'va' Alone: revision

va-Alone-Lena_death.html

@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@
   Tony's cure – no matter what risk it posed ... – maybe
   some of them would have made it.</span><br />
   <span class="quote speech">What about you?</span> Emily asks with a
-  slither of hope in her voice.<br />
+  sliver of hope in her voice.<br />
   <span class="quote speech">No &ndash; no cure can save me, it&apos;s too
   late.</span><br />
   Emily tears up. <span class="comment">note: Slightly. Is there a better
@@ -86,16 +86,17 @@
   it and opens the valves again. Just as she is done with that, her own
   alarm goes off. <span class="comment">Disappointed/annoyed reaction</span>
 </p>
-<p class="comment">
-  Emily sits down next to Lena again, but there is no conversation.
-</p>
 <p>
-  Emily looks at Lena &ndash; she had closed her eyes. As if she knew Emily
-  was looking she opens them, looking directly at her.
-  <span class="comment">Gripping?</span> her hand as she speaks.
-  <span class="comment">some meaningful last words?</span> Then she lets go
-  and closes her eyes again. A couple minutes later, she stops breathing.
-  <span class="comment">wording</span>
+  Emily sits down across from Lena, radio still on, but there is only silence,
+  occasionally broken by the crackle of cosmic radiation. She looks at Lena
+  &ndash; who had closed her eyes. As if she knew Emily was looking, she opens
+  them, looking directly at her, taking her hands and holding them tightly
+  as she speaks:<br />
+  <span class="quote speech">There will come a day when you have no choice but
+  to leave. I hope that day will find you strong and brave to beat the odds
+  again. You got this, little one.</span><br />
+  Then she lets go and closes her eyes again. Emily moves next to her and holds
+  her hand as Lena drifts away. A few minutes pass and she stops breathing.
 </p>
 <p class="comment">
   Emily sits next to Lena for a while, completely out of it, her mind