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05 Eventful Evening: language improvements, fix of a critical logic error 

Originally, I had the idea that any knowledge of the outside world is
forbidden knowledge but I have since decided (and written with the
assumption) that people generally know of the outside world but regard it
as completely uninhabitable.
master
BodgeMaster 2023-10-10 08:03:29 +02:00
parent 1cba1cec4a
commit 9f65f9c793
1 changed files with 3 additions and 4 deletions
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05-Eventful_Evening-secret_organization.html
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@ -84,7 +84,7 @@
Annie looks through the window in the door as the train enters the Annie looks through the window in the door as the train enters the
station. The platform is empty except for a shady figure in a hoodie station. The platform is empty except for a shady figure in a hoodie
leaning against the wall, observing the train from under his hood. She leaning against the wall, observing the train from under his hood. She
looks at the clock on the station: 10:34 PM - a bit late. As soon as he looks at the clock in the station: 10:34 PM - a bit late. As soon as he
notices her, he steps away from the wall and walks up to the train. notices her, he steps away from the wall and walks up to the train.
<span class="comment"> Is there a more elegant way to say that he stops <span class="comment"> Is there a more elegant way to say that he stops
leaning on the wall? </span> The pressurized air for the doors hisses in leaning on the wall? </span> The pressurized air for the doors hisses in
@ -115,7 +115,7 @@
<span class="speech">Well, there might be. Some friends of mine say there <span class="speech">Well, there might be. Some friends of mine say there
is.</span><br /> is.</span><br />
Annie thinks about it for a moment. Before yesterday, she wasn&apos;t Annie thinks about it for a moment. Before yesterday, she wasn&apos;t
even aware that there was a world outside the dome - and now she might even aware that life could exist outside the dome - and now she might
find out about a way to go there? <br /> find out about a way to go there? <br />
<span class="speech">Tell me more</span>, she replies. <span class="speech">Tell me more</span>, she replies.
</p> </p>
@ -139,8 +139,7 @@
feels dense and depleted, and carries the smell of alcohol. Live feels dense and depleted, and carries the smell of alcohol. Live
musicians are playing <span class="comment"> Idk? Music genre? Need ideas musicians are playing <span class="comment"> Idk? Music genre? Need ideas
</span> on a small stage area in the corner. <br /> </span> on a small stage area in the corner. <br />
<span class="speech">Hey Kate, I&apos;ll take a <span class="comment"> <span class="speech">Hey Kate, I&apos;ll take a Braincell Rattler
some very alcoholic drink? &quot;Braincell Rattler&quot;? Idk </span>
and my uhh... friend here looks like she needs a coffee.</span><br /> and my uhh... friend here looks like she needs a coffee.</span><br />
<span class="speech">Okay. Going to the back room?</span><br /> <span class="speech">Okay. Going to the back room?</span><br />
<span class="speech">Yeah.</span><br /> <span class="speech">Yeah.</span><br />