'ga', 'pk': minor revision

km-ran_when_parked.html

@@ -40,12 +40,13 @@ going with this so I'll just leave it in here, commented out.
   <span class="quote speech">That was quick &ndash; nice job.</span><br />
   Jack walks over to the compartment holding the batteries, takes the
   cables off the terminals, and hooks them up to the generator he had
-  turned into a makeshift power supply. He starts it and climbs into
+  turned into a makeshift power supply. He pulls the ripcord and it
-  the train. Michelle follows him and they go to the driver&apos;s cabin.
+  fires right up, then he climbs into the train. Michelle follows him
-  Jack turns a key switch and part of the dashboard lights up. Then, he
+  and they go to the driver&apos;s cabin. Jack turns a key switch and
-  pushes the engine start button. The engine begins to turn over.
+  part of the dashboard lights up. Then, he pushes the engine start button.
-  While holding the button, Jack points to the fuel pressure gauge,
+  The engine begins to turn over. While holding the button, Jack points
-  slightly raising his voice to talk over the engine:<br />
+  to the fuel pressure gauge, slightly raising his voice to talk over
+  the engine:<br />
   <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s progress already.</span><br />
   The needle on the gauge slowly creeps to the right.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Too slow though</span>, he adds after a
@@ -56,9 +57,9 @@ going with this so I'll just leave it in here, commented out.
 <p>
   Michelle suggests they take a look at the fuel injection. Jack turns
   the key switch off again and they go to the middle of the railcar.
-  The floor panels above the engine bay are already missing, they had
+  The floor panels above the engine bay are missing, they had removed
-  removed them earlier to replace the bits of rotting hose in the fuel
+  them earlier to replace the bits of rotting hose in the fuel line.
-  line. Jack grabs the manual from one of the seats and starts flipping
+  Jack grabs the manual from one of the seats and starts flipping
   through the pages while Michelle jumps out and stops the generator.
   He begins to undo <span class="comment">knowledge gap here: How
   does that work? What do you undo to fix a gunked-up fuel injection?
@@ -79,9 +80,7 @@ going with this so I'll just leave it in here, commented out.
   looking at Michelle and the bucket. She looks up at him and says:<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Barely a few drips. But there&apos;s pressure
   on the other side of the fuel filter.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">So we need a new one?</span>
+  <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m gonna look for a spare.</span><br />
-</p>
-<p>
   He walks over to the closest door and jumps out. Michelle begins
   undoing the clamps holding the fuel line to the filter while Jack
   starts searching all drawers and boxes in the vicinity for a
@@ -132,7 +131,7 @@ going with this so I'll just leave it in here, commented out.
   It does, so he forces the lugs onto the battery terminals which now have
   pieces of wire stuck to them.<br />
   Michelle leans out of the window and says:
-  <span class="quote speech">The gauge with the battery symbol just jumped
+  <span class="quote speech">The gauge with the battery symbol just dropped
   to the red line.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">If it&apos;s not past it, should be
   fine.</span><br />

na-Telescope.html

@@ -100,7 +100,7 @@
   <span class="quote speech"></span>
 </p>
 <p class="comment">
-  Plot hole: geodesic dome bad.
+  Plot hole: why geodesic dome?
   They start exploring in the optical telescope building - not wasting
   too much time there. Then, they go into the radome.
 </p>