'qa' Overdue Maintenance: reordering some events

qa-Overdue_Maintenence-power_station.html

@@ -5,38 +5,56 @@
   Roaring water echoes from somewhere deep below. Annie grabs her bag and
   goes ahead. The tunnel wall to the right features doors, large gates,
   and windows that allow a peek into abandoned offices, storage spaces, and
-  control rooms. The end of the tunnel connects to a balcony with rusty
+  control rooms. The end of the tunnel connects to a balcony with rusted
-  walkways connecting to either side, extending into a narrow ravine.
+  metal walkways going to either side, extending into a narrow ravine.
-  She steps onto it, making sure to keep her distance to the railing, and
+  She steps onto it, making sure to keep her distance to the rusty railing,
-  looks around. The walkway to the right connects to the top of a dam
+  and looks around. The walkway to the right connects to the top of a dam
-  blocking the ravine. A couple bushes, purple flowers, and a small tree
+  blocking the ravine. A couple bushes, flowers, and a small tree grow
-  grow on top of it and the wall is partially green from moss. Water flows
+  there, partially concealing the rusty <span class="comment">armatures?
-  over the spillway, falling into the depths below where it joins a torrent
+  </span> and the wall is green from moss and small ferns. Water flows
-  of water coming from two big pipes at the bottom of the ravine.
+  over the spillway, falling into the depths below where it joins a
+  torrent of water rushing out of two big pipes at the bottom of the
+  ravine. The other walkway leads to a freestanding staircase going all
+  the way down.
 </p>
 <p>
-  She turns around to see Jack getting a toolbox from the truck bed and
+  Jack walks up next to her, grabbing hold of the railing, trying to
-  James and Michelle waiting next to a door, holding a large box full of
+  shake it but it doesn't budge.<br />
-  random spare parts. She hurries over to them and opens it by pulling a
+  <span class="quote speech">Looks like it&apos;s gonna hold.</span><br />
-  loop of wire through the latch.
+  He turns to the right and steps onto the walkway before having an idea.
+  He turns to Annie and Michelle:<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Ladies first.</span><br />
+  While Annie is still thinking about a response, Michelle&apos;s response
+  is immediate:<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Thanks but you can go ahead.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">You two are lighter though.</span>
+</p>
+<p class="comment">
+  They walk to the dam, look into the windows
+</p>
+<p class="comment">
+  Some events have changed, this needs to be tied together again.
 </p>
 <p>
+  <span class="quote speech">Annie?</span> Michelle calls
+  <span class="comment">?</span> her. They are standing by one of the doors
+  in the tunnel wall. Jack pulls a wire through the latch and opens it.
   Inside is the main control room. The wall to the right is lined with
-  metal cabinets that have levers, buttons, dials, and large gauges on
+  metal cabinets that have levers, buttons, switches, and large gauges on
   them. The wall to the left features a front of windows, allowing a view
-  of the spillway and the top of the dam, below which is a random
+  of the spillway and the top of the dam. Some of the windows have cracks
-  collection of furniture, primarily desks and chairs. Some of the windows
+  but somehow none are broken. In front of the windows is a collection of
-  have cracks but, by some miracle, none are broken. The center of the room
+  random furniture, mostly desks and chairs. The center of the room is
-  is taken up by a large console with more buttons, switches, and gauges
+  taken up by a large console with more buttons, switches, and gauges that
-  that is facing the windows and an opening in the floor covered by a thick
+  is facing the windows and an opening in the floor covered by a thick
-  glass pane.
+  glass pane. They roam around the room for a moment. Annie looks outside,
+  admiring the flowering lilypads floating in the water that is held back
+  by the dam.
 </p>
 <p>
-  They set down their things and roam around the room. Out of nowhere,
+  Michelle asks: <span class="quote speech">Jack, what&apos;s the status
-  Michelle asks:<br />
+  on that dome city you&apos;re building? You guys only have two years to
-  <span class="quote speech">Jack, what&apos;s the status on that dome city
+  finish that project.</span><br />
-  you&apos;re building? You guys only have two years to finish that
-  project.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Oh no, I guess we&apos;re gonna have to slack
   less while waiting for bureaucracy to take its course.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Look, the power lines are gonna get hooked up
@@ -52,12 +70,12 @@
   Jack looks at a clipboard that was placed on the control panel on the
   center console.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">The next maintenence expedition is scheduled
-  for 2011 &ndash; I don&apos;t think anyone ever stepped foot in here
+  for 2011... I don&apos;t think anyone ever stepped foot in here after
-  after &lt;dome city&gt; was closed off.</span><br />
+  &lt;dome city&gt; was closed off.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">It wouldn&apos;t surprise me.</span> Annie
-  leans against the center console. <span class="quote speech">Apart from a
+  turns around and leans against the center console.
-  small group, the entire city is legitimately scared of the outside
+  <span class="quote speech">Apart from a small group, the entire city is
-  world.</span><br />
+  legitimately scared of the outside world.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">I mean they&apos;re probably right, the
   outside world is dangerous. Look down, by the way.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Whoa!</span><br />
@@ -65,25 +83,15 @@
   glass pane. It allows a view down into a hall filled with machinery.
 </p>
 <p>
-  They look down into it. Water is pouring out of a burst pipe and from
+  They gather around it and look down. The floor is flooded by water
-  the flanges between pipes.<br />
+  rushing out of a burst pipe and spraying out from the flanges of many
+  other pipe sections.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">It&apos;s a miracle this place is still
   running.</span>
 </p>
 <p class="comment">
   missing section
 </p>
-<p>
-  Jack walks up to the rusty railing, grabbing it and trying to shake it
-  as hard as he can but it doesn&apos;t even rattle.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Quality engineering.</span><br />
-  Using the walkway to the right, they get on top of the dam.
-  <span class="comment">And now what?</span>
-</p>
-<p>
-  The other walkway connects to a freestanding staircase leading all the
-  way down.
-</p>
 <p>
   Jack turns the key and the gate starts to move up, scrathcing and
   squeeking as it does, revealing a bunch of crates. About half-way