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'va' Alone: minor revision

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BodgeMaster 2023-11-22 13:06:56 +01:00
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va-Alone-Lena_death.html
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@ -53,7 +53,7 @@
Lena dies Lena dies
</li> </li>
<li class="comment"> <li class="comment">
Emily returns inside and goes to the control center Emily returns inside and goes to a room with a view of the sky
<ul> <ul>
<li class="comment"> <li class="comment">
following any procedures such as operating the air lock as following any procedures such as operating the air lock as
@ -84,7 +84,7 @@
Emily takes their helmets and brings them into the airlock. She returns Emily takes their helmets and brings them into the airlock. She returns
for a life support unit, pulls it out of the rack in the wall, and sets for a life support unit, pulls it out of the rack in the wall, and sets
it down on the floor. Following a mental checklist, she makes sure that it down on the floor. Following a mental checklist, she makes sure that
the air tank is connected properly and the status display reads what it the air bottle is connected properly and the gauges read what they
should. Everything okay... or is it? She double-checks with the check should. Everything okay... or is it? She double-checks with the check
list on the wall. Yes, this unit is ready. She triple-checks everything list on the wall. Yes, this unit is ready. She triple-checks everything
&ndash; first time it actually matters. Reasonably satisfied with her &ndash; first time it actually matters. Reasonably satisfied with her
@ -96,8 +96,8 @@
The pumps are getting quieter and quieter. Lena kneels on the floor The pumps are getting quieter and quieter. Lena kneels on the floor
holding a bunch of flowers from the biotope module, her life support holding a bunch of flowers from the biotope module, her life support
unit next to her on a short tether. Emily puts it on her back and and unit next to her on a short tether. Emily puts it on her back and and
helps her up. The outer door of the airlock swings aside and they start helps her up. The outer door of the airlock silently swings aside and
walking, Lena leaning on Emily. they start walking, Lena leaning on Emily.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
They reach the graveyard and walk over to the recent graves. The entire They reach the graveyard and walk over to the recent graves. The entire
@ -105,7 +105,7 @@
buried. Some have signs with names, some have painted pieces of regalith buried. Some have signs with names, some have painted pieces of regalith
as gravestones, some have <span class="comment">&lt;the crumpled remains as gravestones, some have <span class="comment">&lt;the crumpled remains
of&gt;? What happens to flowers when exposed to vacuum for a prolonged of&gt;? What happens to flowers when exposed to vacuum for a prolonged
amount of time?</span> flowers next to them, some are entirely amount of time?</span> flowers next to them, a few are entirely
undecorated. undecorated.
</p> </p>
<p> <p>
@ -140,14 +140,13 @@
Emily starting to reconsider her choice not to leave the moon Emily starting to reconsider her choice not to leave the moon
</lI> </lI>
<li class="comment"> <li class="comment">
brief mention that the conversation changes to a more pleasant topic The conversation topic changes to Earth in general
and continues for a while
</li> </li>
</ul> </ul>
<p> <p>
The conversation is interrupted by the beeping of Lena&apos;s low oxygen The conversation is interrupted by the beeping of Lena&apos;s low oxygen
alarm going off. Emily gets up and walks back to the habitat. She enters alarm going off. Emily gets up and walks back to the habitat. She enters
through the airlock and looks for a full oxygen bottle. She lifts one through the airlock and looks for a full air bottle. She lifts one
out of its rack and carries it back to Lena. She opens the life support out of its rack and carries it back to Lena. She opens the life support
unit and closes the valves on it and the empty bottle, then she replaces unit and closes the valves on it and the empty bottle, then she replaces
it and opens the valves again. Just as she is done with that, her own it and opens the valves again. Just as she is done with that, her own