'mc' Welcome Home: continue writing and some revision

mc-welcome_home.html

@@ -4,47 +4,74 @@
 
 <p>
   <span class="quote speech">I smell fire.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Yes, we&apos;re almost there.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">We&apos;re almost there.</span><br />
   Annie is slightly confused by his answer and how seemingly unfazed he is.
   <br />
   <span class="quote speech">Don&apos;t you want to do something about
   it?</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Fires out here aren&apos;t all bad news.
-  Sometimes, they are, but I&apos;m gonna guess this one&apos;s our
-  campfire.</span>
+  Some are, but I&apos;m gonna guess this one&apos;s our campfire.</span>
 </p>
 <p>
-  They walk over a ridge, revealing a view of the small valley beyond.
-  The large, open bunker door is visible on the other side, in front of it
-  a small fire with a person sitting next to it.<br />
-  <span class="comment">Is there a word for a terrain feature like a valley
-  but a lot smaller?</span>
+  Annie and Jack walk over a ridge, revealing a view of the small valley
+  beyond. The large, open bunker door is visible on the other side,
+  with bushes to the left and right and an open area in front of it that
+  connects to an old, partially overgrown street. A person is sitting
+  next to a fire right in front of the door, cooking over the flames.<br />
+  <span class="comment">Is there a word for a terrain feature like a very
+  small valley?</span>
 </p>
 <p>
   They make their way across and Jack introduces Michelle and Annie to each
   other.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">So you join us out here after all?</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Things kinda went south quickly.</span></br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Yeah, things kinda went south quickly.</span>
+  </br />
   They all sit down around the fire and Annie recounts the events of the
-  recent past. <span class="comment">Idk, something needs
-  to happen here. They start making food or whatever.</span>
+  recent past while the meal continues cooking.
 </p>
 <p>
-  Michelle tilts her head, then turns around. <span class="quote speech">Is
-  that a dog? There&apos;s a dog here!</span><br />
-  A medium-sized dog runs out of the bushes, barks and then turns around
-  and runs back. A moment latrer, it reappears, followed by an
-  <span class="comment">unkempt?</span> dude wearing a long coat
-  that has been patched a couple times. He holds a long staff, using it as
-  a <span class="comment">Wanderstab?</span>.
+  A noise in the bushes around the bunker entrance gets their attention.
+  Michelle tilts her head, then turns around.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Is that a dog? There&apos;s a dog here!</span>
+  <br />
+  A medium-sized, brown dog runs out, barks and then runs back into the
+  bushes. A moment later, it reappears, followed by a guy wearing a long,
+  dark green coat that has been patched a few times. He holds a long staff,
+  using it as a <span class="comment">Wanderstab? Cane?</span>.
 </p>
 <p>
-  <span class="quote speech">Good evening, people!</span>
-  <span class="comment">realistic?</span><br />
-  Michelle replies: <span class="quote speech">Evening.</span><br />
-  <span class="quote speech">Dora, sit!</span><br />
-  The others greet the stranger as well. He asks for directions to the
-  Sentinel Shores observatory.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Good evening!</span><br />
+  They greet the stranger back and Michelle and Jack invite him to stay.
+  <br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Gladly.</span> He comes closer.
+  <span class="quote speech">I&apos;m James, the green wizard of
+  Siren&apos;s&nbsp;Edge.</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Michelle, time traveller. Can you show us
+  some of your magic?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">Well, currently no, my staff is broken.</span>
+  He swings it around and makes some funny noises.
+  <span class="quote speech">See? Not working.</span><br />
+  They all have a laugh and Annie and Jack introduce themselves in a more
+  normal manner. Michelle asks:<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">What leads you to the area?</span><br />
+  <span class="quote speech">I am searching for... &emsp;&emsp; Dora!
+  C&apos;mere, sit!</span><br />
+  The dog stops sniffing the pots over the fire and returns to James.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">As I was saying, I am looking for pictures
+  from the old world like this one...</span><br />
+  He shows an old, crumpled photo that, while faded and discolored, still
+  clearly depicts a nebula and some stars.<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">... and maybe the means to take them.
+  I heard there is a quite well-preserved observatory near
+  Sentinel&nbsp;Shores.</span><br />
+  <span class="comment">This is a new lead for Michelle and Jack.</span>
+</p>
+<p class="comment">
+  Michelle takes the pots off the fire and Jack gets dishes from inside
+  the bunker.<br />
+  (Some of) The food is unfamiliar to Annie.<br />
+  While eating, they discuss their mission.
 </p>
 
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