'ka' I Like Trains: Revision
parent
06be4b41b4
commit
a423f4ea22
|
@ -3,14 +3,15 @@
|
|||
<h1>I Like Trains</h1>
|
||||
<p>
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Michelle! Guess what I found...</span><br />
|
||||
She climbs through the gap between rotting cars on the adjacent track.
|
||||
The two are exploring one of Ivydale's train yards. Michelle climbs
|
||||
through between the rotting cars on an adjacent track, looking for him.
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">No idea. Where are you?</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Up here.</span><br />
|
||||
Jack is standing on top of one of the metro trains. Michelle climbs onto
|
||||
the link between cars, from there onto the the edge of the broken
|
||||
windshield, and Jack helps her up to the rather sketchy-looking roof.
|
||||
<br />
|
||||
Jack is standing on top of <span class="comment">atop?</span> one of the
|
||||
metro trains. Michelle climbs onto the link between cars, from there
|
||||
onto the the edge of the broken windshield, and Jack helps her up to the
|
||||
rather sketchy-looking roof.<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Look, over there...</span><br />
|
||||
He points across the deteriorating trains, towards the outermost track of
|
||||
the overgrown train yard. A small roof – or in places what remains
|
||||
|
@ -23,13 +24,11 @@
|
|||
</p>
|
||||
<p>
|
||||
They climb back down and make their way over to one of the tank cars.
|
||||
Jack clmbs onto the side of the car and attempts to use the ladder
|
||||
Jack clmbs onto the end of the car and attempts to use the ladder
|
||||
leading to the top. It crumbles under his feet.
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">I guess I found the way down – hey, use
|
||||
me as a ladder.</span> He leans against the tank and helps her on top of
|
||||
it.
|
||||
<span class="comment">Wording!! "ladder" and "helps"
|
||||
reads weird twice in a row</span>
|
||||
me as a ladder instead.</span> He leans against the tank and helps her
|
||||
on top of it.
|
||||
</p>
|
||||
<p>
|
||||
Michelle inspects the lid. It's held on with large nuts.<br />
|
||||
|
@ -45,8 +44,8 @@
|
|||
<span class="quote speech">I'm afraid to see what you call very
|
||||
rusty.</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">This thing, for example.</span><br />
|
||||
He hits the ladder with it, causing a large section of it to break off
|
||||
and crumble. Then, he hands her the wrench. After a bit of fiddling, she
|
||||
He hits the ladder with it, causing a large section to break off and
|
||||
crumble. Then, he hands her the wrench. After a bit of fiddling, she
|
||||
manages to get a good grip on one of the nuts holding the lid in place
|
||||
– it doesn't budge.<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Need a hammer or something?</span><br />
|
||||
|
@ -55,34 +54,37 @@
|
|||
Jack picks up a section of metal pipe and passes it to her. Putting it
|
||||
over the wrench for additional leverage, she pushes against it until the
|
||||
bolt snaps with a bang.<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">That's certainly one of the ways to undo
|
||||
a nut</span>, she says before moving on to the next one.
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">That's certainly one of the ways to
|
||||
unbolt this thing...</span> she says before moving on to the next one.
|
||||
</p>
|
||||
<p>
|
||||
One by one, she removes the other nuts. Some of them snap off, some
|
||||
unscrew with considerable force. She lets go of the pipe and attempts
|
||||
to lift the lid – it's still stuck in place. Using the wrench
|
||||
as a hammer, she whacks it until it comes loose.<br />
|
||||
as a hammer, she whacks it until it comes loose...<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">There's nothing in here.</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech"><i>Great.</i> I guess there are a bunch more
|
||||
we can try...</span> <span class="comment">needs a better reaction, may
|
||||
we can try.</span> <span class="comment">needs a better reaction, may
|
||||
want to state disappointment explicitly</span><br />
|
||||
She jumps down onto the edge of the car.<br />
|
||||
She jumps back down onto the end of the car.<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Looks like we'll be climbing a bunch of
|
||||
tank cars today.</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Let's see about that... Mind giving me
|
||||
the wrench for a moment?</span><br />
|
||||
She hands it back to Jack. He uses it to knock against the wall of the
|
||||
next tank.<br />
|
||||
She hands it back to Jack. He jumps over the gap between cars and uses
|
||||
it to knock against the wall of the next tank.<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Sounds empty.</span>
|
||||
</p>
|
||||
<p>
|
||||
The third tank seems more promising. It only makes a dull <i>clunk</i>
|
||||
when Jack hits it with the wrench. He helps Michelle on top again.
|
||||
when Jack hits it with the wrench. Michelle climbs on top again.
|
||||
The nuts on this one come off more easily and it doesn't take
|
||||
long until she lifts the lid.<br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Jackpot! Smells like diesel.</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Stupid idea but I need to show you
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Jackpot!</span> She sniffs the smell coming
|
||||
off the liquid inside. <span class="quote speech">Smells like
|
||||
diesel.</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Nice! Let's find a truck or something
|
||||
to drive around in... Wait, stupid idea but I need to show you
|
||||
something.</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Oh no, what are you up to again?</span><br />
|
||||
<span class="quote speech">Nothing in particular... Wanna follow me for a
|
||||
|
|
Loading…
Reference in New Issue