'na' Telescope: revision, continue writing

na-Telescope.html

@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@
   Michelle pulls onto the street in front of the bunker.<br />
   James asks her: <span class="quote speech">How far is it?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">A decent bit. Used to be about an hour on the
-  highway... If it&apos;s in even somewhat decent shape, I&apos;d say
+  highway. If it&apos;s in even somewhat decent shape, I&apos;d say
   we&apos;re gonna make it there in about that time.</span><br />
   She turns right at an intersection onto the on-ramp, saying:<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Gonna find out very soon...</span>
@@ -23,41 +23,55 @@
   on the uneven asphalt. James <span class="comment">hangs on to the handle
   </span>in the door as the remains of the city outskirts fly by.
   Michelle notices it:<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">You don&apos;t need to hold on, that seat
+  <span class="quote speech">James, relax, that seat belt is gonna hold
-  belt is gonna hold you.</span><br />
+  you.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">How are you not absolutely terrified by the
   speed you&apos;re going?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">You get used to it after a while... Also,
-  I know the capabilities of this car very well &ndash; I used to drive
+  I know very well what I can or can&apos;t do with this car &ndash;
-  one like this.</span>
+  I used to drive the same model.</span>
+  <span class="comment">wording?</span>
 </p>
 <p>
   Within a few minutes, they make it out of Ivydale, leaving its valley
   behind. The mountains make way for an area of plains and shallow hills.
-  She takes an exit onto another highway. The large, rusty signs above
+  The large, rusty signs above still indicate the proximity of
-  still indicate the proximity of Sentinel Shores where they haven&apos;t
+  Sentinel&nbsp;Shores where they haven&apos;t faded completely. Following
-  faded completely. <span class="comment">feels like something is missing
+  them, Michelle takes an exit onto another highway that takes them north,
-  here</span>
+  around the western part of Ivydale&apos;s lower side.
-</p>
-<p>
-  The highway takes them north, around the western part of Ivydale&apos;s
-  lower side. After a while, they approach what used to be the outskirts of
-  Sentinel Shores and Michelle takes an exit, getting them onto a rural
-  road. The observatory is located on a hill, now ahead of them; a small
-  group of buildings in the distance.
-  <span class="comment">What symbol to put where that semicolon is?
-  Keep the semicolon? A comma? A dash?</span>
 </p>
 <p>
+  After a while, they approach what used to be the outskirts of
+  Sentinel&nbsp;Shores and Michelle takes an exit, getting them onto
+  a rural road. The observatory is located on a hill, now ahead of them
+  &ndash; a small group of buildings in the distance.
   As they get closer, the buildings take distinct shapes. Two of them stand
-  out: The one in the center holds a large geodesic dome and another one off
+  out: The one in the center holds a large geodesic dome and another one
-  to the side <span class="comment">elegant description of an optical
+  off to the side is a smooth round dome with a slot cut out of it for
-  observatory?</span>. The other buildings look mostly unremarkable.
+  a telescope to peek through. Well, it <i>was</i> smooth at one point
+  &ndash; now, it has many holes with a tree growing out of the largest
+  one. The geodesic dome has ivy vines clinging to it but looks otherwise
+  surprisingly intact. The other buildings look like mostly unremarkable
+  ruins in various stages of decay.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Michelle parks the truck on what remains of the large paved area between
+  Michelle says to James:<br />
-  the buildings and they get out. Trees and bushes grow all over the place,
+  <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m sorry but it doesn&apos;t look
-  some even out of the windows and through the roofs of the buildings.
+  like your idea of using telescope is gonna pan out.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Oh well, still worth checking it out &ndash;
+  maybe, there are old photos left behind... Didn&apos;t you say you also
+  need the telescope?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">We need the <i>radio</i> telescope. That&apos;s
+  a very different beast. It&apos;s in that ball made of triangles in the
+  middle there.</span>
+</p>
+<p>
+  She drives onto what remains of the large paved space inbetween the
+  buildings and parks the truck next to the entrance to the optical
+  telescope. They get out and look around. Trees and bushes grow all over
+  the place, some even out of the buildings. Dora runs up to a bush and
+  barks at it. A young fox jumps out and runs away.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Dora, c&apos;mere!</span>
 </p>
 <p class="comment">
   What now? They start exploring but where to they begin?