'zz' (End): revision

zz--end.html

@@ -6,10 +6,10 @@
   The group sits around the pot with leftovers on the gas stove, enjoying
   the view of the skyline from above. They had decided to wait on top of
   one of the tallest sky scrapers the city had to offer to increase their
-  odds of seeing where Emily would land. The intense light of the sunset
-  paints Nova Metropolis in various hues of vibrant orange and the moon
-  is already visible in the sky. They are engaged in a conversation about
-  the mind-boggling vastness of space and all it contains.
+  odds of seeing where Emily would land. The intense light of the setting
+  sun paints Nova Metropolis in vibrant hues of yellow and orange and the
+  moon is already visible in the sky. They are engaged in a conversation
+  about the mind-boggling vastness of space and all it contains.
 </p>
 <p class="strong">
   bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep bebebebeep
@@ -31,36 +31,34 @@
   towards the sky. Jack and Annie join them. Jack takes a compass out of
   his pocket and briefly looks at it. Then, he points in a direction in the
   sky and says:<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">The pod should appear somewhere around
+  <span class="quote speech">The shuttle should appear somewhere around
   there.</span><br />
   James hands his binoculars to Michelle for a moment.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">I see it! There!</span> she exclaims before
-  handing them back to him.
-</p>
-<p>
-  The capsule looks like a tiny, red glowing dot in the sky, slowly
-  growing in size. For a few minutes, nothing seems to happen. The dot gets
-  bigger and bigger turning into a black circle as the glow dims and
-  finally disappears. The pod sheds its heat shield as it slowly comes
-  closer.
+  handing them back to him.<br />
+  It looks like a tiny, red glowing dot in the sky, slowly growing in size.
+  For a few minutes, nothing seems to happen. The dot gets bigger and
+  bigger, turning into a black triangle as the glow dims and finally
+  disappears. The shuttle sheds its heat shield as it slowly comes closer.
 </p>
 <p>
   Around the 15 minute mark, Jack notices that it has moved almost above
   them.<br />
-  <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s a bit too close for comfort - and
-  way too fast.</span> he says.<br />
-  Parts appear to be breaking off from the pod. They watch the last couple
-  minutes of the fall realizing that something has seriously gone wrong.
-  It plummets into the city, shaking the ground slightly, and taking
-  multiple buildings down with it. Nobody says anything for a while as they
+  <span class="quote speech">That&apos;s a bit too close for comfort &ndash;
+  and way too fast.</span> he says.<br />
+  Parts appear to be breaking off from it. They watch the last couple
+  minutes of the fall realizing that something has gone seriously wrong.
+  It plummets into the city, taking multiple buildings down with it.
+  The ground shakes slightly. Nobody says anything for a while as they
   watch the buildings around the impact crumble and the remaining parts
   rain out of the sky in a mix of awe and shock.
 </p>
 <p>
-  <span class="quote speech">Guys, over there!</span> Michelle points into
-  the sky behind them. <span class="quote speech">A parachute...</span>
-  <br />
-  <span class="comment">reaction needed</span><br />
+  Michelle interrupts the silence: <span class="quote speech">Guys, over
+  there!</span> She points into the sky behind them.
+  <span class="quote speech">A parachute...</span><br />
+  <span class="comment">reaction needed &ndash; something along the lines
+  of &quot;Sie hat mehr Gl&uuml;ck als Verstand&quot;</span><br />
   They watch as it disappears between the buildings.
 </p>
 <p>
@@ -68,8 +66,11 @@
   he had insisted on bringing.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">Maybe, she can hear us from here...</span>
   <br />
-  She swiches it on and turns the frequency dial until the needle is in
-  the position that Jack had marked.<br />
+  She hooks up the battery, flips the power switch, and turns the frequency
+  dial until the needle is in the position that Jack had marked.<br />
+  <span class="comment">Note to self: The battery is a car battery. Make
+  that clear at some point before this chapter. Maybe include the part where
+  Jack insists on bringing it.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">Emily, can you hear us? Are you okay?</span>
   <span class="comment">Might benefit from proper radio protocol</span>
   <br />