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'ja' Erosion: revise dialogs so Sunside Cove doesn't appear as an afterthought

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BodgeMaster 2025-05-26 09:31:06 +02:00
parent 9b7613d46f
commit be8bdd9a02
1 changed files with 23 additions and 23 deletions
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ja-erosion-michelle_wakeup.html
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@ -26,13 +26,13 @@
<span class="quote speech">You&apos;re kidding.</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">You&apos;re kidding.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Nope.</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">Nope.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">How&apos;d you get woken up then?</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">How&apos;d you get woken up then?</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Technical failure. The preservation chamber <span class="quote speech">Technical failure in my preservation
died.</span><br /> chamber.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">You survived that?</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">You survived that?</span><br />
He chuckles. <span class="quote speech">That was the least of my He chuckles. <span class="quote speech">That was the least of my
challenges.</span> challenges. The failsafe worked.</span><br />
He briefly tells her how he found himself trapped inside and that he He briefly tells her that he found himself trapped inside and turned
turned to the dome city for help. to the dome city for help.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
Michelle&apos;s dizziness starts to go away and the burning sensation Michelle&apos;s dizziness starts to go away and the burning sensation
@ -41,33 +41,33 @@
<span class="quote speech">So? What now? Any plans?</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">So? What now? Any plans?</span><br />
Jack gets up as well and picks up the glass.<br /> Jack gets up as well and picks up the glass.<br />
<span class="quote speech">I guess, for now, taking a look at the <span class="quote speech">I guess, for now, taking a look at the
uplink. I wanna see if we can get it going again.</span><br /> uplink. I wanna see if we can get it going again. After that, we need
to return a favor to the dome city people.</span><br />
He sets the glass on the table.<br /> He sets the glass on the table.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Thanks.</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">Thanks.</span><br />
She thinks for a moment.<br /> She thinks for a moment.<br />
<span class="quote speech">Assuming we can fix it... Then what?</span> <span class="quote speech">Assuming we can fix it... Then what?</span>
<br /> <br />
<span class="quote speech">Honestly, I don&apos;t know. Maybe they have <span class="quote speech">Honestly, I don&apos;t know. Maybe the moon
something to do for us, maybe they don&apos;t. I&apos;m&nbsp;just curious base has something to do for us, maybe they don&apos;t.
about the state of things up there.</span><br /> I&apos;m&nbsp;just curious about the state of things up there.</span>
<span class="quote speech">Sounds good &ndash; but I don&apos;t feel <br />
quite ready for a hike like that.</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">Sounds good. Though give me a bit longer,
I don&apos;t feel quite ready for a hike like that.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">Take your time, you just woke up.</span><br /> <span class="quote speech">Take your time, you just woke up.</span><br />
She pulls back one of the chairs, sits down, and takes another sip.<br /> She pulls back one of the chairs, sits down, and takes another sip.<br />
<span class="quote speech">If we can&apos;t fix it... The people who <span class="quote speech">So what&apos;s that favor for the dome
helped you, do you think they&apos;d help us with the uplink too?</span> city?</span><br />
<br /> <span class="quote speech">They&apos;re stuck inside as well and want
<span class="quote speech">Don&apos;t know if they would, but they our help.</span><br />
can&apos;t. They&apos;re stuck inside the dome city and want our <span class="quote speech">How? Even if the tunnels are collapsed,
help.</span><br /> I can think of a few other ways to get out.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">How? Even if the tunnels have collapsed,
I can think of a few other ways to break&nbsp;out.</span><br />
<span class="quote speech">From what I know, they aren&apos;t physically <span class="quote speech">From what I know, they aren&apos;t physically
trapped inside, the people in charge just don&apos;t want anyone to trapped inside, the people in charge just don&apos;t want anyone to
leave.</span><br /> leave.</span><br />
Jack sits down across from her and retells everything that had happened Jack sits down across from her and retells everything that had happened,
in detail, starting with his preservaton chamber breaking down. starting with his preservaton chamber breaking down. It takes him about
It takes him about half an hour, including answering Michelles questions. half an hour, including answering Michelles questions.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
<span class="quote speech">How have you been dealing with food? <span class="quote speech">How have you been dealing with food?
@ -143,7 +143,7 @@
the uplink is down &ndash; it literally ...<i>is&nbsp;down</i>...</span> the uplink is down &ndash; it literally ...<i>is&nbsp;down</i>...</span>
<br /> <br />
Michelle reaches the edge and and sees what Jack had stopped for: Michelle reaches the edge and and sees what Jack had stopped for:
A large <span class="comment">ravine? wash?</span> extends downwards A large <span class="comment">wash?</span> extends downwards
from the top of the mountain where a landslide had left nothing but from the top of the mountain where a landslide had left nothing but
a cliff and a huge pile of rubble. At the top of the mountain, teetering a cliff and a huge pile of rubble. At the top of the mountain, teetering
on the edge, are two buildings &ndash; all that&apos;s left of the ground on the edge, are two buildings &ndash; all that&apos;s left of the ground