-  the name of that machine with a conveyor belt that sorts large rocks and
-  rubble from sand?
-  <!--
-    ChatGPT says "screening plant" but also refers to it as a
-    "vibrating belt sorter". Research that.
-    It also gives a good description of what it does:
-    "splits rubble into chunks, fines, and dust."
-  -->
-  </span>, and two loaders. All of them
-  are rusted beyond repair and missing integral parts.<br />
+  more rust than steel, missing its tracks, the hydraulics up there have
+  been removed, and it looks like someone got a bit carried away
+  <i>trying</i> to do the same with the cab.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Why&apos;d they do that?</span><br />
+  <span class="comment">Todo: rephrase above question</span></br/>
+  <span class="quote speech">Probably parted out to fix other
+  machines.</span><br />
+  They continue walking.
 </p>
 <p>
-  A bit further down the valley, they find a much larger assortment of
-  machines, parked in long rows and parted out just like the first ones
-  they saw.<br />
+  After a while, they find themselves in a large, flattened area at the
+  bottom of the valley. It is full of machines standing between the trees,
+  forming long rows and parted out just like the excavator they saw.<br />
   Jack says: <span class="quote speech">Welcome to the machine graveyard.
   If memory serves right, there should be a few buildings back there and
   one of the main parking lots behind them.</span><br />
-  While they make their way through between the machines, Annie asks:<br />
+  While they make their way over, Annie asks:
   <span class="quote speech">So these machines dug out the dome?</span>
   <br />
   <span class="quote speech">Well... no. That was mostly done using
@@ -70,11 +58,10 @@
 </p>
 <p>
   The buildings are in rough shape, some much worse than others. Most
-  don&apos;t have rooves, a few have been completely reduced to foundations
-  and piles of rubble. The four walk through a gap between them and find
-  themselves on the parking lot. Instead of a forest, they find it mostly
-  overgrown with bushes and young trees. They split up and start roaming
-  the area.
+  don&apos;t have rooves, a few have been completely reduced to piles of
+  rubble on a foundation. On the other side, as Jack had said, is a parking
+  lot. Instead of a forest, they find it mostly overgrown with bushes and
+  young trees. They split up and start roaming the area.
 </p>
 <p class="comment">
   research that needs to be done:<br />
@@ -94,21 +81,27 @@
   rusty on the outside but looks otherwise surprisingly intact.<br />
   He says: <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s ... uhhh ... kind of
   a historical artifact.</span><br />
-  James arrives as well, saying: <span class="quote speech">I mean,
-  everything here is a historical artifact...</span><br />
+  James, who is just arriving, hears it and says:
+  <span class="quote speech">I mean, everything here is a historical
+  artifact...</span><br />
   Jack responds: <span class="quote speech">Fair enough, but this thing
   especially so.</span><br />
-  They step into the building and take a closer look. Michelle climbs onto
-  the back of the machine and opens an access panel.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Just about mint condition in here &ndash;
-  compared to the rest at least... Looks like might fire right up.
-  Anyone see a crank for this baby?</span><br />
+  They step into the building.<br />
+  Michelle says: <span class="quote speech">Looks like it could just work
+  if we tried.</span><br />
+  Jack says: <span class="quote speech">I think we should look for a more
+  modern option first.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">I agree we should look for something more
+  modern, but might as well take a free win.</span><br />
+  She climbs onto the back of the machine and opens an access panel.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Just about mint condition in here. This thing
+  might fire right up. Anyone see a crank for this baby?</span><br />
   She pats the side of a small engine that sits on top of a much larger
   engine.
 </p>
 <p>
-  They start looking around the place, in the rotting shelves and in the
-  rubble on the floor. Michelle jumps down and joins them. After a while,
+  They start looking around in the rotting shelves and in the rubble on
+  the floor. Michelle jumps down and joins them. After a while,
   Jack spots some rust right behind the rear end of the machine. He moves
   some leaves aside and picks up a metal rod with two bends.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">You mean this one?</span><br />
@@ -122,7 +115,7 @@
   She unscrews the cap from the small fuel tank on top of it and peeks
   inside.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Well that can&apos;t work.</span><br />
-  She jumps off and checks the tank for the main engine.<br />
+  She jumps down and checks the tank for the main engine.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Nope.</span>
 </p>
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